Ruby Red: When His Eyes Aren't Gold
by StoriesByJamie
Summary: This is Twilight if Edward and his family hád drank human blood, but still remained a quiet, unobtrusive to an extent, family. Same characters/pairings as in Twilight and there could be some chapters but with a bit of a twist. Almost all chapters in EPOV!
1. Chapter 1: Wrongfulness

_No, I don't own any of Stephenie Meyer's characters...I wish I did._

_there'll be more chapters and this one may be revised (made longer, etcetera, etcetera)_

**Wrongfulness**

_Edward, let's go! What are you waiting for?_ Alice screamed to me in her mind. She was irritated, which I couldn't blame her for, since I'd suddenly stopped running out of the blue. Emmett nearly fell off the side of the mountain – although Alice probably would have found that quite funny.

I didn't know what got into me, something told me to stop, or rather to run! To run like I had never ran before!

I didn't really like the feeling: a mixture of pain, anguish and pure horror.

_Okay, I've had it._ I noticed a change in Alice's train of thought, although I was still absorbed in the feeling of ... wrongfulness.

Then I felt myself suddenly flying through the air and I could just stop myself from crashing into a tree, despite the fact that the tree would have been damaged more than me – much more.

'Bro, you scared me there for a second - I thought you were having a heart attack.' Emmett bellowed and laughed a loud laugh.

'Very funny.' I muttered irritated and was standing next to Alice again within half a second.

_So, why _did_ you stop?_ Alice wondered and quickly searched through her visions, finding no answers from my side.

'I don't know.' I said, shrugging my shoulders and giving her an apologetic smile.

'Whatever.' She said, heaps of irritation still present in her voice. _You're going to tell me though, or else I'll make you._

Emmett took of running again and Alice and I followed. He was thinking about our 'meal' and was considering turning back to get another serial rapist, or someone of that kind, before returning home.

I just sighed and laughed at his thoughts, not knowing how to respond otherwise to his careless thoughts of human lives.

That night, after we had gotten home I instantly sat at my piano and started composing a song that had been working its way into my head since I had suddenly stopped running.

I couldn't concentrate on the song though, the feeling of "wrongfulness" was still very aware in the pit of my stomach. Every time I played off-key – because of my lack of concentration – Emmett almost fell off his chair laughing

I was starting to get worried myself by then, was I loosing my mind?

I was just about to ask Alice about if she saw me going crazy anytime soon – just making sure, when I heard her thoughts. _Yes, you most certainly are._ Alice giggled out loud and sat next to me on the little bench in front of my piano.

'Although the term "losing my mind" may be a bit too late in your case, "lost my mind" would get clo-'

I didn't even let her finish her sentence and jumped off the bench to throw it - with Alice still on it - in the air.

Alice yelled 'Whoopee!' and landed gracefully on her tiptoes - making sure her heels didn't break.

Full of Alice's little jokes and Emmett's laughter, I raced out the house. Ignoring Esmee's little rant directed to Emmett about not teasing me because of my sudden worried state of mind, instead I focused on running. It was sweet of Esmee, but Emmett definitely wouldn't stop laughing now when I returned.

The run felt good: the wind in my hair, the speed and the rush I felt whenever I ran, made me want to run nonstop.

After a few seconds of seeing the trees fly by, though still being able to count each rib on every single leaf, I reached the Main Road.

It was absolutely vacant of any cars or humans – which wasn't very odd, given that it was 3 o'clock at night.

Forks, Washington, didn't seem to attract that many humans, although my family and I had found it perfect.

It was a small and unobtrusive town, with only Seattle in the "vicinity". The best thing was that Forks was one of the most cloudy and rainy cities in the United States and with us being vampires that ought to come in handy.

I slowly crossed the street and walked across the sidewalk. Listening to people's dreams and the sounds of the night.

Some humans actually had some very interesting dreams, some had disturbing ones and some...perverted dreams - I quickly moved on to others from those kinds of dreams.

Suddenly I heard a faint noise, someone was crying. I quickly made my way to where the sound came from.

In one of the rooms upstairs, the bedrooms no doubt, someone was crying, a woman, or rather a girl, I guessed listening more intently to the sound.

I climbed up the tree "next" to the window and stared at the room.

The room was messy, with piles of books and an ancient computer that shouldn't even deserve to work by now. In the middle of the room there was a small bed and on that bed laid a crying girl.

She was rolled in a tight ball with her hands holding her legs and her back directed to me.

Usually, I didn't really care about the feelings of humans, but this was heart wrenching.

_I can't help her though_, I realized sadly.

_Wait, maybe I can! _I suddenly thought, joyous.

I went to sit on the bench next to the sidewalk, which was bout 6 feet from _her_ house.

Then I waited - she had to look out the window at one point, she wouldn't just lie there all night and cry...right?

After almost two hours of waiting for her to stop crying, waiting for her to _move_. I heard the smallest of sounds - I'd been listening so intently I'd actually heard her pants folding back out when she removed her hands from her legs.

Why I was suddenly paying so much attention to an insignificant little girl, I didn't know. Maybe I was just bored, but I seemed more intrigued than bored.

She finally got out of her bed and slowly walked to her window. She did exactly what I had expected and wanted her to do - exactly what I would do.

'Who's..' she trailed off and I heard her stumble around in her bedroom.

She slowly made her way down a flight of stairs and I heard her unlock the deadbolt.

After that she quietly opened the door to peek at me, I guessed. Humans were always so curious - until it became dangerous.

Something suddenly dawned on me, _I'm not helping her_, I'd only make her feel uncomfortable if she were to sit next to me.

I sighed and was about to get up and when she spoke in a soft, but definitely not scared, voice. 'Hello?' She said, framing the greeting as a question.

I turned around with a slight smile on my lips. 'Hello. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.' I reassured her, trying to prove I wasn't some psycho.

'You didn't,' she said in an honest tone. Then she proceeded to walk to the bench and I froze. Didn't she sense the danger that was I? Wasn't she scared at all, didn't she have any thoughts?

I realized that she either didn't think, which was highly unlikely, or I couldn't read her mind.

Unfortunately, miserably, horribly irritatingly, it was the latter. I was shocked, this had never happened to me before. She was a mental-mute to me!

She stood next to the bench for a few seconds, waiting for me to say something.

'Sit, please.' I said, trying to be casual.

She smiled and went to sit with her face pointed in my direction. _Nothing? _I thought, when I still didn't hear her thoughts. I could clearly hear her heart though and it was working in overtime.

'So, what are you doing up this late?'

I chuckled; she was up too wasn't she? 'For the same reason you are, I guess. Can't sleep.'

Her face fell and I saw that she didn't exactly agree with me. 'Perhaps not the same reason.' I corrected, looking into her wide, brown and bloodshot eyes. She'd really cried a lot.

She averted her face from me, looking down at the sidewalk and I watched her shiver slightly from the cold temperature.

'Don't you like Forks?' I asked, disbelief in my tone, she probably wouldn't like Forks for the same reasons my family and I did though.

She pursed her lips. 'It's fine, Forks is fine.' Her answer seemed automatic, as if she didn't allow herself to express her true feelings about this place.

That confused me and therefore, intrigued me. 'Why have you been crying then?' I asked directly.

She looked incredulously towards me for a second, before opening her mouth and closing it again.

'I haven't,' she started, I should have expected her to deny weakness – she had already done that on her "thoughts about Forks". 'I was crying, not because I miss home, or my mom – which I do –, but because I thought I had maybe made a mistake.' Her intonation at the last part of her explanation seemed off, like she wasn't sure if the decision was still wrong right now.

I was staring into her eyes, trying to figure out what she was thinking – how impolite – and her heart picked up speed even more. Worry was creeping into my mind, I was making her anxious – she should be, I was a vampire.

She glanced down at my watch and her eyes widened. 'I should go inside.' She stated, nervousness and irritation creeping into her voice, and stood.

'Yes, well, it was nice talking to you.' Casual endings were necessary when dealing with humans, as not to raise any more suspicion.

Our skin color, still nature and the fact that humans got frightened from just looking at us made a few "aware" humans raise their eyebrows.

Thank God we had found something to cover up our eyes with almost permanently, nobody got close enough to us to notice.

At first the lenses we tried to use to cover up the blood red color of our irises dissipated after about two hours. After some long searching we'd found lenses that we could wear for almost a full week - give or take a day. It still didn't make them less irritating though, I could see every scratch in the fabric of the lenses and they blurred my perfect eyesight a bit.

She pulled her eyebrows together and bit her lip. 'Would you, perhaps, like to come in?' She asked embarrassed.

I had to máke my mouth close; she invited a stranger in, in the middle of the night? She invited _me_ inside in the middle of the night! Me! Didn't she sense the danger?

Then, at the most inconvenient time, I - unconsciously - decided to take a deep breath, I secretly wanted to know what she smelled like. The wind was blowing in the wrong direction, so, I needed to take in a breath to be able to smell her.

At that precise moment, the wind blew strongly in my direction and carried with it _her_ smell.

She smelled delicious. It was the most tantalizing scent I had ever smelled. My mouth watered and I felt the venom flow freely into my mouth - my whole being going into hunting mode. I thought of every single way of how to kill her and how to salvage as much of this delectable fluid. Another, slightly more conscious part of my brain thought about ways of how to make her unable to scream.

As if she _finally_ sensed the danger, she bid me goodbye. 'It's really late, I'm sorry; I should try to get some sleep before school.' Her voice was sad, because of some reason I didn't understand.

I heard the wood from the bench cracking under my grip as I watched her walk inside and take a peek at me one last time, before closing the door with a sigh.

I sat there for a while, trying to calm myself.

And then I started running. Running quickly away from that tantalizing scent, before I decided to turn back and kill her anyway.

_Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle! _I screamed in my mind.

'Edward, why did you...Edward?' Alice asked confused, when I entered the house. She then saw multiple possibilities of my future and grimaced at one of me leaving.

'Carlisle!' I wailed, terrified. The venom was still very present in my mouth.

'Edward? What's wrong, son?' Carlisle asked, also worried now.

'I almost killed a human.' I said and realized that wasn't a good enough explanation of my problem. 'I almost killed somebody from Forks, a perfectly normal non-harmful girl.'

'Why?' Carlisle asked, thrown aback by my sudden almost-failure in our oath not to kill a human from the town we lived in, nor to kill anyone who was innocent. Oath? It was more our way of life.

We didn't think it was wrong to kill humans, well, some of us didn't and some thought it was wrong but did it begrudgingly. Therefore we thought of a way to make everyone feel better and dó better, we only hunted criminals, bad guys and plain wrong humans.

It still didn't seem good, but it was better than just killing random humans.

'Carlisle, her scent...' I trailed off and tried to focus. 'Emmett! It was like with you and that woman from the farm, but then times ten!'

Carlisle's mouth opened slowly and he put his hand on my shoulder. 'I'm glad that you didn't kill her.'

_He's glad?_ He was glad! How could he possibly be happy? I had just smelled the most delicious scent in existence and I...well, perhaps there was a reason to be happy. I hadn't killed the girl and I wás glad that I hadn't killed her, not because I hadn't broken my "oath", but because I realized I didn't want to hurt her ... She seemed important, special.

'Of course we'll deal with this problem though, we can move...or...'

I was shocked, he just decided I wouldn't be able to take it - maybe I wouldn't, but I wanted to know...or was there something else?

I searched my mind for clues for the reason why the girl mattered to me - I didn't even know her name!

'No.' _I_ decided. 'We aren't moving, we aren't killing her, we aren't doing anything.

We will go to school tomorrow and act like absolutely nothing has happened.'

Emmett rolled his eyes. _Whatever, why did you tell us then?_ I was beginning to wonder the same thing.


	2. Chapter 1: Wrongfulness Part 2

_Each chapter is going to be divided in parts. 1st because I want long & good chapters (just like Stephenie) and 2d because I want to be able to post something for you guys almost every day!:D_

Throughout the next 4 hours my mind was a mess. I didn't have myself under control anymore.

My mind was jumping from the girl's scent to my bloodlust and sometimes, just for a second, to the girl herself. What was wrong with me?

The scent was a problem, that was certainly true, but I was confident that I could withhold myself from drinking _her_ blood. I would have to, or otherwise I'd be putting my family in danger and I certainly didn't want to do that.

_Edward, get yourself in check already, please!_ Jasper yelled mentally at me from downstairs, as I was considering, for yet another time, to run away, before crushing down in anguish again for some unknown reason.

Why was I so bound on staying – Forks wasn't that special…

My hands gripped the gold fur cover that I was laying on and I groaned out loud at the complexity of things – it couldn't get any worse. _No! _I shouldn't be thinking that, for that would most certainly come back to haunt me later.

I wished for the possibility to get sick when I watched the sun come up in the morning and realized I'd have to go to school – where I'd see _the girl_. It wouldn't be too much of an issue though, I would just have to avoid her a little bit, but for yet another unknown reason my body tensed at the idea of avoiding her.

I was just arrogant and I didn't want to avoid her to prove to my family that I could handle her scent – at least, that's what I was convincing myself of.

But _she_ wouldn't be interested in me anyway, well, maybe she would be, but purely in a typically human way. The way I thought was disgusting and fairly rude; Jessica Stanley for example – a typical human teenage girl from Forks High school – had thought "_He's so fine, I just want to…_" and some other more "detailed" thoughts when I had passed her.

I tried to ignore the voices in my head as much as possible when I was at school, but it was nearly impossible when they were shouting at me at the top of their mental lungs.

Emmett drove to school that morning, he was thinking about the National Anthem of Holland when I got in his car – as not to think of why _he_ was driving this morning. _It wouldn't be "smart"_, Esmee had thought and whispered to Emmett, hoping I hadn't heard.

The drive was short and I decided to stick my head out the window – hoping the wind would maybe clear my head.

A few seconds after I had gotten out of the huge Jeep, I heard a soft noise.

When the noise came closer, I could hear what it was: a truck, but not just any truck; a very old, very _loud_ and very slow truck.

As I watched the truck pull up to the school parking lot I saw _her_. Of course she would be in that hideous and obnoxious "car".

After she had made sure that her truck was parked perfectly within the white lines, which took her four attempts, she slowly got out of the truck – she looked as if she were afraid to fall.

_Damn, so that's the new girl_, a very rude boy thought on the other side of the parking lot, opposite to me.

I would never even dare to think about a lady that way!

She shook her hair and draped it over her right shoulder with her free hand; with the other hand she held a pile of books against her petite self.

She groaned when 3 of the 7 books fell on the ground. I couldn't stop laughing at the look on her face though and tried to turn my outburst of laughter into a sudden, very loud coughing fit.

She bent down to grab her books, but before she had actually reached the remaining books also fell to the ground – making her expression screw together in anger. I laughed even louder at that, her face looked like an angry kitten!

Suddenly she cocked her head up and I ran into the school, she didn't have the slightest chance of seeing me.

I slowly walked to my locker, in a more human pace and fidgeted with my shirt on purpose, trying to blend in. After I had grabbed my books, I pretended to check where I should go, I knew though: Biology. _Fun_, I muttered silently.

After a few steps I realized multiple students were gazing at me – I wasn't that strange, was I? I laughed. _Of course I am!_

I went to sit in my seat, next to the window in the second row: the high bar stools, behind the "kitchen sink like tables".

'You can sit there,' I heard Mr. Banner say to someone quietly and saw in my peripheral vision that he was pointing in my direction. 'in that empty seat.'

All my hopes of making it through the day plummeted through the ground at that moment.

_Keep yourself together. I can do this. _I chanted, to keep myself from running from the classroom. I stopped breathing.

_She_ scraped her chair across the floor and sat on it, dropping her books on the table in front of us. After a few seconds, I noticed she was staring at me and I glanced sideways – still not breathing.

She blushed when she saw that I had seen her staring at me.

I turned around in my seat and faced her; whether it was now or later, I was going tot have to face her and I decided that now was better. 'Hello,' I said casually. 'I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last night, I'm Edward Cullen.'

She smiled and blushed.

Instantly, I froze. Her blush was sending waves of heat towards me and I could only imagine how it must have been strengthening her scent in the air. Her veins were very "visible" to me, as I sáw how her heart was pumping the blood to her brain and the rest of her body more quickly. I could also clearly héár her heart working in overtime and I smiled a little. 'You must be Bella Swan.'

She frowned and asked the one thing I didn't see coming. 'How do you know my name?'

_Mistake_, everybody called her Isabella, only to be corrected by her _afterwards_. I wasn't supposed to know that, but I did. 'Everybody knows your name.' I smiled, acting like I didn't know what she meant.

She looked like she wanted to slap herself for asking a stupid question, but shrugged. 'I guess so, but everybody calls me Isabella, I think my father's been secretly calling me that behind my back.'

She was right, Chief Swan had told absolutely everyone in the small town about the arrival of his daughter: Isabella.

I laughed at her irritation and realized I was out of air, so I breathed in – making sure I wasn't breathing in through my nose. The scent wasn't any less appealing because of my precaution though and I slowly became conscious to the fact the I was leaning towards her – ready to strike and kill…

I quickly pulled away, hoping she'd distract me; I'd give her a head start. 'So, where were we last night?'

She blushed again and I didn't only feel her warmth this time, but I could also smell it in the air. It was delicious.

_This part was short, I know! Next one will be longer:) Loved the introduction though!_

_review:D:D_


	3. Chapter 1: Wrongfulness Part 3

_I was really excited to write this last part of chapter 1._

_Already started on chapter 2, going to post a big one tomorrow night. Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday! Well, can't post something everyday right?(A)_

* * *

I pulled back again, swiftly shaking my head in the smallest way – hoping she wouldn't notice.

'Did you decide?' I suddenly blurted out, anxious to know her answer.

She pulled one eyebrow up and bit her lip, it looked very soft – _why does it matter?_ 'On whether you had made a mistake or not.' I added.

She tensed and her eyes became saddened and she looked down.

I was just about to ask her what she was thinking - I couldn't stánd it anymore! – when she looked into my eyes again.

I had always thought that brown was very…dull and uninteresting, but I couldn't deny that Bella's eyes were beautiful and seemed to sparkle.

Then the tension suddenly left her body for some reason, while she was staring at me, and the corners of her lips turned up. 'I haven't made that decision quite yet.' She told me with a wicked glint in her eyes, just before she looked like she had caught herself with her hand in the cookie-jar.

I chuckled at that. 'Did you get some sleep at least?'

She nodded, but she seemed to tense again and she looked slightly to her left – to the front of the classroom; where Mr. Banner had just asked me a question.

_Stages…mitosis…I'm waiting.._ Mr. Banner thought impatiently.

'Prophase, Prometaphase, Metaphase, Anaphase and Telophase,' I answered unwillingly, sending Mr. Banner an unintentional glare. He tried to shrug it off, but shivered and turned back to the blackboard.

Bella remained silent and was still looking towards Mr. Banner.

'So,' I began, gaining her attention immediately. 'I assume you've made lots of new friends.' I almost laughed at myself.

She seemed to consider that question for a while, before answering me in a very careful tone. 'I guess so.'

_I guess so? _Everybody seemed thrilled to have a 'new girl' in Forks, especially the males; would she rather be a loner, or didn't she know how to handle all the attention; did she like the attention; did she enjoy being 'accepted' into the group that easily? All humans usually craved attention and were desperate to fit in, particularly to fit in with the 'cool crowd'. She could be no exception.

'I don't really like all the attention; I'm getting more self-conscious with every passing minute.' She was dead serious when she spoke and I cocked my head questioningly to the side.

She turned back to doodle on her notebook when I didn't ask anything.

'When did you move here? I come here almost every winter and I've never seen you before.' She asked unexpectedly, still staring at her notebook.

'This summer,' I answered dully. 'my mom wanted to move somewhere…peaceful and she thought this to be perfect for us.'

She returned her eyes to mine and raised her eyebrow again. 'Do _you_ like it here?' Her intonation of the word _you_, clearly indicated that she hádn't told me the truth before – which had been obvious – on her thoughts about Forks.

Bella smiled at me suddenly and I responded in an impulse. 'Yes, very much.' _Where did _that_ come from?_ I thought, puzzled as to why I answered with that tone: happiness. Did I really like Forks thát much?

'I suppose Forks has its positive sides.' She murmured and averted her eyes, blushing scarlet.

Then, just when I opened my mouth to ask her another question, the bell rang. This wasn't exactly a "saved by the bell" moment; it was rather a "ruined by the bell" moment. _Há!_ I laughed at myself for thinking that we'd had a _moment_.

Bella rose from her seat and gathered her books in her arms again. I wanted to offer her to let me carry her books, even though I didn't have a clue why.

Bella almost ran out the classroom, still blushing scarlet, and I could almost taste her blush in the air. _Stop_. I commanded, not letting my desire for her blood get out of hand.

The next two hours before the lunch break were irritating, I kept thinking about Bella's exit from the classroom. She had been probably been frightened of me and wanted to get away as fast as she could. _She didn't seem frightened during our conversation_, my less sensible side thought, trying to convince me she wasn't afraid of me. But of course she was afraid – as she should be! I was a vampire, she was human, end of story. Although…

And that's how my two hours continued: mulling over unimportant things. I should be mulling over why it seemed so important to me that she was or wasn't afraid.

_You're not having lunch with us, are you?_ Alice assumed disappointed. I shook my head. 'Sorry, I will again tomorrow. I need a moment to myself, sorry.'

As I walked out the school doors and crossed the parking lot, I decided to take a stroll in the forest.

Esmee had been right, the peace was good and I let my worried mind take a break.

My enhanced hearing picked something up from about 20 meters away from me. I climbed up the little hill and I spotted someone, of course it had to be Bella.

She was stumbling her way between rocks, trees and plants. There was a huge, but quite flat, boulder up ahead, which she seemed to want to get to.

Just before she reached the boulder, she caught her foot on a bush and she fell. 'Outch.' She mumbled, irritation and also minor pain present.

'Bella?' I said and without noticing it myself I had moved the 20 meters to Bella. 'Are you okay? I saw you fall.'

'I'm fine!' She said, waving me away with her hands, while she tried to get up. I reached for her automatically and grabbed her hand.

She was as warm and soft as I had imagined. Her eyes became larger for a moment and that called me back to reality. I quickly pulled her up, making sure I was being careful, and let go as soon as she was standing straight. She wobbled slightly and she blinked several times, before she blushed. 'Thanks. I'm kind of clumsy and taking a stroll in the forest probably wasn't the best idea.'

'No,' I reprimanded. 'you're all right. It's just slippery.'

She considered that, but seemed to find it incredibly amusing. 'No, I still think it's me being clumsy.' We both laughed at that.

She sat down on the boulder and smiled at me, it looked like she wanted me to come sit with her. 'You like eating alone?' I asked, hoping she'd say no.

'No, but Mike had to go to the principal and Jessica's stalking Mike.' She thought she was making a joke, but Jessica was véry close to "stalking Mike".

'Oh,' I muttered and went to sit beside her. Her heart fluttered at my closeness – was it fear? 'would you mind if I joined you then?'

'No.' She answered immediately and I grinned widely in response.

So, maybe I couldn't deny that I had taking a liking to the girl, but I should keep it at that…_just say goodbye_, I told myself.

She shivered and the corners of my lips turned down immediately. I couldn't help her get warm. Well, I had clothing… I pulled my sweater off and wrapped it around her shoulders before she could refuse.

She looked up at me and blushed again, more fiercely this time. 'You're going to freeze.' She told me, reaching out.

I pulled back quickly and smiled tentatively. 'I'm fine, I'm fine.'

'Your hand was as cold as ice.' She responded, seeming reluctant to use this as an argument.

Yes, my hand is as cold as ice. My whole body is as cold as ice. I knew that dreadfully well and I hated it.

Bella seemed to notice my sudden unwillingness to respond to that remark and swiftly tried, unsubtly, to breach another subject. 'You were quizzing me in Biology, do you want to continue with that, or..?'

I laughed at her words and realized it really must have seemed like I hád been quizzing her. 'If you don't mind.' I joked, but Bella responded in a serious manner. 'No, go ahead.'

'What did you think you had done wrong, what were you doubting? What mistake?' The questions spilled out of me and if I had been able to blush, I would have.

She thought a long time about my questions. 'My mother's remarried, which is great, but she wanted to spend more time with her new husband, Phil, I just knew that. So I decided that it maybe was for the best if I left, at least for a little while, but then that "little while" became "until I've finished High School" and I honestly don't know if I can handle that.' She blushed at herself, she was open and I was astonished by her answer.

She had given up her life in, wherever she used to live, for a life in Forks, of all places, for her somebody else! Self-sacrifice wasn't something that humans would normally do and this wasn't just something, she was sacrificing her whole life.

'I hope you can.' I admitted, being completely honest.

She turned her gaze to the plant life and trees around us, avoiding _my_ gaze.

'Where did you live then?' I asked, curious.

'Phoenix.' She answered, like it didn't matter anymore.

The bell rang and I wanted to shout at Mrs. Cope for pushing that button.

'What do you have now?' I asked her, hoping – or was it praying – that she'd have the same as me.

She dug with her right hand in her jeans' left pocket, _how very logical_, and smiled shyly. 'English. You?' Did I imagine her tone, or did she hope that I had English too?

'English.' I answered, beaming.

* * *

_Just so you know, because when I read this part again myself, I noticed that you can take this cliffhanger (hehehe) in a wrong way, sooo:_

_"No, Bella & Edward aren't 'in love' yet, but maybe they've got feelings...? You'll see in the next chapter...maybe? I donno:O:O:O_

_you just keep guessing haha_


	4. Chapter 2: Of course Part 1

_Loved writing this chapter, I have to hold myself back from letting Eddie-boy fall in love with Bella too quickly, but this is going to slow things down. _

_The story will follow Twilight for a bit now, but just for a VERY LITTLE while...anyway.._

_enjoy_

* * *

**Of course**

I walked beside Bella to English and saw her take a wrong turn after wrong turn. Each time I even dared to let the corners of my lips turn up, she looked like she wanted to slap me, which caused me to almost fall to the ground from laughter again.

When we reached a classroom at the end of the hall, Bella almost entered it, not noticing I had taken a left turn and was walking straight on. I looked over my shoulder and took in a breath – necessary for my words, sadly. My control almost snapped as I smelled Bella's delicious scent once again, it didn't smell any less appealing. _Get a grip_, I told myself firmly, and clenched my teeth. 'Bella, this way.' I pointed ahead of me, towards the classroom at the end. 'If you'd like, you can also join that group of seniors in their Chemistry class.' I joked and stood still, waiting for her to come to stand next to me again.

_Edward?_ I heard Alice call in her mind. _I saw you killing Bella in a vision, before it disappeared again after about two seconds. Should I be worried?_ She wasn't only concerned about our safety or keeping our secret, she seemed...concerned about Bella. From Alice's point of view I could see she was already sitting in her classroom, so I couldn't signal her. 'No.' I whispered, knowing Alice would hear me.

Bella smiled, with a teasing edge to it, and walked up to me. The flood of warmth, emanating from her body, washed over me and I had to blink to keep myself from staring at her.

She was beautiful.

_KEEP YOUR DISTANCE! SHE'S HUMAN!_ I nearly shouted at myself.

_I'm also seeing some other things, but I thought you might not want to_-. I tried to shut her out, I knew what she had seen and didn't need to be told again.

English was pleasant, but at the same time pure torture.

I continued my interrogation and Bella answered, more elaborate now. I asked on about Phoenix, her mother, Phil, her dad and her hobbies. When I was about to start questioning her about her former other relatives, the wretched bell rang.

Bella also seemed disappointed and this elated me. 'You probably don't have Gym now, do you?' Again, her disappointment sent a thrill through my spine.

_STOP IT!_ I shouted at myself once more, _she is human…and good…and caring…and perfect._ What was I doing?

I shook it off, dispatching my thoughts as a mix-up between my feelings and my "feelings" for her blood. 'No, today's a short day for me.' I answered her, absent, already thinking about the "whats and whys" for my actions regarding Bella.

The term "short day" was false though; I was just skipping, as I never got detention and when I did, I just didn't show up.

She nodded and bit her lip.

'Will you be here tomorrow?' She asked blushing fiercely.

I nodded, glad that she wanted me to be.

'See you tomorrow then.' She walked off quickly, but dropped her books on the way and had to pick them up, before striding off again.

I dropped my car keys through the slit in Alice's locker and went for a run.

The run made me feel like I was flying and I had to force myself to stop. I went to sit on a fallen tree to think.

I thought about those words the whole afternoon, while I watched the sky turn different shades of blue, before it turned orange and red and finally deep dark blue.

_She wants to see me tomorrow. Does she like me? _Those were some of my _good_ thoughts.

_I made her like me, oh, no. She's human, you stupid bastard! You can't be her friend…_ The word friend didn't sound good in my head and that set off a whole new round of thoughts.

Did I like Isabella Swan? Yes. That wasn't súch a huge problem though, I convinced myself – I could handle being friends with a human. With that decision I returned home: I was going to try to be somewhat of a friend to Bella; I couldn't get really close however, I'd just be "some friend". _ If she even likes you enough for that!_ _She probably won't even want to talk to you tomorrow_. Would she realize over night that she was or should be afraid of me? It didn't seem like it today, but maybe she would – that thought tormented me for the rest of the afternoon and night.

The next morning I was both excited and terrified to go to school. The question whether Bella would still like me today lingered in my mind and I wanted to know as fast as possible.

There was a small sheet of snow covering the trees and parts of the ground, while the roads and pavements seemed to be covered with a layer of ice.

_Many, many, many accidents today_. Alice thought saddened.

Not even I could drive fast now and I knew Alice was going to be right.

When we reached school, I went to stand next to my car for a minute – waiting to see if Bella would show up.

I could hear her old truck from miles away and I laughed, it was só loud!

Bella got out of her truck and saw me standing next to my car, I didn't bother to run away before she saw me; she _should_ notice me, I thought devilish. She slipped immediately on the ice and I couldn't hold back my laughter.

Alice was standing a few feet away, waiting for me to come along with her to our first class, when her eyes grew almost twice in size. _NO!_ She screamed internally, just before I heard the screeching of tires against the ice and asphalt.

My mouth opened and my eyes displayed my horror filled mind. _NO! _I repeated Alice's thoughts and stared straight into Bella's horror-struck face. Without consciously making the decision, I ran to Bella.

I was much faster than the van that skidded across the ice, straight towards Bella. _Of course_.

She was still sitting on the ground, when I slid to a stop next to her, her eyes wide-open and her hands balled up into fists.

Then the van reached us.


	5. Chapter 2: Of course Part 2

I had never imagined that I'd behave this reckless to save a human, but Bella wasn't _just a human_, she was more.

The thought of Bella being hurt in any way stung me.

I wrapped my left arm around her frail figure, feeling her warm me immediately – right through my clothes. I held my right hand splayed out towards the van.

The human in the van made some futile attempts to get the van to stop, but it crashed right into my hand anyway. After a loud noise from the metal bending and the glass breaking the van lost some of its speed, but still raced towards Bella.

She seemed to be attracting that van, willing it to hit her, although her eyes certainly said something else. Her heart was going to leap out of her chest if it were to beat any faster.

I groaned, but successfully held back a growl. The front of the van now slid sideways towards Bella and it was inevitably going to hit her. Swiftly I whirled around, accidentally bumping her head against the ground. She made the slightest face, before her shocked expression returned again.

I lifted the van from the ground with one hand and pushed it away, while also making sure the back of the van didn't turn towards us in the process, using my leg to push the back away.

Slowly the van skidded to a stop.

I traced Bella's scalp with my fingers, feeling for external bleedings – there weren't any. I sighed, but remained worried. 'Bella, are you okay?' I asked immediately.

She didn't respond, but just stared at me in horror. I had scared her more than I'd thought apparently. 'Bella?'

She remained unresponsive and my anxiety was clearly audible in my voice when I spoke. 'Bella, please say something.' I shook her, as soft as possible.

She blinked two times and opened her mouth to form an "outch" on her lips.

I laughed at that.

'Edward? How did yo-' She broke off midsentence and her eyes rolled slightly around in their sockets.

Then the students started gathering around us and I heard them talking about calling the emergency services. I also heard something else in the background: 'You stupid mutt.' Rosalie muttered.

I sighed and returned my attention to Bella. 'Did I hurt you? Bella, where does it hurt?' My questions came and came, but I knew I should be thinking about the repercussions of my actions. Bella had seen me standing on the other side of the parking lot. She knew I couldn't have moved such a distance in such a short amount of time….if I were human that is. She had seen me lift the van and push it away.

She had seen me.  
And with all my heart I wished she hadn't.

Swiftly, without anyone noticing him, I saw Emmett walk by and smooth out my handprint in the van's body.

'I solved that problem, now you solve yours.' He whispered.

In the background I heard the sound an ambulance arriving and students urging them to get to us as fast as possible, but all I really heard was Bella's breathing and heartbeat. She was still staring into my eyes with the aftershock lingering on her face.

She _finally_ spoke when I was just about to scream in agony – I had damaged her. 'You didn't hurt me. You saved me!' Her voice sounded strained and confused, before she suddenly seemed to remember something. 'How did you get over here so fast?'

I couldn't care less about her having seen me do the things I had done; Bella was all right and that was all that mattered at that moment.

The paramedic was standing next to me then and asked me some things about Bella, which I answered without thinking about it – advising him to take a look at her head. 'She hit her head pretty hard.'

The paramedic strapped a brace around her neck and they helped her into the ambulance. I told them I'd suffered no injury or anything in that area, but I wanted to come with Bella anyway.

'Should we call your dad, hun?' The paramedic asked Bella, while she checked her blood pressure; I could have told her exactly what it was, but that probably would have scared her and Bella _a little bit_.

'No!' She told her strictly. 'I'll tell him tonight at dinner, nothing's happened, so there shouldn't be made a big deal out of it.'

The paramedic frowned and decided to go for a second try. 'But he'll hear anyway, you know how it works around here, sweety.' Bella frowned now too and I was instantly anxious, but it seemed it wasn't because of any pain, but because the paramedic irritated her. 'And we don't know if nothing's happened.'

Bella's eyes grew large. 'Excuse me? I can speak; move my legs, arms, fingers and anything; I can still remember EVERYTHING; so what exactly is there _wrong_ with me?' She snapped.

_I guess she _really_ doesn't want her dad to think anything of it, _the woman driving the car thought a little stunned.

When we arrived at the hospital, I notified Carlisle to come immediately. 'Carlisle, help, now!' I whispered urgently and prayed he wasn't too busy – I could tell Bella was just fine though.

Carlisle was already standing in the emergency room though, helping another patient, and I released a sigh of relief.

The nurse who had taken Bella over from the paramedics had directed Bella a white hospital bed in one of the corners of the room.

In the other end of the room, a girl was crying over a head-injury and some other people were keeping their mouth shut, but were also in quite some pain.

_Why won't the doctor come already?  
Any longer and this leg will be healed! If nobody's going to check on my little girl, I'm going to…_  
_We just can't have a day without the hospital, can't we.  
Daddy said it would be okay..  
It hurts, where is mommy, it hurts, it hurts!_

I shut them all out and concentrated on Bella again.

The chair I was sitting in was next to Bella's bed and she was on her side, facing away from me. I sighed as I watched her disposed neck, as she had taken the brace of as soon as the nurse had left to get Carlisle.

'Bella Swan.' He read from the chart. 'You survived an – almost – car accident, I heard.'

'Yes, I did. Can I go now?' Bella asked, not very surprisingly.

Carlisle almost laughed, but he was suspicious as to why I was here.

Then Bella caught on to something and stared at the card on Carlisle's uniform and then she turned to stare me straight in my eyes. The "Oh. My. God." was almost written on her forehead.

'I think you can, but, you need to go eat something and drink some water. You could be in shock – just a little.' He added the last part to not get her started on the "I'm fine" pretense again.

She smiled and jumped from the bed, swaying when she landed. I flew forward, but Carlisle was faster than me and steadied her, while watching me with a suspicious look on his face. _You saved her?_ I nodded. _Good_. He smiled and thought happily about what a great son he thought me to be – all nonsense. _But she also saw you, didn't she?_ I nodded again and sighed. _We will talk about it at home, try to keep her quiet for now somehow._

That worried me, Carlisle normally wasn't a violent person, but I sensed something in him now that was edging towards….I couldn't even think it!

Bella thanked Carlisle and stalked forward, seeming to forget that she didn't have transportation.

'Bella!' I called out and she turned immediately. She stepped forward and we were now standing about two centimeters apart.

'What is going on Edward? How did you get over to me so fast? How did you…lift that van?' Her eyes were narrow slits and her heartbeat was very fast.

Her breath was intoxicating and was driving me completely insane. Her deep brown eyes were boring into mine and I didn't know how to answer her without having to lie – and I didn't want to lie.

'You hit your head.' That wasn't a lie.

'Are you trying to say I'm losing my mind or something? Because I know I'm not! I sáw you.' Just as I thought, she wouldn't let the subject go.

'Bella,' I decided to try pleading. 'please listen to me. You don't want to know – just let it go, for me.'

She blinked at that and shook her head slightly, as if she was clearing it. 'I _want_ to know what's going on, Edward.' Even when she said my name in an, to her idea, angry manner, I couldn't hold back a shiver.

_Maybe if I try seducing. As if I can seduce Bella!_ I had to try nonetheless.  
I stared deep into her eyes and used the most seductive tone I could muster. 'Bella, just forget what happened. Please.' I ended up sounding like I was begging her.

'You can't just expect that of me.  
I promise I won't tell anyone.'

She asked me to trust her and I wanted to so badly, but I couldn't. She wouldn't keep this to herself when she knew it, nobody would. 'No, I'm sorry, I can't.'

She looked down at the floor and she balled her hands into little fists.

'Can I drive you home?' I offered. There was no need for her to hate me because of this. I couldn't stand it if she were to hate me.

She stared into my eyes again and nodded, but there was a hidden reason in her eyes, the reason she was accepting my offer – she probably thought I was going to let her in on how I got to her so fast and how I lifted a van.

She walked beside me when we exited the hospital and I looked for Carlisle's car. I always took the spare key with me, you never knew. Her eyes widened at the sight of the black Mercedes and I opened the door for her – she rolled her eyes. Did she question that I was a gentleman?

I walked around the car in a human pace and got in the driver's seat.

Bella was silent while I drove her home and didn't look at me. No, she pretended not to look at me, but she peeked at me a few times during the short drive.

'Edward? Can I ask you one thing? And will you promise to answer it with the truth?' Bella asked after she had stepped out of the car.

Would I be able to answer her? _Nobody will believe her, she just hit her head,_ I convinced myself, since I didn't want to lie to her nor not answer her.  
I shóúld lie to her though; I should lie or not answer her at all; I shouldn't have saved her. _No!_ Saving her was the only good thing I had done being in my whole existence!

I nodded.

She smiled slightly, but was hesitant. 'You're not human, are you?'

I shook my head with a grudge.

'Ok.' She answered, like she was expecting that.

Bella closed the door and turned around to walk into her house.

_Oh, no._ What had I done? I had let a human in on the one secret I was supposed to keep at all costs.

It felt great that I had told her somehow though…and I didn't regret it.


	6. Chapter 2: Of course Part 3

_I am loving what's happening in this chapter! I hated the part in the books, but the parts I love are still returning._

_We're very close to something big happening, what will it be? I know, I know! Pick me, pick me!_

* * *

Driving away from Bella's house, I couldn't keep my attention to the road at all.

How had I dared to let Bella in on the _only thing_ I needed to keep a secret? How had I allowed myself to put my family in danger over this girl? _No. _She wasn't just a _girl_. She was Bella.

That was precisely my problem though.  
Did I want to have a fight – which was góing to happen now – with my family because of this?

I knew the answer immediately: for Bella, yes.

That also was a problem….why did I care so much for her? Too much.

_Edward, just so you know: I've got your back. _Alice thought happily. Happy was an understatement; she was radiant with glee.

Jasper wasn't thinking anything néár I thought he was thinking. _Alice doesn't want me to kill her. Alice, just do it for Alice._

Emmett was playing a videogame and Rosalie was yelling so loud internally I couldn't make out actual words – let alone sentences.

Esmee was trying not to choose sides, but she wasn't fooling me: she choose my side.

Then Carlisle's thoughts hit me like a wrecking ball, it was the last thing I was expecting. _…best for my family, then maybe we should…end her._

Had Carlisle just thought about killing Bella?

'Carlisle!' I screamed as I ran inside the house and he was instantly standing in the hallway. 'How dare you even think it? How could you do this to me!'

He sighed and dropped his head. 'I know. It goes against every moral and rule I have, but I can't let my family be in danger.'

I felt the anger building up in me and I tried to hold myself back as I felt a low rumble go through my chest. 'I won't let you hurt her.' My whole family was now standing in the hallway, looking at me like I had lost my mind. 'I won't let anyone hurt her!' I roared and I saw Esmee's eyes pop.

_Edward...why is she so important?_ Carlisle wondered and stared incredulously at me.

I didn't know how to answer that question, because I didn't have an answer to it yet.

Alice suddenly stepped forward and smiled gently – but there was a hidden emotion there I couldn't quite figure out.  
'If you all could be so kind to listen to me for just a few seconds, then there won't be anything left to fight about.

A few days ago I saw, in a vision, that Edward would be going to that meadow – he loves – with somebody. At that time I didn't have a clue as to who that person might was, but today I had the exact same vision with the person laying next to him clearly.'

My mouth opened and my body turned to stone. The vision that Alice was showing me, showed me and _Bella_ laying in my meadow. _How…I….she….NO!_

My mind snapped. 'Alice! No, please say that you've got it wrong!'

Emmett cocked his head to the side and frowned. 'I don't get it. Can you guys tell us what is so horrible?'

Alice turned around with a huge smile to the rest of my family. 'The person I saw with Edward was Bella!' Her voice sounded joyful beyond belief and I certainly couldn't believe it.

In Alice's vision I was exposing myself in the sunlight to Bella!  
And even though that should have been the biggest problem; it wasn't. How could I endanger Bella like that? Why would I do this?

I was killing her by being around her and I knew it!

Alice turned to me again and saw my broken self. 'Because you love her, you moron.' She considered that. 'Or you will. I think you already are.' She laughed….she _laughed_!

_You áre a moron._ Rosalie.

_You fell for a human? Tough luck bro!_ Emmett.

_Sure am glad I'm not in that position._ Jasper.

_This makes things more…complicated,_ Carlisle thought and he instantly regretted his previous thoughts. 'Of course nobody will hurt her now, Edward.' He said out loud, making sure everybody obeyed him.

I nodded – only vaguely aware of my surroundings. The world felt like it was going to disappear before my eyes at that moment.

_Finally! I am so happy for you, son!_ Esmee almost screamed and my whole body went on total lockdown.

'He snapped.' Alice joked and poked my arm.

'Stop it.' I retorted. 'Alice, how can this happen?' I asked confused and mad at myself.

'Don't you realize you were bound to fall in love with that girl?'

Alice was right. Bella was good to her core, kind, caring, beautiful, seemed unafraid in my presence and her scent … everything about her attracted me.

Bella didn't deserve this though, she didn't deserve a vampire falling in love with her! She wouldn't feel anything for me at least – that was the only good thing - but I also felt saddened by that. _She _shouldn't _like you! It's not natural! It's not good!_

'I don't know, Edward. She seems kind of infatuated by you as well.' She giggled and pursed her lips.

The rest of my family was also shocked and was still looking at me like I had lost my mind, but now their eyes also held pity.

'I'm going for a run…' I mumbled incoherently. Standing in that hallway for a second more would have done it and I would have crumpled to the ground.

_Poor boy_, I heard Emmett think before erupting into laughter.

_This isn't going to do me any good_, I realized as I sliced another tree-trunk in half with my hand and watched the tree crash to the ground.  
_Maybe I should talk to Alice. _She usually had some answers for me and this wouldn't be the time to start failing me.

As I ran home I heard a voice and I stopped dead.

'I'm definitely lost now. Crap!'  
It couldn't be…

Then a small noise made my head snap up and I ran as fast as I could to the origin of the sound.

It was Bella! Why was she out here – alone? I had to be at least 3 kilometers away from Forks; she couldn't have possibly walked out here on her own, could she?

I noticed she had tried to push down a branch from a broken tree with her feet, but of course it had swung back up again: right against her face.

She was sitting on the ground, rubbing her nose, and was muttering curse words.

'Bella?' I called out, already regretting I had as soon as her name left my mouth.

She looked up, confusion and embarrassment causing her eyes to grow and her cheeks to flush.

I smiled instantly, but caught myself and pulled the corners of my lips down again. 'Are you all right?'

She smiled hugely at me and tried to get up. 'Yes! I'm absolutely fine, I was just,' she looked around and started patting the ground for some reason. 'relaxing.'

I nodded slowly. She was a horrible liar. 'You do realize you're 3 kilometers outside of Forks?'

She pulled her eyebrows up and bit her lip – a sign of stress. 'Really?'

I nodded again and smiled smugly. 'No, I didn't realize that. What are you doing here then?' She asked, trying to switch the subject to me.

'He's camping with us!' Alice suddenly yelled from behind me and I turned around with a horrified expression on my face. 'We were just packing up! Do you need a ride?'

Bella considered that and it seemed like she was actually considering turning the offer down.

'Yes, she does.' I answered for her, not needing or wanting an answer from her when she was this far into the woods and alone.

She opened her mouth to protest, but I turned back to her with a "don't you dare to say no" face and she blushed once more.

I walked up to Bella and grabbed her hand. A thrill rolled through my spine and I smiled when I felt her warmth. As I was touching her I felt a zing of electricity flow into my hand and through my arm into my whole body.  
It felt amazing.

As I was walking towards Alice again, with Bella following me, I sent Alice a questioning look.

_You wanted more time to think about it, right? _She turned on her heels and strode forward towards wherever her car was parked. _Well, this wouldn't have given you more time. She would have figured out by tomorrow that you are a vampire and since I'm such a good sister, _she looked over her shoulder to smile at me, _I figured I'd help you. _

'Thank you.' I whispered, too low for human ears.

_You're welcome. But it doesn't mean you won't be with Bella, which is still happening._

I low growl rippled through my chest and I saw Bella peer into different sides, looking for predators of some kind. Of course she would be doing that, I was that: a predator; and she was my prey.

I sighed internally at the situation that was unfolding: I knew Alice was going to be right; I was slowly falling in love with Bella. But I somehow had to be able to stop that from happening, but how?  
Was it even possible?  
Probably not.  
And in some weird way, I didn't want to prevent it from happening.

* * *

_I'm loving the next chapter and writing it and I hope you will love it too!_


	7. Chapter 3: Changes Part 1

I LOVE this chapter. Well, maybe I love it because I know what's going to happen...but I love every chapter, so maybe it doesn't count at all...

ANYWAY: I'm só sorry I haven't posted anything, but I was really busy and I had a writer's block *blush*! Well, I SO know what's going to happen now...

and maybe...you guys know too...or maybe you don't:O

is there going to be a twist? :O

YOU NEVER KNOW!

* * *

**Changes**

Bella's scent in a confined space, like the car we were in, was maddening. No, it was worse: hell, but strangely enough it was heaven at the same time.

Alice had insisted on leaving her bags in the front passenger seat - she had really gone all out on the props - forcing Bella and I to sit down in the back.

Alice was thinking about all the world's national flags. She was hiding something from me and I knew it.

When Alice took off driving Bella jumped in her seat and I noticed she hadn't buckled her seatbelt, probably following my bad example.

'Bella, you should buckle up.' I said dominantly.  
She didn't respond and turned her attention to staring at me. A peculiar expression crossed her face for just a second before she frowned and turned her face away from me.

_What!_ She couldn't stare at me like that and then nót say anything! 'Didn't you hear me? Fasten your seatbelt!' My worry for her safety made my voice sound more controlling and irritated than I intended it to.

'You didn't fasten your seatbelt.' Bella responded stubbornly and turned her gaze to stare out the window again at the passing trees.

_Be quick, _Alice thought and I saw her reflection smiling sneakily in the windshield.

The car didn't slow down when it went a little upwards and suddenly flew through the air for about 2 seconds. In those two seconds a lot happened:  
Bella squeaked and fell forward – head first – towards the passenger seat in front of her. I flew forward and grabbed her to pull her back into her seat.

I sighed happily after my assessment of her; she was fine. Nonetheless, she was somewhat distressed and I didn't like to see her that way. She was staring into my eyes with her deep brown ones and I couldn't help myself from getting lost in them. 'Bella? The seatbelt?' I asked her in my most pleasant tone of voice.

She blinked and her eyes went blank in an instant. _What was that?_  
'Y-yeah, thanks for helping me there.' She blushed and turned her face down as she buckled the seatbelt. 'I didn't even see you move.' she muttered silently, presuming I couldn't hear. Unfortunately, my vampire senses did pick that up and I knew exactly what she was referring to.

'What were you doing all the way out here?' I asked her, wanting to hear her voice again.

'I took a hike,' she frowned and I figured she normally didn't do this. 'but I got lost.' Her blush returned, but more forcefully and I grinned.

'You?' She looked into my eyes with a curious look on her face.

'I was camping with Alice,' I lied smoothly. 'and then I heard your big "oof".'

She looked like she about to roll around on the ground from laughter.

'What is it?' I asked smiling – reacting to hers.  
'I can't believe you said "oof".' Then she laughed, but quickly bit on her lip.

I frowned. 'I'm not allowed to say that?'

She blushed at that. 'Of course you're allowed,' she rolled her eyes and I couldn't help myself from smiling once again. 'but it doesn't seem like something _you_ would say.'

I understood what she was saying and she was right; I wouldn't, in normal circumstances, say "oof", but Bella was bringing out the human in me – and Alice was definitely loving it.

Alice already pulled up to Bella's house and the corners of my lips turned down in response.

Bella looked out the window and her lips also turned down, which made me smile yet again. 'This is me.' She told me, like I didn't already know.

I nodded. 'See you at school, okay?'

She smiled and nodded wildly, then she jumped out of the car and almost fell. Before she closed the door I winked and she froze.

The door shut noiselessly and I watched Bella's frozen form as we drove away from her.

As we drove away a sudden wave of angst hit me and I immediately knew it was for Bella's safety.  
I wasn't safe. My family wasn't safe. My _world_ wasn't safe.

'Stop thinking so much, Edward. God, as if you're carrying all the world's problems on your shoulders!' Jasper said irritated, he was getting quite depressed himself because of the emotions radiating off of me.

'Should I think less, or just differently?' I joked.

He got up and ran upstairs. 'Emmett, you wanted to wrestle, right?' He asked him and I laughed out loud at his apparent irritation with me.

I couldn't blame him though, I'd been thinking about Bella and the problems I was carrying with me into her life, as I was gradually becoming her _friend_. The word friend never ceased to annoy me and that bothered me even more. In the off chance I was to become Bella's friend, I shouldn't even dréám of her becoming more than that – it certainly was a good thing I couldn't dream.

After my little "fun moment" I went right back into thinking-mode.

Although my rational side seemed to have it figured out quite well, my other sides didn't agree in the slightest. My rational and most honorable side considered myself a threat to Bella, which I was, and wanted me to leave her alone, which I should.  
My selfish side couldn't stop thinking about Bella herself and thought it would all work out just fine. Right.  
The vampire in me just thirsted for her blood and both my other sides considered that side of me a danger and kept "him" caged pretty well in the dark corners of my mind.

There was so much to be considered:

I was a vampire and Bella, a human, was my prey. My body reacted to her as an animal to its food source – my mind was another story, but it might not be enough.  
Then, if I were able to move past the first argument, _her_ appeal – her delicious fragrance…her blood – was to be considered. I'd never come across any scent like hers…her blood had to be delicious. I shouldn't allow myself to think that though, it would only cause problems.  
If I also started to see her as a "food source" in my mind, what would happen then?

Everything confused me and everything hurt me. Every thought, every passing minute and every decision.

At a certain point, in the middle of the night, Alice knocked on my door and I tried to compose myself.  
'Can I come in?' She never asked if she may come, so it ought to be bad news for me.

'Of course.' I murmured and went to sit on my couch.

She came in and was smiling hugely. _Maybe not bad news_, I thought.

'Edward, you have to decide _something_! I am losing my mind; I've had 16 visions in which you decide to do 16 different things.'

I sighed. 'Why is the number 16 important?'

'Well, in those 16 visions there's one connection that causes all those distinct futures: Bella. You always end up going back to her, no matter what you do. So _give up_!'

'Alice,' I began, not irritated, but merely exhausted – I was drained from all the options and I didn't know what to do anymore. 'she doesn't deserve me falling in love with her. She deserves better than me.'

Alice pitied me and I knew it. _Edward…_ She really thought I deserved Bella and that Bella should be háppy even about the possibility of me loving her.

I knew better than that: it was a death sentence for her.

'Stop it!' Alice stood and looked at me with a fire behind her eyes. 'You are my brother and I won't let you torture yourself like this! She's an amazing girl – I've seen that – and I most certainly hope that she'll be able to accept you like you are and otherwise it would be her loss.'

My dead heart swelled at the obvious love of my sister for me. 'Alice…I'll kill her.' I objected, my rational side winning out over the others.

She shook her head. 'Do what you think is best, but at least you've heard what I think.' With that she disappeared out of my room. After a few moments she was complaining to Jasper about my "irritating and stupid" behavior.

I knew exactly what to do then though: I was going to see Bella!

* * *

please revieeeeewww

!;)


	8. Chapter 3: Changes Part 2

**_Hi! Okay, so I'm going to Londen for the next 3 days and I'll be back Wednesday night, I think I'll write...thursday evening maybe..._**

**_anyway, I'm going to write in Londen though, so I'll post a few chapters at the same time (& I had a momentary thought about a few chapters in Londen, but that's way ahead of this...so I don't know what I'm going to do with it..)_**

_This chapter doesn't contain really "WOW"stuff, but it's quite important for the coming chapters, so..._

_it may look like Edward is telling Bella a lot really soon, but he really isn't, but you'll see that in the next chapter_

* * *

My mind was split in two while I was running towards Bella.

One part of my brain was thinking _Bella, Bella, Bella _and another part of my brain was thinking about the repercussions this might have.

Alice didn't indicate that this would be the night where I'd make up my decision; no, she definitely didn't make it seem that way. But I hadn't been paying that much attention to her thoughts while she was trying to act mad. Yes, _trying_, because Alice had never and probably would never be mad at me.

Alice hád however learned how to lie in her thoughts and she'd tried it a few times – some successful and some horribly embarrassing.

Had she been lying this time?

_I'll soon find out_, my "Bella" part of my mind thought happily and I quickened my pace.

When I reached the edge of the forest near Bella's house, I scanned the street for conscious – or meaningful – thoughts.

_Mommy! The monster's going to get me! _A little girl screamed in her sleep and the human in me felt sorry for her.  
_She looks totally hot in that dress_, a boy thought hungrily and I almost laughed, _she'd look better out of it though._ He started picturing the girl without clothing and I quickly shut him out.

I climbed up the tree across from the window from Bella's room. She was sleeping soundly, curled up in her quilt and I smiled at the sight of her. She seemed peaceful and looked absolutely stunning: her hair splayed around her pillow and wearing a ragged and old shirt.

Then something suddenly hit me. Alice had told Bella I had been "camping" with "us". First of all, I couldn't have been camping, since it was in the middle of the week – not that it mattered, but it would be odd – and I had saved her that morning from a car crash! Second of all, who was "us"? Bella had ridden with us in the car and nobody besides Alice and I had been in it with her.

Alice probably expected me to solve this faulty lie. Or she had done it on purpose, because now I had to talk to Bella to fix Alice's mistake.

Yes, it had been on purpose._ Alice_, I growled internally.

I sighed and climbed further into the tree to get a better grip. Once I had seated myself somehow, I stared at Bella until it became light.

'Just go to her and fall in love already, it's taken long enough. I want to spend time with my new sister!' Alice nagged. She had been annoying me the whole ride to school and I was breaking the speed limit beyond belief to try and get to school as fast as I could; to be away from Alice.

'Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-' My anger flared then.

'Don't you dare and finish that sentence!' I yelled at her.

Her mouth fell open, but after a moment she pouted her lips and flashed me a wide smile. _G_, she thought and I groaned.

'Edward, I promise I won't tease you anymore.' She suddenly threw at me and I jerked one eyebrow up.

I pulled into a parking space then and Alice jumped out of the car, before flying off to class. _FYI: Don't worry about what you need to tell her, Bella's just gonna _love_ you. _

I growled and let my head fall onto the steering wheel in response, causing it to honk. My siblings laughed at the sight of me and I heard Emmett also humming the "Edward and Bella…" tune as he walked away.

I only had English with Bella today and so I had to convince her that Alice – and I – hadn't been lying to her in just one small hour. This was hopefully going to be easy.

I was already sitting in my seat in the back of the classroom when Bella entered. Her eyes met mine and she blushed scarlet as she walked towards me.  
She sat down next to me and peeked up at me through her eyelashes. 'Hi.' She smiled brightly and with that brightening my day immediately. _Stop._

'Hello, how are you today?' I asked curtly.

I inspected her thoroughly and found nothing to be wrong with her – except for a bruise on her left arm. She noticed me looking at the bruise and giggled. 'I'm fine and that bruise is nothing, I tend to get bruises very fast. How are you?'

Was she just fragile, or did she bump into things a lot, I wondered curious. 'I'm okay.' I lied casually, but she didn't buy it.

'Just okay?' She pushed and I smiled tentatively. She stared into my eyes, like she was trying to pull the answer right out of them. 'I'm great.' I told her, staring into her eyes like a lost puppy.

She suddenly sucked in a ragged breath then and I realised she hadn't been breathing – that was strange.

I was wondering how I would ease into the subject of Alice's lie, when Bella made it fairly easy for me. 'Thank you again for the ride yesterday, I don't think I could have gotten home if you hadn't been there.'

I smiled at her and she smiled back, warming my cold heart. 'About yesterday,' I began carefully, making sure I didn't say anything that would give the lie away. 'I figured you had been wondering about why we were there. Alice said that I was camping with "them", but she meant that I was helping some acquaintances of my family pack up their stuff. They had been camping out there and we wanted to help them.' The lie was illogical, but a normal human wouldn't actually care even if he or she knew it was a lie.

Bella acted different, of course. 'I hadn't even thought of that.' Her lips parted and she stared off into the distance; I could see clockwork of her brain work overtime.

Why didn't she pay attention to what somebody told her the one time I expected her to? Because Bella never did what I expected her to, that was why.

_Ha-ha, _Alice thought inside another classroom somewhere inside the school and I almost jumped off my seat in anger. 'Alice.' I muttered under my breath.

Bella was still staring off into the distance when I tried to correct my mistake. 'Never mind it then. I just thought I would clarify what she had said, so you wouldn't think anything of it.'

She looked up at me again then, her eyes mocking me for what I was saying; it didn't even make sense in my mind. 'I didn't and I won't.' She told me blushing once more and I breathed in deep, smelling her blush in the air. _What are you thinking_, I almost asked it aloud when Bella turned to the front of the classroom. Was she ignoring me? I couldn't stand it if she were to ignore me.

'What are you thinking?' I asked her; I needed to know.

She turned back to me and cocked her head to the side. 'First I was wondering if I should ask you if you were going to enlighten me a bit more on the "not-being-human". Then I decided to not ask, because if you didn't bring it up yourself, you obviously don't want to talk about it.' She was whispering, but I knew that my brothers and sisters would hear.

'Perceptive.' I mumbled and stared into her eyes, trying to find answers.

'Does it irritate you that I don't tell you?' I probed and she nodded glumly.

'We should talk about this somewhere else.' I told her and watched as her eyes grew curious.

The lesson dragged on and the whole time I stared at Bella and she stared at me.

By the time the bell rang I didn't notice it at first, Bella's stare was so intense that my surroundings were blurred.

The teacher then called out to us. 'Can the two lovebirds also carry on to their next classes?'

Bella blushed at her statement and I grinned widely – did we look like we were in love? _Wait, that isn't a good thing!_ I realised and my internal struggle started again.

I walked in front of Bella and led her out of the school, towards the huge boulder that we sat upon just a few days ago. She probably didn't grasp that she was going to skip class now – she didn't seem like a girl that would _just_ do that.

Bella sat down on the boulder and I started pacing, hoping some explanation for all of this would pop into my mind. 'What do you want to know?' I asked her, without giving myself permission to do so.

'Are you sure you want to tell me this?' She asked me and the undercurrent flowing through her voice confused me.

'No.' I told her, being honest.

She pursed her lips and considered that for a moment.

'What have you guessed this far?' I probed once more.

Deep creases appeared in her forehead and she blushed suddenly. 'You're extremely strong, fast and cold.' She had noticed the cold part? _Of course she has._

'And?' I pushed her to continue, I needed to know what she thought of me and if she was scared…of me.

'And I have got no idea. Nothing fits: I've tried books and Google and more books, but nothing fits.'  
She laughed then. 'My father figured that you are _Iceman_ on speed.' _You have got to be kidding me._

My eyes grew at what she said and she smiled in response. 'I didn't tell him about you.' She added explanatorily.

* * *

_Iceman on speed? Seriously Bella? Iceman's one thing, but on speed?:O_

_well, she's going to learn in the next chapter & it'll be GOOOOOOD_

_xx_


	9. Chapter 3: Changes Part 3

_London was A-MA-ZING, but since it was so great...I didn't really get a chance to write much._

_I worked on the "London Chapter" and I've thought about what I'm going to do with it, but you'll hear about that later on;)_

_Anyway, I wanted to give you a chapter, even though it might it be a short one, I liked this one because Edward and Bella's "relationship" is finally developing..._

_enjoy_

* * *

I shook my head at her worry. 'I didn't think you had.'

Bella blushed yet again and I couldn't restrain myself from leaning in to taste the scent in the air. I breathed in when I was about two centimetres from her face and her eyes grew almost twice in size.

'There truly is something different about you.' She told me quietly and I responded immediately: 'You are quite interesting yourself.'

She blushed _again_ at that and I had to hold myself back from growling – the scent was mouth-watering. She leaned in then too and mumbled: 'You can trust me.'

She doubted if _I_ trusted _her_? _Why would she even want me to trust her?_  
I wanted _her_ to trust _me_ and at that moment, when she was looking into my eyes like that, I had hope that one day she would.

'I know I can trust you, but I don't know if this is my secret to share.' I blurted out, without paying attention to what I was saying.  
Her eyes became small slits and I wondered if I had said too much.

She started nodding for some reason then and stood. She wobbled slightly and I wanted to steady her, but I didn't know if she wanted me to. I didn't even know if she wanted me to look at her or speak to her, let alone touch her.

She looked absolutely stunning in this light – as always - shining through the dense canopy. As I looked up to her and marvelled at her beauty, she looked over her shoulder to stare at me and smile.

The need to be closer to Bella grew infinitely. Nonetheless, I knew that being closer to her wasn't something I could ever do nor was _my_ decision to make.

She swallowed loudly and I almost laughed out loud. 'Are you not, for the tiniest bit, afraid of me?' I had to ask. I had to know.

If she were afraid of me, I would have to make myself leave her alone. I would háve to.

Bella stepped back, away from me, and frowned, pulling one eyebrow up and one side of her mouth in unison. 'Afraid? Should I be afraid you?' _Yes_, I thought glumly and dropped my eyes to the ground.

'I'll drive you home.' I walked forward, forcing myself to keep some amount of space between us. She stumbled behind me, making her way across the forest floor. If she were to fall I would catch her – nobody was to lay one finger on her while I was with her. My jaw clenched at that thought and I tried to shake it off before Bella noticed it.

'I asked you something.' She responded irritated, but I stalked forward, keeping my eyes on the parking lot.

'Edward?' She continued, trying to get my attention, but I refused to look back and look into her eyes. I was very afraid that if I was going to look into her eyes, I was going to tell her everything. Every secret, everything she wasn't supposed to know. It would ruin her life.

I noticed, without looking – using my hearing –, that she had stopped dead and I whirled around.

Her hands were on her hips and she was leaning on her left leg, making her lean to the left with her hips. She looked aggravated yet she still succeeded in keeping a calm look on her face. The calm feelings wasn't there in her eyes though, they were inquisitive and _hungry_.

'Can't we just talk here?' The aggravation disappeared from her eyes almost instantaneously.

'Yes, of course.' I answered, smiling in response, and went to sit with her on the boulder again.

We talked for hours then, about all sorts of subjects.

She told me about where she used to live and what she loved about Phoenix. She explained what she loved about the seemingly dead lands and the purple volcanic rock.  
She told me about her friends back in Phoenix and her new friends in Forks.  
She told me about her mother and her new husband Phil; she told me she liked Phil, but would probably never _love_ him like she loves her mother and father.

At that point it had become fairly dark and I decided I'd better bring her home. 'Bella, maybe I should drive you home.' I said to her and she guided me towards her truck. My car had been long gone, since Alice had driven it home. She had laughed at me from the parking lot and thought "_Told you_" multiple times, before finally driving my car home.  
Bella had spent an entire afternoon with me and she hadn't even whimpered once. She had gone on and on about her life, which pleased me greatly, and without seeming scared once.  
After an hour or two she really started opening up, using her hands and sometimes even her feet to describe places and objects to me.

She had obsessively tried to convince me that her grandma was kind beyond belief and would have accepted anything and anyone into her life. Although I knew that wasn't true, I accepted it with a smile. I probably didn't count as "anything or anyone".

And finally, as we were sitting on the porch steps of her house, she explained the problems between her mother and father. Her mother couldn't take living in Forks anymore and left, which was harsh on her father, but according the Bella they still loved each other – although, in my eyes, it seemed only because of Bella.

'Phil might just be the one for my mother and Charlie just wants her to be happy – he still loves her after all these years.' She shook her head at the last part, as if she felt sorry for him.

Just when I was about to respond, she opened her mouth and added something to her last statement. 'It may sound a bit foolish and stupid, but I don't think that if you truthfully love someone, that the love for that person ever dies.'

I knew for a fact that she was right, but it seemed more appropriate for vampires than for humans. Humans _could_ love someone else, but vampires rarely changed and once we did; once we fell in love with someone; once we found our mate, the love for that someone never died and we could never love another person.

Vampire love was set in stone. Was human love? Maybe.

I couldn't believe I was so close to condemning this perfect girl to having a vampire love her.

_Run, Bella, run!_

_Stay, Bella, stay!_

'Charlie will be home soon…' Bella mumbled to herself, biting her lip, as she was growing more anxious with each passing second. 'I have to cook dinner.' She told me gently. 'Will I s-see you tomorrow?' She hesitated and I smiled hugely at her, baring my teeth in the progress.

She seemed stunned and I quickly shut my mouth again. Was it fear...or something else, that made her heart go wild when she was near me? 'Yes.  
And I was wondering,' I began slowly. 'if you'd like me to drive you…to school, I mean.'

She smiled shyly and nodded, guiding her eyes to the ground once more. 'I would love that.'

I stood then and walked away from the porch, leaving Bella behind me.  
When I was about 15 meters away and just about to walk behind a hedge, I called over my shoulder. 'Bella, be safe.'

She nodded at that and I sighed.

As I was running home through the forest from Bella's house, I decided I needed a distraction once more.  
I jumped, spun around in the air and sliced a tree in half with my hand. It _was_ fun and I made a mental note for having a "tree slicing" competition with Emmett and Jasper.

Esmee probably wouldn't be too happy about us destroying the forest though and I decided I'd better just stop this for it became a habit.

I needed another "stress ball" then and I went for a run.

Running always felt good: the wind and the excitement, it just took my mind of all my problems.

Then I smelled a familiar scent and I followed it to a cliff looking out at sea. 'Edward, finally.' Alice chimed at me from a distance and I involuntarily pulled up the corners of my lips.

* * *

_I hope you liked it!_

_I'll be posting a new chapter tomorrow (I really like where the story is going and in the next chapter the Cullen's hunting habits are really going to come forward, so, this ought to be fun) of course & if you won't be able to read again soon because of the holidays:_

**_I wish you a merry christmas & a happy new year!_**

review!


	10. Chapter 4: Sleep Part 1

_This is the chapter I've been wanting to write for SO LONG!_

* * *

**Sleep**

'Alice.' I nodded at her and went to sit beside her on the edge of the cliff. 'What are you doing here?'

_Oh, I saw you coming here and I thought I'd join you_. She giggled then. 'Sooooo.' _How was Bella-time? _

I rolled my eyes at her feigned interest in that subject, she was just trying to roll into the subject she wanted to discuss, but I wouldn't help her. 'Yes, Bella-time was great.' I stared into the distance. Remembering every word Bella had spoken to me.

'What did you guys talk about?' She fluttered her eyelids and leaned towards me in an interested manner. _Told her about the "I'm a vampire thing" yet?_

'No, I didn't tell her that I'm a vampire, Alice.'

_Will you?_ Her lips turned down when she saw at least six visions, and in only two she saw me telling Bella I was a vampire. The odds weren't looking all too bright for Alice.

'Alice, it isn't right. I won't- no, I can't tell her. It will drive her away from me.'

Alice suddenly had a glimmer of hope and I frowned. _I thought you were thinking of her safety, not that you didn't want to tell her because you think it'll drive her away from you._

_Crap_, I thought jostled. 'I ám thinking of her safety!'

_Yes, but also of _her. She smiled hugely at me - that annoying little pixie.

Alice was absolutely right though. I was well on my way for falling for Bella and I knew it. It was wrong and stupid, but it was still the truth. 'Alice….you must understand that-'

She cut me short and the annoyance, that had been present in her eyes, turned into frustration and then into fury. 'I must understand _what_? Edward,' her eyes were soft again. 'why are you torturing yourself like this? You know that at a certain point you'll fall for Bella, whether it is tonight, or tomorrow, you _will_! So, just give in.'

Should I give in? Should I damn Bella to this life?  
_I'm so arrogant_, I almost assumed that Bella would choose to be with me if I were to tell her about my being a vampire.

She probably wouldn't even want to be with me if I were human and had absolutely nothing to hide – she was too amazing.  
But then again, who would be good enough for her? I couldn't think of anyone.

_What are you going to do now?_ Alice asked me suddenly in her mind and I had no idea what I was going to answer her with. _I assumed you didn't know, but I'll give you two options: you can either go home and sulk in a corner, until it's morning and you have to drive Bella to school or you can give in to what you _want_. Either way, you'll see Bella._

For once, I acknowledged, even to myself, that Alice was right and I knew exactly what I was going to do.

As I was running to Bella's house, the inevitable happened: I started doubting my decision. Am I doing the right thing? The answer to that question was simple: no, I was not. The right would be to leave and never come back, but I didn't know if I could do that anymore.

The monster in me reared his head up at the idea of Bella alone, in her bed, vulnerable. I shook that thought away from me immediately and climbed up the tree across from her window in one fluent movement.

The monster was easily pushed back into the shadows when I saw Bella.  
She kept tossing and turning in her sleep and I figured she was having some sort of nightmare.

I was instantly tense and wanted to comfort her, somehow, but how? And who knew if she wasn't having a nightmare about _me_. The thought sent a shock of pain through my stomach and I cringed.

_She should have nightmares about me though_, I realised glumly. I was a dangerous vampire, especially dangerous to her, and she was perfect. _And you're very close to being her stalker_, I forced myself to add mentally.  
A vampire stalker, she really was a magnet for trouble.

When I was about to climb back down the tree, Bella turned and mumbled something. Curiosity overpowered my self-loathing and I jumped to her wall – holding on to her window frame.

Bella was still tossing and turning in her bed and her face showed obvious fear. 'No…don't…' she muttered and turned over on her back again.  
She pulled the quilt up to her chin and her face contorted. Seeing Bella's fear triggered a protective side in me I didn't know I had; I wanted to make the pain, or whatever she was feeling, go away.

Suddenly, her face relaxed into a gentle smile and her hands unclenched. 'Mom….can't jump…..waterfall….too high….' Bella mumbled and I couldn't keep from laughing out loud.

I couldn't think of leaving then and I pushed her window open – it was fairly easy and that scared me a little bit, whoever wanted to enter _could_. Of course her window was almost 4 metres above the ground and locking it wasn't really necessary – and this actually made things easier for me.  
Right after opening her window, I slid inside her room and closed the window behind me – making sure the cold air didn't get in. Before I could close the window though, the warm air from Bella's room got sucked outside and her scent assaulted me.

My throat felt like it was set on fire and I gritted my teeth.

Then the realisation of being in Bella's room hit me and I blinked feverishly, deciding what to do. I couldn't possible think of what my next "move" should be: I _couldn't_ bring myself closer to Bella, that would kill her; I didn't _want_ to stand there all night, though I _could_; I _should _leave.  
At that moment I noticed the rocking chair in the other corner of her room and I inched forward, still not decided whether to leave or to stay.

Bella mumbled something incoherent then and it caused my curiosity to flare up again. Sighing silently, I sat down in the chair and started watching Bella while she slept.

With her hair splayed all around her peaceful face and pillow and wearing a ragged old sweater, she still looked utterly striking.

For a while she was silent and I listened to her steady pulse and her breathing.  
After an hour or two I had started debating with myself again about leaving – not only leaving the room; leaving Forks; leaving Bella. This thought also sent a gut wrenching feeling through my body and I groaned.

Bella turned over then and faced me. I froze in shock. _Oh, no! Is she awake? She isn't screaming and her breathing is still- _Bella mumbled something then and I blinked two times, trying to comprehend what she had just said. Had I heard it correctly or was my hearing failing me? Since that was impossible, I had to be going insane.  
Thankfully after two seconds Bella murmured the same word as before: 'Edward.' She smiled then and rolled on her back once more.

My cold and dead heart felt like it was about to start beating again; my whole body was singing with joy. I was absolutely radiant, smiling from ear to ear. Bella had said my name in her sleep and _smiled_! She had _smiled_!

'Don't leave me…' she muttered and bit her lip – she did that in her sleep too? 'Edward…stay, please..' My head was spinning at the words leaving her mouth. This perfect and wonderful creature wanted _me_, the dangerous monster, to _stay_.  
Bella wanted _me_ to stay with _her_.

Everything I'd ever known or loved or cherished was pushed down my list of priorities then. This girl, this perfect girl was number one now, she was everything now.  
I had changed and I knew it had happened. I felt every cell in my body adjust to this change; I felt every portion of the love I felt for Bella fall right into place; I felt my whole body adjusting to the love I felt for Bella and I knew I could never go back. I loved Bella and there was nothing I neither could nor wanted to do about it anymore.

Somewhere, behind all the "what-ifs" and the "cants", I had hope that one day Bella would love me too.

This was the best night and best moment of my entire life – I couldn't imagine life getting any better.  
In the back of my mind a little voice was screaming at the top of its lungs: 'This is wrong!' but I couldn't possibly care less.

I watched Bella until the sun rose behind the clouds.

My family all noticed the change in me when I returned home that morning to wash and change, before I'd pick Bella up for school. "The change" wás pretty apparent on my face seeing that there was a huge smile plastered on it, which was rather unusual for me.

_Does it hurt?_ Alice thought, grinning a devilish smile at me when she entered my room. She was holding a new shirt – I didn't care anymore what designer it was those days – and I pulled it on at once.

'Does what hurt?' I asked, pretending I didn't know what she was getting at.

She giggled and went to sit on my sofa with her legs crossed. _Smiling_.

'No, it feels great.' I answered, my smile widened and Alice responded with an even bigger smile – it looked like it would hurt if a human did that.  
Alice proceeded to show me a few visions of how today would turn out, but I knew she was doing that to hide something from me. 'Alice, what are you hiding?' I asked her, hoping she'd slip.

Closing her eyes and concentrating very hard on her math homework she skipped out of my room and I growled. 'I'll find out eventually!' I called after her.

'It'll be too late then!' She called back cheerfully and I growled again.

* * *

_Sorry for all the delays & short chapters. I'm really sorry, but it's the holiday season haha and I'm quite busy:P_

_I'll post a new chapter very soon!_

_**please review**_


	11. Chapter 4: Sleep Part 2

_I liked this part very much:) the relationship between Bella & Eddie-boy is developing pretty good & I most certainly hope that it'll get even beter - donno..maybe something's going to happen_

_ok, so enjoy;)_

* * *

While driving to Bella I felt both joy and panic. The joy still lingered from the moment she had said my name in her sleep and the panic was caused by the ever-present worry about Bella's safety and the feeling that she might realize I was dangerous.

With a sigh, I had to admit to myself that that was supposed to happen.

I parked on the corner of Bella's street and waited for Chief Swan to go to work.  
After that, I let the fear overtake me and when the fear seemed to have consumed everything inside me, the only thing that was left was self-loathing. I loathed myself for the fact that I was and would always be a vampire; my cold skin, my dead body, my speed, my strength, my bloodlust and most important of all: I was a killer.

In the middle of the millions of thoughts that were shooting through my mind, one in particular stood out: _What if she ever hurt herself?_

I would kill her.

My masochistic brain went on from there. _What íf she got hurt and what if she died?_ There were so many ways that a human could get hurt or killed – Bella in particular.

Chief Swan drove by in his car then and I was instantly pulled out of my reverie.

I could hear Bella running through her house; run several times up and down the stairs; grabbing her bag, before throwing it somewhere and picking it up again; ruffling some papers and putting some books in her back; and finally she pulled her jacket on and yanked the front door open.

She froze in the door opening when she noticed my Volvo, which was parked in the driveway. 'What..' she mumbled and her face screwed up in a confused expression until she seemed to realize I was picking her up for school today. Her eyes became large for a second, before an impish smile spread across her face and she slowly turned around to lock the door behind her.

Her unhurried pace towards my car irritated me beyond belief and I almost jumped out of the car and threw her over my shoulder to get her in. She hesitantly pulled the passenger side door open and smiled at me when she saw me. 'Can I-' she trailed off and I smiled invitingly.

My worries were slowly fading away at her obvious lack of fear when she saw me – besides the fact that she didn't know how to act in a situation like this.

I started the car then and backed out of the driveway, while looking at Bella. 'How are you?' I asked, knowing she was fine, but needing the reassurance. 'I'm good and you?' She responded cheerfully.

'I feel fantastic.' I told her, grinning widely at her, not able to hide the happiness I felt whenever I was near her.

She looked out the side window in surprise and suddenly cocked her head to the side, staring at the speedometer with shocked eyes. _What had I done wrong?_

'So..I-I w-was think-king..' Bella stuttered incoherently, all the while keeping her eyes fixed on the speedometer. 'Do you always drive this fast?' She blurted out all of a sudden and stared at me with fearful eyes.  
I nodded. 'I always do, when I drove you home and Alice also drives like this.'

Her heart was going wild inside her chest and I was instantly tense. 'Bella, are you okay?'

'Can you d-drive a little slower, _please_!' She breathed and I slowed down at once, ignoring my impatience with the sluggish pace.

Her pulse also slowed down then and her breathing returned to normal - I smiled at that. 'Better?' I asked, concern still present in my voice. The one time she was afraid of something; of course it had to be my driving skills.  
She nodded and returned her eyes to mine.

'What I was trying to tell you was,' Bella began a little while later, and I almost laughed at the lack of fear in her voice. 'that now you know almost everything about my life, I'd love to hear some more about yours.'

She was interested in me – my heart swelled. Even though this was ridiculous; after almost every answer she had given me, she had asked me the same question or something alike and I had answered all of them.

'Go ahead.' I smiled, encouraging her to continue.

Bella had a whole list of questions for me that lasted all throughout the school day and I answered them wholeheartedly. She asked me about my biological parents; my adoptive parents; my brothers and sisters; where I used to live.  
And during the lunch break she asked me about my friends – which was a fairly short list, next to my brothers and sisters and some of the Denali-clan, I had to admit there weren't many.

She blushed suddenly and I was immediately curious as to why.

I tried coaxing first, but after that didn't work, I tried pleading. 'Please, Bella, please tell me.'

Her blush became even more forceful then and I held back a growl. 'I blushed, because you didn't mention me as your friend.' She admitted and looked down at the table between us.  
Emmett, Jasper and Alice didn't have a problem with me sitting at another table this lunch break, but Rosalie was furious and I had seen visions in Alice's mind of my Aston Martin: smashed to pieces. I didn't care; Bella was all that mattered.

'That's because I hope you're not my friend,' she looked up and stared into my eyes, there was anxiety and sadness there and I wanted to comfort her. 'I hope you're something more than that, or can be.' I couldn't believe I had just said that out loud – I wanted to slap myself on the back of my head.

The corners of her lips twitched and she bent forward, breathing warm and delicious air into my face.

The bell rang then and I cursed Mrs. Cope once more for pressing that button – did she not realize there was a vampire in this school who was having a "moment" with the human he loved? Probably not.

Bella had resumed her questionnaire for me and was now asking more "personal" questions: girls I had liked; what I liked in girls; former girlfriends and lots more. These questions weren't as easy to answer as the previous ones, because it seemed like Bella wanted to know the answers to these questions for a reason, but I couldn't figure out what.

At the end of the day, I drove Bella home and she kept on asking me questions, she was now asking the inconsequential: favourite colours, books, movies, places, holidays, people, animals, etcetera.  
I answered them all with as much thought as she seemed to give them when I asked her the exact same questions afterwards.

She had blushed at her favourite colour, wanting to answer something, but looking away quickly when she met my gaze.  
After trying coaxing once more, which only caused Bella to avert her eyes, I tried pleading, hoping it would work this time too. I stared into her yes with as much fervour as I could muster and spoke seductively. 'Please, Bella.'

She swallowed loudly and leaned towards me, but blinked bewildered when she got close. 'It's green.' She mumbled softly and leaned back again, embarrassed.  
My brow furrowed at that answer. 'I thought you hated green.'  
She nodded in agreement, but after two seconds she guided her eyes back upwards and stared into mine. 'I didn't think I ever told you I hated green.'

_Right_, so that was my mistake of the day – _and many more to come_. 'You didn't, but it's pretty noticeable on your face.' That was plausible; Bella always seemed somehow irritated when she looked into the forest or at the ground. Why I hadn't noticed it earlier, I didn't know. 'Why is it green then?' I asked genuinely interested.  
She looked up into my eyes once more and whispered: 'It's the colour of your eyes.'

My heart swelled once more at that, because maybe – just maybe – Bella liked my appearance, as well as she seemed to like my personality.  
Of that I was almost certain: Bella liked _me_ for who I was and didn't fear me one bit.

As the realization of that hit me, my heart swelled once more and I felt almost giddy.

It had started raining then and I remembered about "keeping up appearances". 'Bella, I probably need to get home for dinner.' I told her, my eyes dropping to the ground.

She stood from her porch and whispered: 'Do you want to eat with me? Charlie's not home tonight anyway, he's eating at the Blacks and I'm to stubborn to go.' She wanted me to eat at her home – with _her_ -, my body sang with my love for her and I stood too.

I wanted to accept her offer, but I hád to keep up appearances. I sighed. 'I'm sorry, but Esmee almost certainly cooked dinner already.'  
The corners of her lips turned down and she opened the front door. 'Will you,' she waited for a long moment, staring between the ground and me multiple times. 'pick me up for school, tomorrow?'

I smiled reassuringly at her, letting her know she didn't have anything to worry about. 'I'll be here.' I stepped out into the rain then and made my way towards my car.

She was smiling hugely while she waved at me – her heart going insane. 'See you tomorrow then!'

'Goodbye, Bella.'

Her face became scarlet and I chuckled. 'Bye, Edward.' The sound of my name exciting her lips sent a thrill throughout my body.

_Edward!_ Alice screamed in her mind and I tried to block her out immediately – hoping she'd disappear. _Edward, Edward, Edward! _

'What is it, Alice?' I asked annoyed and opened the front door of our house, to find Alice standing in front of it in the hallway.  
_How is Bella? Told her you're a vampire yet?_

'No, Alice.' I snapped and ran up to my room.

_You can act like you're not happy right now, but I know you're just_ 'glowing inside!' she said the last part out loud and smiled hugely, while making a rainbow motion with her hands.  
I threw a pillow at her with such speed, that it exploded when her hand waved it away like it was a feather. _Really, are you going to throw pillows at me now, Edward?_

I snorted and she stared at me in disbelief for a few seconds.  
Jasper flitted into my room then and leaned against the doorpost, smiling at the happiness coming from me. _This girl really makes you happy, doesn't she?_ He asked me and I nodded – making sure Alice noticed.

'You can't have a silent conversation with me in the room!' She slapped Jasper on the back of his head and stormed out of my bedroom.

_Oh, no.._ 'Alice!' Jasper yelled after her and he disappeared too.

Alice was back in my room then, with Jasper holding his arms around her waist. 'Go to Bella, you'll want to hear this.'

And with that I was gone.

* * *

_I hope you liked it!_

_Ok...so, made A HUGE MISTAKE, I mixed green & bronze in the favourite colour bit...sooo, well, I fixed it now. For the people who don't understand: Edward's wearing GREEN lenzes (remember, eats human red eyes, can't really have that can we). And if you now think like "but she loves something about him that's fake!:O, it'll "fixed" in another chapter";)  
_

**_review !_**


	12. Chapter 4: Sleep Part 3

_So, I actually wanted to make this part bigger, but I needed sleep haha and I wanted to put something on here before I went to sleep, so guess what: there's going to be a part 4 for "Sleep"! Don't be angry at me:$_

_I hope you love it as much as I do!_

_enjoy_

* * *

I ran to Bella's home in less than a minute, wanting to catch everything she said. My "good" side noticed that I was making this a habit, but I didn't care anymore – just like I seemed to nót care about anything anymore, anything but Bella.

My need to see Bella grew every second I was away from her and I climbed into the tree with such speed, that multiple branches broke and I cracked parts of the tree, leaving my handprints in the tree.  
I sighed and climbed back down, to create a normal-like texture again. When I was satisfied with the results, I swiftly made my way up the tree, jumped to the wall and opened the window.

For the shortest moment, a thought ran through my mind: _This is wrong_, but I ignored it and climbed into Bella's room.  
Just like the other night, I went to sit in the rocking chair in the corner and watched Bella while she slept.

She looked peaceful and didn't talk or mumble for a long while. After a while, I started exploring her room: looking at her books, movies and music.  
When I was about to doubt Alice's vision, Bella turned over and groaned in her sleep.

I chuckled softly and returned to sit in the rocking chair.

'Edward.' Bella breathed and I felt joy overflow my body in crashing waves.

Somehow, my legs had moved without the permission of my mind and I clenched my jaw when I noticed how close I was to Bella; I was standing next to her bed!  
Before I knew it, my hand also had moved towards Bella's face and I let my index finger softly brush over her warm cheek.  
She was so…soft and warm..my stomach did summersaults at the_ idea_ of touching Bella and the fact that I actually was sent my mind also flipped.  
Her skin was like porcelain, beautiful and..fragile…_Stop_.

I stepped back, when I finally grasped what I was doing. _This is wrong_, I told myself and sat back down in the chair.

Bella was human and I was her doom – literally.

Bella smiled then and her hand gripped her quilt tightly. 'Edward.' She mumbled once more and I couldn't contain the happiness I felt.

That was enough to have made me stay, but Bella's sleep talk continued: 'I don't know.' Bella whispered and she blushed in her sleep.

_What are you thinking?_ 'What don't you know, Bella?' I asked impatiently, hoping that maybe she would unconsciously pick up my question.

She frowned and her nose twitched. 'What you are.' She said like in a whiny tone of voice. _Great, she's still trying to figure that out. _How could I expect to do anything other than that?

Bella was silent for a while after that, but at regular intervals, she'd mumble my name in a plea or would smile hugely.

The night became lots of fun for me then, as I gradually found out she almost always answered me in her sleep when I asked her things. Sometimes though, she was just as stubborn as in the daylight or she'd blush, which would frustrate me even more.

At one point though, it seemed like Bella was actually questioning me in her sleep. She kept on asking me things and I would answer them, but she didn't respond. So, I guess the unconscious mind had a limit after all.

After what seemed like an hour, the sun came up behind the clouds and I sighed.  
I left the room as swiftly as I had climbed in and I ran straight home the moment my feet touched the ground.

Alice almost jumped me when I got home. _Told you you'd love it!_

I laughed at her and ran upstairs to take a shower. When I stepped out of the shower, I noticed the new clothes hanging on my bathroom door. 'Alice.' I grumbled and changed into my Armani shirt and Calvin Klein pants.

Alice was in my room then and was studying my outfit. 'I outdid myself. Bella is going to love it, it'll give her something else to look at, at least.'

She definitely gained my attention with that comment. 'Something else?' I asked Alice and sent her a crooked grin.

She rolled her eyes and ran downstairs to sit in my Volvo. _She always stares at your face, you never noticed before? _

I shook my head, before realizing that she couldn't see that and ran downstairs, finding my siblings waiting beside my car. 'Uhm,' I began uncomfortably, not knowing how to explain to them why I wouldn't be driving them to school _again_.

Rosalie shook her head and jumped into Emmett's Jeep. 'He's driving the _human_ to school.' She hissed.

I growled and Emmett gave me a disapproving look, also jumping in his Jeep.

'Have fun, Edwárd!' Jasper and Alice said in unison, which left Alice giggling uncontrollably until they were far away from our house.

I was in my car in a flash and backed out of the garage. Again, my only thoughts were "_Bella, Bella, Bella!_". How was I ever going to leave this girl if no part of me wanted to? I rarely thought about leaving anymore and it was beginning to appear impossible.

'Good morning.' Bella chimed when she finally climbed onto the passenger seat. She shivered and carefully eyed my jacked – how convenient: Alice – that was slung around the passenger's seat headrest.  
I nodded encouragingly and started driving towards school.  
'How did you sleep?' I asked, interested in whether I had accidentally wore her out due to my many questions.

She smiled shyly and kept her eyes on the dashboard. 'Pretty good and you?'  
I didn't necessarily want to lie to her, so I made I told her a half-lie. 'I had a good night.'

She smiled and I watched with great satisfaction as Bella took in my clothes and blushed at some thought. 'What?' I asked, trying my hardest not to be rude.

'Nothing!' She exclaimed and stared out the window in embarrassment.

'Hmm,' I mumbled and sent her a crooked grin – her eyes seemed to space out at that. 'I thought I caught you staring at something.' I raised my eyebrows and Bella blushed bright red, which made my throat burn.

We arrived at the school then and Bella gazed around her, like she didn't understand that we were already here. 'No, I didn't drive slow this time.' I told her and chuckled.

Bella stepped carefully out of the car and crossed her arms, pouting like a stubborn child. I walked around the car until I was standing about 30 centimetres away from Bella.

'I told you I didn't like it when you drive fast.' She told me and glanced at me from under her lashes.

I lifted her head by putting my index finger under hen chin. 'I promise not to do it again.' I told her and stared into her eyes deep pools of chocolate, making sure she believed me.  
Bella blushed crimson then and I stifled a chuckle, but it made me realize what I was doing though and I pulled my hand away from her immediately – also stepping away slightly.  
Her lips turned down in reaction to that and something deep inside me stirred at seeing her lips move…

'Edward! Alice shouted and skipped to me in a human pace. My jaw almost dropped to the ground and I wanted to shout at her for approaching me while I was with Bella. _How dare she do this without asking me first!_

'Bella! Hi, I'm Alice! It's so nice to meet you.' She stopped dead when she was about a metre away from Bella and I and stretched her hand out.  
Bella took her hand and glanced, stunned, at me. 'It's nice to meet you too.'

Alice was grinning like an idiot and kept staring between Bella and I as if we were two cute puppies. 'I was wondering if you would like to join Edward and me when we go to Port Angeles tomorrow after school.'

Bella peeked at me and noticed my apprehensive expression. 'I don't know if Edward would like me to..' Alice cute her short and grinned hugely at me; _I'm doing you a favour, she's going to break her arm if she stays here Friday night – and even if you spend the night with her, she still manages to do it. So, unless you want to hold her all night in your arms….which is a possibility. _

The mental picture of Bella in my arms stunned me for a moment, but I quickly regained myself and smiled down at Bella. 'I'd love for you to come.'

Bella nodded then and waved Alice goodbye as all three of us left for classes.  
Fortunately, I had been able to change a lot of my classes to match Bella's.

Bella hadn't even asked me why I was suddenly in almost every class with her – she had actually shooed Mike Newton when he didn't want to give up his seat next to Bella in of our classes together.  
We talked all day long, during every class, ignoring when we irritated the teachers.

'I was wondering, why haven't I been called upon for detention. We skipped school that one time, remember?' Bella asked at one point during English.  
I smiled an impish smile and glanced down at the desk while I spoke. 'I had Alice tell Mrs. Cope that you had gotten sick and I brought you home.'

'Ow.' Bella answered simply and giggled. _She giggled?_

Before school was out, we had one more hour of class and _of course_ Mrs. Cope had told me it was virtually impossible to get into the same class as Bella that hour.

I had sighed and groaned my way through the hour, wanting and _needing_ to get to Bella.

I was standing quietly behind Bella's locker door against the other lockers, anticipating her shock when she noticed me there.

She closed her locker with a loud "bang" and breathed in sharply when she saw me, like I expected. 'Hello.' I almost laughed.

'You scared me.' She admitted with a nervous laugh.

I smiled at that and growled so soft that she would pick it up, but wouldn't know what it was, with her human hearing. Her heartbeat went faster and swallowed loudly as she stared into my eyes. 'Did I?' I mumbled and leaned closer towards her.

She nodded and her eyes were huge.

I pulled back then and smiled my crooked smile; I had noticed that she seemed to like that. She relaxed immediately and I smiled even wider.

As Bella and I were walking down the parking lot, Bella apparently felt the need to get her left foot stuck in a small hole in the ground. She almost fell over, of course, but I caught her just in time and lifted her up into my arms.

'Will you please put me down!' Bella gasped in my ear, but was clamping tighter onto me at the same time.

'Sure.' I said, when I reached the car and carefully put her down on her feet again; savouring the feeling of her skin against mine.

* * *

_I hope you loved it!_

_I so LOVE IT that Bella & Eddie-boy are slowly fallin' in love wooohow_

**_REVIEW! xx_**


	13. Chapter 4: Sleep Part 4

_**First of all: HAPPY NEW YEAR!**_

_I hope everybody had a good time and is as thrilled for this year as I am._

_Anyway, sorry it has taken so long for me to post something, but I've been quite busy due to the time of year.._

_everything will come more regularly again now;)_

_So, here it is. I LOVE THIS CHAPTER_

* * *

While driving, I was trying profusely to _ignore_ Bella's scent.  
After a while, I gave up trying to ignore her scent and settled on _acknowledging_ but not _acting_ to her scent.

Bella was staring at me, the whole way to her house. 'Edward,' she began after a moment and her tone worried me. 'I need you to answer another question for me.'

_This isn't good_, I kept my eyes carefully on the road ahead of me, instead of getting trapped by Bella's eyes. 'And what is that question?' I probed warily.

She also glanced out the window then and blushed. 'Never mind.' She muttered and clenched her hands into tiny fists.

That wasn't going to happen. 'You can't just start with a question and then not ask it!' I peered at her from the corners of my eyes. 'Sometimes you drive me insane.' I spoke my last words very kindly, letting her know it wasn't _her_ fault – in some peculiar way.

She was quiet for a long time, until I finally asked: 'What are you thinking?' It was good to say it out loud, since it had been haunting my mind for such a long time.

She glanced up at me from under her lashes and smiled. 'I was thinking about what you are.'

I swallowed – without use. 'Have you had any luck with that yet? Or are you still stuck on the "Iceman"-theory?'

She blushed crimson and she stared out the passenger side window. 'Not really, I'm hoping for some hints from your side.'

I almost laughed in her face. 'What clues do you have already?'

She stared at me once more and I smiled back at her. 'I don't know anymore. I think I'm going to check Google on you, maybe something will turn up.'

I rolled my eyes at that. _Don't bet on it._ Google was definitely an inventive little tool, but it probably wouldn't help her with this problem. 'You're going to Google me?'

She raised her shoulders and I chuckled. 'Probably,' she told me, her eyes sparkling. 'unless you want to enlighten me?'

I shook my head. 'I'd better not.'

The corners of her lips turned down and she stared at her hands. 'Are you going to pick me up for school again tomorrow?'

I smiled hugely at her, baring my teeth and gripping the steering wheel tighter – that was going to leave a mark. 'Yes. I'll be here at exactly the same time as yesterday.'

She opened the door and almost fell when she stepped out of the car – holding herself up by the car door.

'Oh, Bella!' I called out and she whirled around with a big smile on her face. 'Please wear something…pretty, Alice won't go into town with us if you don't.'

I realized how that must have sounded and coughed. 'Not that this doesn't like stunning on you. You look beautiful.'

Her eyes became almost bogged out of their sockets and she blushed once more.

She then proceeded to walk to her front door and she looked like she was about to fall over when she stepped onto her porch. She waved when she heard me back out of the driveway and drove towards my house. I stared into the mirror the see her staring after the car and smiled.

_Edward_, Alice's thoughts shocked me and I didn't understand the apprehension within her mind when she called out to me in her mind, sitting in the huge loveseat. _There's something I need to show you.  
_Alice then showed me a vision of Bella and me walking to my Volvo, without Alice, tomorrow afternoon.

'Why are you not in that vision, Alice?' I asked her, confused, but also suspicious.

She raised her shoulders and formed a perfect "o" with her mouth. _I don't know_, she lied – I knew it, she wasn't sincere at all.  
At first I hadn't noticed when Alice had learned how to lie to me in her thoughts, but after a while, I had began to notice when she was lying and it was becoming increasingly difficult for her.

She sighed and stood, walking over to the couch – where I was sitting – and sat next to me, wrapping her petite arms around me. 'Edwaaaard,' she whined. 'just go on a date with Bella, you know you want to!'

My eyes became huge at that comment. _A date?_ 'A date!' I roared and flew up from the couch, growling and hissing at Alice.

_Wow, I wouldn't have thought that you'd react this way, even with my "Foresight". _'Don't be a baby, Edward!'

_He _is_ a baby and always _will be_. Aren't you, Eddie?_ Rosalie thought and I rolled my eyes.

'Alice, I can't _date_ Bella. I would kill her, let alone that she wouldn't even want to go on a date with me.'

Alice shook her head pitifully with a smug grin on her face. 'Oh, believe me, Edward, she wants to.'  
My eyes couldn't have possibly become any larger at that point and I ran out of the house – running towards Bella again.

Bella was mumbling softly when I climbed into her room and went to sit in the rocking chair once more – it undeniably had become a habit now.  
'Mom, I can't jump of the bridge; I'd die.' Bella muttered after a while and I chuckled quietly.

'I'll save you.' I told her; I knew by then that Bella responded to almost every comment I made when she was sleeping.  
She smiled then and mumbled: 'Thank you, Edward.'  
Every time Bella said my name, my heart filled with warmth and a feeling of pure joy.

The night went by fast and I wished for the sun to disappear, so I could watch her for eternity. It was a good thing that I could and wóúld spend the day with her – and apparently the evening too.

When I pulled up to the corner from Bella's street, I could hear the conversation between her and her father. 'You never talked about Edwin or Alexis before, are they your friends?' Chief Swan asked Bella and I noticed – another first – that his thoughts also weren't clear; they were present, but they were vague. _Edgar….Edmund…Ed-….._ He thought and I guessed he was trying to remember my name correctly. _Alesha…Alex…Ali-…._

Bella sighed and I watched in Chief Swan's mind as she dropped her head into her palms. 'First of all: their names are Ed_ward_ and Al_ice_. And I don't really know if they're my friends.'

She didn't even consider me – nor Alice for that matter, but she had only talked to her for a few seconds – as a friend…  
All my hopes plummeted to the ground and I felt my heart throb under the weight of her rejection.

Chief Swan didn't think that sounded all too good, but he had to leave for work and he sincerely disliked himself for it. 'Bells, I have to go. I'll see you tonight, okay?  
Be safe!' He yelled while he shut the door behind him and drove away in his car.

I pulled into the driveway as soon as he was out of ear- or eye contact.  
Bella peeked through the curtains at my car and she started rushing immediately. Her heart was already pounding loud when she wasn't even in my car yet – when her heart normally sped up.  
This lit the candle that was my _hope_ once more and I felt the weight being lifted from my heart slightly.

After a few minutes, Bella practically flew outside and into my car.  
She looked beautiful: her chocolate brown hair was flowing out in curls on either sides of her face, her thoughtful eyes were glowing and she dressed in a blue, silky dress that was fairly short for Bella's normal dress style and the time of year.

My eyes almost bogged out of their sockets at the sight of her.

She sat down in the passenger seat and closed the door quietly. 'Good morning!' She said gleefully and grinned at me. The weight was instantly gone and I felt my body sing with hope yet again.

'Good morning.' I responded and backed out of the driveway. 'How did you sleep?' I asked carefully, making sure my question did not give her a hint.

'Why are you so interested in my sleeping?' Bella asked, the smile still present on her face, and quirked an eyebrow at me.

I raised my shoulders. 'Everything about you interests me.' I answered and I clenched my jaw, realizing I had slipped – not only in a dangerous way, but also in a human way, the human kind of slip that had given her an indication of my feelings towards her. I gulped.

Bella appeared temporarily stunned and I coughed, bringing her back to reality. 'I slept just fine.' She whispered and looked down at the floor, blushing furiously.

'Dreamed about anything in particular?' I joked, knowing in detail what she had dreamed about: me. A wide smile spread across my face.

Bella bit her lip and stared at me like I knew something I wasn't supposed to, which was true.

We arrived at school then and I parked the car noticeably far away from the school entrance. I swiftly made my way around the car to open Bella's door; she blinked when she saw me opening her door and stared at me with an incredulous expression on her face.

I closed the door behind Bella and shuffled forward, walking next to Bella and gathered the courage to ask her _the question_; if there was any time to use my "charms", it was now. 'I have to ask you something.' I whispered and Bella smiled encouragingly at me.

'Alice will not be accompanying us this afternoon and I was wondering if…you would still like to go…with me… I completely understand if you don't-'

Bella whipped her head around and interrupted me: 'As in a date?' Her tone was incredulous and I didn't understand; did she think I'd never ask her on a date, or didn't she believe I actually dared to do that?

'Yes,' I stared into her eyes with as much intensity as I could. _Please, say yes._ 'as in a date.'

Bella almost jumped three metres into the air and my hands automatically reached out for her; did she hurt herself? 'I'd love to.' She whispered back and I stopped dead.

'Told you so!' I heard Alice whisper somewhere in the background and I chuckled.

'Are we still going to Port Angeles, after school?' She asked me, but these were details.

She had said _yes_ to _me_! Hope filled my body from the tips of my toes until the ends of the hairs on my head. She liked me…and more than a friend. She wanted to _date_ me – even though I had never dated before and it was not something I would have ever done, I was thrilled.

'If you want to go somewhere else, we can. Or we can stay if Forks if you'd like that?' I'd rather not stay in Forks, but it had to be Bella's choice at this point.

I was deciding far too much for her.

She scrunched her nose up and shook her head. 'No, Port Angeles sounds great.' _Good._ I knew exactly where I was taking her.

The bell rang then and we had to part ways, my heart ached at the thought of having to leave her once more – I was falling deeper into love with this girl every passing minute and there was no way of stopping it. 'I'll see you in Biology.' I turned then and stalked off to my first class – watching Bella stare after me in the minds of others.

* * *

I_ hope you love it - just like I did!_

_the next chapter is ofcourse going to be about the date;P (and there's gonna be a twistythingie...agaaaaain..love it!)_

_btw: YES, i know it isn't really Edward's thing to go on a date, but I just wanted them to have a "almost" normal date and not let Bella get almost-raped in Port Angeles...I didn't really like that part.._

_but...beware...maybe something else's going to happen:O?_

_**review!pleeeease**_


	14. Chapter 5: Date Part 1

_I wanted to post something for you guys, so here it is! The first part of "Date", how appropriate.._

_I L-L-L-LOVE THIS CHAPTER, I've wanted them to go on a date since the beginning..._

_I thínk this chapter is also going to have 4 parts, otherwise the other parts will be quite long.._

_I'll post something as soon as possible (quite busy with school)!_

_enjoy!_

* * *

**Date**

Since I had a lot of free time on my hand during the classes I didn't have with Bella, I started thinking about the inconsequential again.

My days consisted of two parts those days: the Bella-part, the good part, the wonderful part and the other part, which was dull and pointless.

I wasn't only in love with Bella; I was close to being obsessed! I watched her every move in the minds of others during the classes I was away from her – whenever boys got near her, I hissed or growled, making my classmates shy away in fear.

Bella was everything for me. I didn't mind in the slightest though – she was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

'Earth to Edward,' Emmett mumbled during English. I had bored a hole in the wall with my fixated stare, but Emmett didn't truly mind. He loved the new me, he didn't only have a much happier brother, but he could also make fun of me more easily, which also kept him quite content. He leaned over to whisper something in my ear then, but I kept my concentration on Bella. 'Edward, Alice told me you're going to kill Bella this afternoon and that's why she didn't want to go.'

My mind snapped at that and I growled aloud. 'Whát?' I hissed at him and my seat crashed onto the floor with a loud "bang".

'Excuse me, Mr. Cullen. Is there a problem, or can we continue class?' Miss Hoffsher told me with an irritated glare.

I nodded and picked my seat up from the floor and sat on it again – trying to calm myself with breathing in and out slowly.

'Relax,' Emmett chuckled and gave a mock-punch on the shoulder. 'I was just trying to get your attention.'

I sighed and returned my attention to Bella, leaving Emmett irritated at my behaviour. _That girl better be funny, otherwise I'm going to kill…someone._

During our lunch break, Bella was asking me a lot of question and had become more careful about answering them and how. I refused to let her in more on the secret that I was and kept.

_She shouldn't know, _when Bella seemed to take some time to think of another question to ask.

Bella blushed then and I whipped my head around to inspect her. She stared straight into my eyes then and leaned across the table, towards me. 'I don't think your sister likes me very much.' She whispered and directed her eyes to the table, the corners of her mouth turning down.

I shook my head at her comment, walked around the table and sat next to her on the chair, turning it towards her. The chair scraped across the floor and I saw Bella eyeing me. 'Bella,' I breathed and lifted her face with my index finger, levelling my eyes to hers. Her skin was so warm and soft, I marvelled at the texture and moved my finger a centimetre to feel her skin beneath my fingertip. This position we were in: her face across from mine, looking into each other's eyes and her lips…so close….did strange things to my body and I tried to shake it of immediately. 'don't mind Rosalie, she doesn't realize what a wonderful person you are.'

Bella opened her mouth, but closed it quickly and averted her eyes from me.

I carefully removed my finger from her face and it stung with electricity.

'You can't start with saying something and then stop.' I told her and her eyes grew in size – I prayed that was a good thing.

'I-I..' she stuttered and breathed in shakily. 'I wanted to ask-'

The bell rang then and I growled, jumping up from my seat.

Bella looked up at me in shock and I smiled gently – _oops_. 'Sorry,' I mumbled and without realizing it, I stroked her face with the back of my left hand – without my permission it had made it's way up to her face!  
The feeling of her face against my hand was incredible though and for just a fraction of a second, I felt Bella lean into my touch. I pulled my hand back then and turned, walking away from her.

_What is wrong with you!_ I shouted at myself, while I turned around and walked backwards out the cafeteria-exit while calling: 'I'll be waiting by my car. Try not to kill yourself while I'm not with you, please!'

The afternoon had taken longer than I had expected, but when the time of the last bell came, time couldn't have gone faster.

I was out the classroom, through the hallway, at my locker, out of the school with my jacket slung over my shoulder and at my car within thirty seconds – it was a good thing that the halls had been almost empty, because I had been walking rather fast, faster than normal humans at least.

'Have fun!' I heard Alice say, from somewhere within the school. _Good luck, Alice really doesn't want you to kill her so….please don't!_ Jasper thought desperately at me and he actually thought: _Wink!_ My jaw dropped at that, Jasper was definitely enjoying the happiness Alice and I were exerting.

After a few long minutes, Bella stormed out of the school and searched the parking lot with her eyes. She saw me after she had scanned the parking lot two times and I could see her blush – although she was about 100 metres away, not that it mattered due to my vampire eyesight. 'Relax, Bella.' I suddenly heard her whisper and I tried my hardest not to laugh at her – she thóúght I couldn't hear her.

She slowed her pace suddenly and my her breathing picked up, she kept going at that slow, exasperating pace until she reached my car.

I opened the passenger door for her and smiled my crooked smile at her.

'Thank you.' She told me before stepping into the car. I ran to the other side of the car and got in immediately – her mystified expression told me she hadn't seen me move so quickly.

'Are we still going to Port Angeles?' I ensured and chuckled slightly at her nervousness, even though it wasn't amusing me in the slightest; what if she was frightened, what if she didn't want to be with me, what if she had changed her mind after all?

'I hope so.' She mumbled truthfully and stared into my eyes with an intensity that shocked me.

The car ride with Bella was both excruciating and wonderful.  
Every time she spoke, it sent electricity throughout my whole body and every time she looked at me, I felt at piece with everything and I couldn't imagine life – or non-life in my case – getting any better.

The excruciating part was getting less and less; my craving for her blood seemed to dull just as much as my love for her grew every passing minute.

After about 15 minutes into the drive, Bella glanced at the speedometer and I noticed her wincing at the speed. She apparently shook it of though – which impressed my, since it were her principles – but I still wanted to comfort her and as some kind of consolation, I let the needle go down a notch.

When we arrived in Port Angeles, I didn't go to the restaurant I had in mind right away, but I decided we should make a stop somewhere first.

I parked my Volvo under the shade of a big pine tree and ignored Bella's confused look. I opened her door and leaned into the car, my face centimetres away from her. 'I'll be _right_ back.' I murmured and had to pull myself away from her.

I walked up the short paved pathway until I reached an old shack-looking building and entered, hearing a bell as I did.

'Good afternoon,' an old woman behind the counter said and smiled kindly at me. 'are you looking for something?'

I nodded and smiled back at the woman, trying not to scare her. 'Actually, I hoped that you had a blue rose.'

The woman's eyes glinted with joy and she went into the back of the small store. After a short moment she came back out and was holding a beautiful blue rose, but also a white one.

'That'll be $1,95 and you get the white one for free.'

I shook my head. 'No, that's fine. Thank you, but I don't think-'

She interrupted me: 'Young man,' she lectured and I chuckled. 'I've walking around long enough to know who needs what at what time! And you, my boy, need two roses: one for when you enter the car and one,' she put the roses between my open hands. 'for when you leave tonight.'

I put $50,- on the counter and turned around, to swiftly leave the store – making sure she didn't notice it was that much money until I was long gone.

I went to sit in the driver's seat and smiled at Bella – the sight of her, her beauty, filling my mind. 'This is for you.' I reached out to give the white rose to her and started the engine.

'Edward, it's beautiful.' She whispered, delight spilling out of her voice.

She laid her hand upon my arm and leaned over, she hesitated when she was about 20 centimeters away from me and leaned back into her seat. 'Thank you.' She said wholehearted.

Had she wanted to kiss me?

* * *

_Oooooh!_

_Did Bella just bend over to kiss Edward? I LOVE THIS! (talk about a cliffhanger btw, I really am teasing you guys)_

_so, the next part is going to be all about the date. how fun is that?_

**_REVIEW!please!_**


	15. Chapter 5: Date Part 2

_SORRY, MY POOR NEGLECTED FANFICFANS!_

_but here it is and I l-l-l-ove it!_

* * *

On the way to the restaurant, Bella silently smelled her flower and blushed furiously.

I didn't even notice the smell of the flower due to her intoxicating scent. It filled the car completely and there was no way of ignoring it - not that I wanted to.

Somehow, I had developed a liking for the ache that continued to burn my throat.

I parked in the last parking space left next to La Bella Italia, the restaurant we were - if it was up to me - going to eat.

Bella beamed at the sight of the "Bella Italia" sign and I chuckled.

Within a fraction of a second I got out of the car, grabbed my jacket from the trunk and opened Bella's door. She gasped when she saw me, but quickly composed herself.

She tried to step out the car gracefully, but, somehow, she slipped.

Without the necessity of moving I caught her and pulled her into my embrace. Suddenly, with her in my arms, I felt whole...as if the whole world made sense.

After two seconds of intense eye contact, I realized what I was doing and set Bella back on her feet immediately. I gritted my teeth and walked in front of her to the entrance.

My head drooped and I could see Bella blush from the corner of my eye. That blush was one of my many favorite things about her – I couldn't think of something that wásn't one of my favorite things about her though.

I opened the door for her again, making sure she got used to the idea of being treated well, and let Bella lead us inside.

When we entered, the girl standing by the door breathed in sharply.

_Who is _he_? _

_Wow...um...I...he really is...wow.._ Her thoughts weren't exactly coherent and I coughed, gaining her attention.

_Please, let that be his cousin!_ She begged internally and glared at Bella.

Instinctively, I slightly leaned in front of Bella and I felt a growl clawing its way up my throat.

'A table for two, please?' I asked curtly, the growl unnoticeable in my voice – I hoped.

From my peripheral vision I saw Bella frown and I wondered why.

_Even his voice sounds wonderful...I wonder what those lips taste like..._

I grimaced and Bella frowned again, but it seemed more like confusion now..or...suspicion?

The irritating girl led us to a table in the middle of the restaurant, without the slightest amount of privacy.

I shook my head and I watched as disbelief crossed the girl's face. 'Something more private perhaps?' I slipped her a tip and she faked a smile. _Guess it's not his cousin...he kind of looks scary though...wow, but scary..._ She gulped and her pace quickened - her brain worked, not like Bella's. _...but still..WOW!_

I rolled my eyes at her thoughts and once again Bella frowned - what was it with the frowning?

'This will be fine.' I told the girl when she turned at a booth in the back of the restaurant, smiling her fake smile again.

She nodded and backed away from us, as if she saw a lion. 'There will be a waitress with you in a few minutes, have a pleasant evening.'

I stared at Bella for a moment. That was how somebody was supposed to respond, why didn't Bella - not that I minded.

Bella sat down opposite to me and I wrapped my jacket around my chair. Then, as if I hadn't been paying attention to Bella at all, I noticed that she wasn't wearing a jacket nor carrying one with her.

'Aren't you cold?' I asked her and folded my hands on the table.

She shook her head, but eyed my jacket at the same time. 'Aren't you?' She asked me and it seemed like she was enjoying some private joke.

Suspicion crossed my face and I pushed at the invisible barrier that was hiding her thoughts from me. 'No.' I answered flatly and passed her my jacket.

At first she bit her lip and it looked like she wanted to refuse, but when I literally pushed my jacket into her lap she accepted it.

'Thank you.' She whispered while I held her gaze in mine.

She pulled the jacket on and took a deep breath while sliding the sleeves up.

I pulled one eyebrow up, but didn't question her about it.

The waitress was at our table then, but I ignored her; Bella was far more important. 'Good evening, can I get you some drinks first, or are you ready to order?' The waitress asked, looking at me and not paying any attention to Bella.

'Bella?' I smiled at her and she snatched the menu from the basket on the table.

She scanned the menu and smiled at the waitress. 'I'd like a coke and the mushroom ravioli, please.' She told her politely and the waitress nodded, while scribbling something on a piece of paper.

Bella glanced at me then with a suspicious glint in her eyes.

'I'm fine, thank you.' I told the waitress and returned my eyes to Bella.

Bella's face was flushed and I couldn't help but smile.

The waitress couldn't have been more disappointed at my lack of attention for her. _You've got a boyfriend...I could leave a note with my phone number on the table though._

My eyes popped and Bella giggled, seemingly enjoying my shocked face.

'I'll be back later with your order, but isn't there _anything_ I can get you?' The waitress offered for me and I rolled my eyes at her thoughts. If only she knew...

'No, thank you.' I answered and the waitress walked off, irritated and embarrassed at her display.

Bella laughed softly while biting a breadstick.

'What are you laughing at?' I asked teasing and leaned forward over the table.

Bella mirrored my movements and her gaze burned into mine. 'Her; but mainly your reaction.

Even though it isn't really funny that she's all over you.' She rephrased, her voice trailing off at the end of her last sentence.

I smiled at her jealousy. The idea of Bella being jealous because of me sent a thrill through my body.

'Believe me,' I breathed and leaned a bit back. 'I wasn't paying attention to her.'

She gulped and also leaned back against the chair for support.

I remembered the girl's thoughts and I rolled my eyes once more.

'You know,' Bella began slowly and nibbled on a breadstick again. 'you do that a lot.'

'What do I do a lot?' I asked her and raised an eyebrow.

She thought about what to answer. 'Well, let's just say I have another thing to add to my list.'

I sighed, but realized that sooner or later it had to come to this. 'Do you have any more theories yet?' I asked and smiled crookedly.

Bella nodded and just before I wanted to coax her into telling me, the waitress walked up to our table.

She set the coke and the plate with ravioli in front of Bella. 'There you go, enjoy.'

I mentioned with my hands for Bella to start eating and she immediately dug in.

Her eyes shimmered when she tasted the food and she took a sip of her coke. It all smelled disgusting.  
'Does it taste good?' My question sounded a little off, like I actually expected it to be horrible.

She smiled at me and swallowed. 'Yes, it's delicious, but,' she smiled once more. 'you were saying?'

Did she want to talk about her theories? _Otherwise she wouldn't have brought the subject up.._

'Do you have any more theories?' I tried to smile and act casual, but the tension in my body and face gave me away.

She nodded, but continued to sip on her coke. She was trying to drive me insane and definitely succeeding. 'Bella..' I almost growled and the smile on her lips grew bigger in reaction.  
I chuckled. What normal human would _smile_ when a vampire – nearly – growls at them? Oh, right: Bella.  
She put the coke back on the table and bit her bottom lip. 'What?'

'Your reactions are always…surprising.'

She raised her eyebrows at me. 'What's so surprising about them?'  
'Normal humans don't respond like that.' I answered without thinking.

Instantly, when her eyes became small slits, I knew what I had said wrong…this was worse than a slip..  
My guard was slowly coming up again and I tried to punch it back down; this wasn't the time to distance myself from her.

'Normal…húmans?' She asked and I looked down at my folded hands.

After a short silence, Bella reached her hand out to mine and I pulled back instantly. She shouldn't touch my hands..it would repulse her, I was so cold and hard.

I looked up then and there was hurt in her eyes, but before I got a chance to ask her what was wrong, she spoke: 'You can trust me, I promise.' Her brown eyes were burning into mine with that incomprehensible intensity.

'I know.' I responded and put my hands back on the table. 'I do trust you…but this truly isn't my secret to share.'  
I was actually admitting to her that I was something…else…than human! What was wrong with me?

She considered that for a second. 'Well, it wouldn't be your fault if I guessed it, right?'  
She had to be kidding me.  
'Bella, it doesn't work like that….we're not kids…I-'

She bit her lip. 'I'm almost there, I just need a last push.'

I laughed at that. 'And what would that last push be?'

She grinned wickedly. 'You.'

I frowned at that. 'What are your theories?' I asked, not wanting to spin around the subject anymore.

She blushed and I laughed loudly.  
'You were so brave just a few seconds ago.'  
She bit her lip. 'I guess I lost my courage.'

I smiled at her and the tension in her shoulders seemed to evaporate. 'Do you _have_ any new theories?' I probed.

She nodded. 'I searched on Google again and some things seemed to fit better…though not completely – yet.'

'Yet?' I asked cautious.

'I have some questions for you, of course.'  
I rolled my eyes. _Of course_. 'You can go first and I'll answer in between.'

She bit her lip, but seemed to like the plan. 'I searched for cold,' she gave me a questioning look, but I didn't respond – better not feed her mind. She frowned at my lack of response, but continued anyway. 'never mind.  
I searched for a long time, I tried books, Google and even a chat room.' She giggled at the memory. 'My computer crashed.'

I chuckled – didn't see that one coming, _uhum_.

'Eventually, I found some interesting things…but they didn't quite fit.'

'Because?' I probed once more.

'Because of the eye color,' before I had the time to stop myself, my jaw had dropped the tiniest amount. Nobody would have noticed, except Bella; she smiled devilishly and she pushed her index finger onto the table. 'and some other inconsequential things.'

Right then and there, something clicked inside her head and also in mine.

She knew.  
I knew that she knew.  
And she knew that I knew that she knew.

* * *

WAS THIS GOOD OR WHAT?

**_REVIEW!XXX_**


	16. Chapter 5: Date Part 3

**_I am so sorry!_**_ I really am! I had "testweek" this week, so I didn't expect that I wouldn't have ANY time to write for this story, but I'm totally back again (even though it has only been 12 days hehe)_

_SO, here we go again...(it's a short one, but I wanted to post something for you guys)_

_I really like it and I hope you do too!_

* * *

After trying to repossess my own body for a while, I tried to regain my focus on the world once more – my world: Bella. 'And what are those…inconsequential things then?' I asked while she gingerly sipped on her coke.

She considered that for a moment and seemed to mull over what she was going to answer me for a few seconds – probably filtering out the "crazy" parts. 'You,' she stared into my eyes, but before I could read the emotions in her eyes, she looked away. 'and this,' she pushed the sleeves from my jacket up again. 'and this,' she pointed towards the rose. 'and _this_.' Her palms turned up towards the ceiling and she frowned.

_This?_ 'What does my jacket have to do with your theory?' I asked confused.

She softly laughed her musical laugh and stared at me with a doubtful expression, like I was missing the somehow obvious point. 'It's not your jacket,' she continued after a while. 'it's the way you act, the things you do…..'  
'And the things you do to people….and me.' She mumbled, probably thinking that I wouldn't hear her, while looking away to another table.

I couldn't help myself and laughed out loud, but was also curious and kept that comment in mind for later – _what_ did I do?

'What does tha-' I began but Bella interrupted me.

'I thought that I was going to tell the story and you'd answer my questions in return, but if you want to turn it around..' She drifted off and smiled at my suddenly very serious expression.

'No, please continue.'

She set the coke down and eyed her plate. Suddenly she looked up at me with a wicked glint in her eyes and I immediately froze. _What had she realized?_

Unexpectedly, she pierced a few ravioli with her fork and shoved it roughly inside her mouth, chewing quickly and swallowing. 'This is really good,' she said almost immediately and I doubted that she had actually tasted the food properly. 'you should try some.'

_Oh_, so that was what the glint in her eyes was for.  
This was bad; if I didn't eat some of the food now, I was going to confirm her suspicions, but if I díd eat the food she would probably urge me to eat more.

She waited patiently for me to respond, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

'I'd rather not.' I told her and for once she did exactly what I expected her to do.  
She pursed her lips, but tried to cover it with a smile. 'Are you sure? It's really good.' She pushed and I rolled my eyes.

'Please, just eat, Bella.' I sighed and leaned back against the chair.

For about ten minutes we continued to stare at each other while Bella ate.

When the plate was empty she pushed it forward on the table and smiled hugely. 'That was delicious.' She told me.

I smiled at her, but I was too tense to try and act casual. 'Are you ready to leave?' I asked her and she nodded.

While Bella proceeded to stand up and grab the rose, I quickly made my way to the front of the restaurant and paid – knowing that Bella would object if she made it over to the front in time.  
Just as swift I made my way back to Bella and was beside her again just when she was about to walk away from the booth.

When I reached her I smiled at her and she smiled back. 'Let's go.' Bella urged and she clutched the rose between her hands.

Again, I opened the door for her and let her lead us out – she shivered at the sudden change in temperature. She peeked at me to check if I wasn't cold, but I didn't even act like I was cold – she knew.  
I groaned and Bella frowned in response.

Opening the passenger side door for her, Bella's hands brushed across mine for a second and her warmth and the electricity flowing between us stunned me.

I slowly walked around the car and went to sit in the driver's seat, closing the door a little harder than necessary.

I waited for her to talk, to finally let this tension between us evaporate by sharing her thoughts, but she didn't.

The whole way back to Forks Bella remained quiet and _she_ seemed like she was waiting for _me_ to start the conversation once more. 'Bella,' I said softly and she gulped. 'will you continue, please?'

Her breathing quickened a bit when she looked up at me and grasped my jacket a little tighter. 'Then, yesterday, when I was about to give up…I decided…I decided it didn't matter.' Her voice was truthful and full of trust - trust I didn't deserve.

'It didn't matter?' I repeated a little loud and she nodded.  
'You don't care about me being a monster, or the possibility of that I could _kill_ you?'

Her lips parted and she bent her body to face me. 'You aren't a monster.' She said, a hint of anger beneath a load of empathy.

'I ám! I am dangerous, please, Bella, grasp that!' I stared at her angelic, scared, face and tried to hold myself back.

She shook her head feverishly and bit her lip. 'No. It's too late.'

_Too late?_ _Too late for what?_ Had she also fallen for me, was that why there was no turning back?

No! I wouldn't be her end. _She will have a life!_

'Never say that.' I hissed and I felt the steering wheel crack beneath my strength.

Bella stared out the window next to her.  
After a long silence, Bella's breathing turned a little ragged and she started shaking a bit.

'Bella?' I asked, before I saw a single tear slide down her cheek.

I had made her cry.  
I had made the most important person to me – ever – cry.

I reached out to her and I felt very human at that moment…but I realized I wasn't and pulled back again. 'Bella, I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what to do..'

She turned in her seat and faced me. 'Nothing.' She answered my question and I knew at that moment that she was right.

For a while we talked about things that Bella liked to do in her spare time and things _I_ liked to do in mine.

'Bella,' I began after a while. 'are you truly not scared of me, in any way?' I asked, but couldn't bear to look her in her eyes, afraid myself that I might find answers I didn't want to see or know.

She shook her head. 'But, I am curious though,' She quickly told me and grinned.

'Go ahead.' I sighed, but smiled at her eagerness to know things about me nonetheless.

She grinned even wider and repositioned herself in the car seat. 'Can you walk in the sunlight?' She questioned and suddenly she was tentative, whispering.

I chuckled. 'Yes.' She was actually quite surprised to hear that, but I continued quickly: 'Even though we would definitely stand out.'

Her eyes became even more curious at that and she bit her bottom lip.  
'Maybe I'll show you some day.' I didn't know what possessed me to say that, but I knew it was the truth.

'Do you sleep in coffins?'  
She had watched too many movies, but I was certain now that she knew what I was and she still didn't seem scared. 'No.' Again, an answer that I had to elaborate on. 'Mainly because we don't sleep.'

Her eyes grew wider at that and she caught herself with her mouth open. I chuckled. 'Really?' She questioned and I nodded solemnly.

She still hadn't gotten to the most important question though and I was kind of glad that she hadn't asked me that…

This one question could ruin the friendship – sigh – that we had in one instant.

'Another thing...sometimes, I swear, it seems like you..'

'Read minds?' I blurted out without thinking and wanted to slap myself across the head. The one thing that was still a secret and I decide to tell her that _too_!

What was wrong with me?

'Yes!' She responded happily. 'Is that normal for…' she trailed off and blushed.

'Vampires?' I told her. The word hung in the air for a while, before Bella finally broke the silence.

'Yes. Vampires.' She said quietly, making herself speak the word she seemed to dread – as did I.

'No, it isn't. Some of us have special gifts, that – according to my father, Carlisle – we inherited from our human lives, which are, much like our strength, speed and our other senses and abilities, amplified.

I can read minds, of everyone…except…you.' She smiled shyly at that, seemingly enjoying that I couldn't access her thoughts.

'Alice, my sister, can see the future and my brother Jasper can feel and manipulate the emotions of others.' I explained and she listened intently.

The rest of the ride to Forks, Bella questioned me on and on about our abilities, the "what"s and "what-not"s of being a vampire and other inconsequential things.

* * *

_did you like it?_

_**PLEASE REVIEEEEW!**_

_**xx**_

(the next chapter is going to be so much fun, we're gonna see more "Bella-Edward-Relationship"stuff maybe)_**  
**_


	17. Chapter 6: Maybe Part 1

**_Hi you guys! This isn't a very short one, but also isn't very big..it's just normal.._**

**_I still really like it though and hope you do too, but before I start.._**

**_I DIDN'T GET ANY REVIEWS FOR THE LAST PART!  
If it wasn't good or if you guys think I'm going in the wrong direction with this story, please tell me, cuz then i'll be able to take it somewhere else before it's already too far in.._**

******_So: REVIEW PLEASE! xxx _**

* * *

**Maybe**

The rest of the evening, Bella kept stunning me with the lack of fear she held for...well anything!

Everything about me that was wrong and dangerous, she had found a way to make it 'good' somehow. I knew that was also wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to make Bella understand properly.

I truly didn't want to scare her – but I was beginning to wonder, could I?

Bella wasn't scared of anything that involved being a vampire, because _I_ was a vampire. I knew this meant...something, but I didn't dare to…hope…

_Maybe…just maybe…._ I cut that thought short before it settled into my mind.

'What are you thinking?' Bella asked, her lips slightly parted while she rested her head on her hands, with her elbows on both of her knees.  
We had been sitting on the porch of her house for a while now and nobody had yet made a move to get up.

'Am I not supposed to ask that question?' I asked and even though it may have sounded like a joke, I meant it.  
'Maybe.' She considered that for a moment, seeming to mull over another question. 'But you didn't answer me.' She gazed up at me with her liquid brown eyes and I sighed.  
'I was thinking about today..and tomorrow.' I answered, gazing at the moonlit sky like it held the answers to all my questions.  
'Well,' she began carefully, her fingers tapping against each other nervously. 'today hasn't ended yet and tomorrow…what about tomorrow?' Her eyebrows knitted together in frustration as to why tomorrow could possibly be important to me at this moment.

I laughed silently at her frustrated expression.  
My hand stretched out to her face and before I could stop myself I was caressing her cheekbone with the back of my hand.

She leaned into my touch and the warmth burned my hand – in the most pleasurable way imaginable. 'You're right. Today hasn't ended yet…' I trailed off, the sentence hanging in the air, creating pressure on us both.

Bella shivered and I pulled my hand back immediately. 'I'm sorry.' I whispered, but she was instantly shaking her head.

'No! That wasn't…why…I…uhm..' She blushed fiercely and let her hair fall in front of her face.

'Please, don't,' I whispered and placed a few strands of hair back behind her shoulder. 'don't hide yourself from me.'

Bella stared up at me and our eyes locked. Time seemed to stop, it was as if the whole world disappeared and we were the only ones left.

Only Bella and I..

We were leaning towards each other in dangerous ways that I knew I shouldn't allow.  
I didn't seem able to stop myself from letting my face inch closer and closer towards Bella's.  
_STOP!_ I yelled at myself in my mind.

Bella was too frail…too precious, too wonderful to even be allowed to be touched by someone like me. I would be the end of her.

I leaned away from Bella and a look of hurt instantly crossed her face.

I stood, extending my hand towards Bella in a very human gesture. 'It's getting late and Charlie will be here pretty soon.' I told her.  
She frowned, but also stood and walked towards her front door. 'Yeah, you're probably right.' She sighed and unlocked the door.

I walked up to her and her warmth flooded me like a crashing wave. 'Bella,' I breathed in a husky tone and my hand was caressing her face again. 'I was wondering…if maybe…'

Her heart stopped beating for a second or two and I had to lock my jaw before I snapped and tried to perform CPR, but it picked up pace again in double time and I sucked in another unnecessary breath. 'If maybe you'd like to see me again, tomorrow.  
If you don't have plans already.' I added and realized that _of course _she would have plans.

She was a human with a life and I shouldn't expect her to put that on hold for me.

Unexpectedly though, she nodded wildly and I couldn't stop the wide smile from crawling upon my face. 'I'd love that!' She exulted and also grinned from ear to ear then.

'Great,' the word didn't even come close to what I was feeling at that time. 'at what time should I be here?'  
'As soon as possible.' She responded immediately and blushed scarlet when her words caught up with her thoughts.  
'Won't you want to sleep in?' I asked carefully, I would love nothing more than to spend as much time with Bella – with her also conscious of me being there – but _normal_ teenagers usually wanted to sleep in on weekends.

She considered that for a moment. 'Do you?'  
I wanted to laugh at that question, but I just stared at her with an incredulous expression.

She stared at me for a while, confusion clearly visible in her eyes.

After a few seconds she laughed out loud. 'Woops, right, I forgot…um…I don't.'  
'All right then,' I answered happily. 'I'll be here bright and early tomorrow.'

I caressed her cheek once more for an immeasurable moment and I placed the other rose in her hand at the same time.  
In the same second I was in my car and driving away from her.

So many emotions and feelings were coursing through me…

Happiness.  
Pure bliss.  
Fear.  
Desire.  
Love.

Thankfully, the fear didn't win out on the other feelings and I continued in my own perfect bubble for a few more minutes.

When I parked the car in the garage, I noticed Alice leaning against the back wall.

I got out of the car and walked towards her, with each one of my steps her smile grew wider.  
'Edward!' She eventually screamed. 'I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I'm also kind of happy for myself, because now I will finally meet my new best friend. BUT, MAINLY, I'M HAPPY FOR _YOU_!'

_Can you please _tame_ that thing?_ Emmett thought from within the house and I chuckled

'Thank you, Alice.' I responded, trying to calm her somewhat.  
She looked down at the floor then and I instantly knew there was something amiss. 'Alice, what's wrong?' I asked and tried to keep my voice level, even though my mind was flying through the roof at the possibilities.

'Nothing, but I just thought you should know that the sun will be shining tomorrow.'

I nodded slowly, understanding the problem that the sun presented for me. 'Right, I'll have to change my plans then.'

Alice was hiding something from me, but I decided not to ask about it – perhaps some things are meant to be kept a secret.

_Bella is definitely changing me;_ I thought and chuckled at myself.

Alice suddenly stared into nowhere and I was engulfed in a vision of a sleeping Bella, but before I could see anything interesting I was blocked from Alice's thoughts and all I heard was: _Spain or Italy…Jasper never really liked Italy though.._

'Alice.' I grumbled, but she just smiled at me and danced into the house.

A few hours later, while I was reading the covers from Bella's books, she turned in her bed and I went to hide inside her closet.

She sat up in her bed and looked around her room, like she was searching for something. 'E-Edward?' She whispered and I almost came out of my hiding spot.

She shook her head and fell back against her bed. 'Your dreams are getting to you, Bella. Just _sleep_!'

After an hour or so, I finally dared to go back into the room and I went to sit in the rocking chair in the corner.  
As if she sensed me, Bella began mumbling in her sleep once more.

'Edward..I..'  
She didn't finish the sentence, but she looked incredibly happy, which made me feel content.

A large portion of the night Bella thrashed in her sleep and woke up two times, sweat dampening her forehead as she did – I had tried to wipe it off once, but she woke up shortly after and I decided against it the other time.

While she turned and thrashed, she also mumbled or gasped.

'Edward, please!' and 'Don't, please, don't!' she had said a few times and the fear was threatening to take over.

Bella probably had finally processed the fact that I was a vampire in her sleep..  
Would she still want to see me that morning, or ever?

When I was close to my breaking point, Bella mumbled 'Edward' and smiled hugely.

After that, she became quiet and I waited patiently for the morning to come.

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**_Didn't you just love it?_**

**_I'll hopefully post something t'morrow! _**

**_XXX REVIEEEEWW! PLEEEASE!_**


	18. Chapter 6: Maybe Part 2

_**So, once again this was one of my favorite chapter parts...haha. **_

**AND YES_, it IS partly (the surroundings and stuff) from Twilight, but I don't really think it is anywhere near the same though...  
I WILL post another chapter by tuesday! I PROMUSS!_**

* * *

That morning I was barely able to contain myself from knocking on Bella's door the first thing when she woke up, but I knew I had to wait.

Her father definitely wouldn't be happy if there was some boy in front of his door asking for Bella at 8 o'clock in the morning – or earlier.

When he finally left I raced onto the driveway, parked my car and flew to the front door of Bella's house.

_Calm yourself_… I chanted and I knocked on the door three times.

Inside the house I could hear Bella running around, her breathing and heartbeat faster than they should be.  
I heard her approach the door and then the anxiety hit me again. What if she didn't want me anymore - if she even wanted me to begin with?

Before the angst became too much I heard Bella stumble inside and a loud bang followed – I could just about imagine her falling flat-out on the floor.  
I gasped and for a second or so I was terrified, but almost instantly after she had fallen she groaned and stilled my worry.

I decided I shouldn't act and pretend that I hadn't noticed that she had fallen, but when she opened the door I couldn't contain my grin.

Bella's face was bright red and her hair was all around her face as she lightly brushed one strand of hair back behind her shoulder and barely managed to plaster a smile on her face.

'H-hi.' She huffed and I laughed out loud.

Her brow puckered and she pursed her lips as she took me in – shaking with laughter.  
'I'm sorry,' I managed to mutter and straightened myself, smiling gently at her. 'you just…look a bit flustered.'

She shrugged and opened the door a little wider at which joy flooded my body again.

She was letting me in; she was letting the _vampire_ inside her home!

When I entered, Bella eyed me from my shoes to my face and met my eyes. She blushed fiercely when she realized she was staring and broke free from my gaze. 'I have your jacket!' She suddenly blurted out and almost ran towards the living room. 'Yo-' she turned around and when she saw me already standing behind her she gasped and stumbled backwards.

I shot forward and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her back onto her feet and regrettably let go of her.

'Thanks.' She mumbled softly and shuffled her feet around while staring at my shoes. 'As I was saying,' she began silently and finally returned her eyes to mine. 'you forgot your jacket last night.'

I smiled at her wrongfully assumed thoughts. 'I didn't forget it.' I told her and smiled a crooked smile.

Her eyes became wide and her face went blank after that. 'Right…I…uhm…'  
Before I could become too worried about her mental health she regained herself and shook her head slightly. 'What did you want to do today?' She asked, but looked like she was still not fully aware of what was happening around her.

I motioned for her to sit on the sofa and I went to sit in front of her in the lounge chair. 'Well, I was wondering if you'd like to hike through the woods with me, since you seem to like that so much.' I muffled a chuckle and looked at her with a serious expression on my face.

Her lips parted and she seemed stunned as to what she was going to answer me and I chuckled despite of myself. 'Don't worry; you don't have to if you don't want to.  
It's just that there's a beautiful little place in the woods that I like to go when the weather's nice.' I added, trying to convince her somehow by the possibility for her to unravel another secret about me.

The wicked glint that suddenly appeared in her eyes seemed to me that she had thought exactly the same thing. 'I am really not a good hiker.' She whispered and stared embarrassedly into my eyes.

'I won't let you fall.' I promised her and chuckled once more.

She nodded then and stood. 'Do you want to go now?' She asked and instantly looked nervous.

'If that's okay with you?' I framed my answer like a question in response to her suddenly tense state. 'Is there something wrong?' I asked and my self-chastising side instantly thought she was afraid of being alone with me. Was she?

She nodded, still nervous, and turned around after which she stumbled her way into the kitchen. 'I'll just get something to drink and to eat,' she looked over her shoulder towards me then and laughed. 'for the human, you know.'

I watched Bella scurry around the kitchen, grabbing water bottles and candy from kitchen cabinets. After she had stuffed a backpack full of food and drinks, she proceeded to fling it onto her back.  
I rushed towards her and pulled it carefully from her back to fling it over my right shoulder. 'Thank you.' I frowned and shook my head at her disappointed – she still didn't grasp that I was raised to treat women with respect. She probably wasn't used to chivalry, but I was going to make her get used to it, because she would be seeing a lot more of that.

I shook my head at my careless thoughts.

'Let's go.' She ordered.  
'Yes, ma'am.' I winked.

She blushed fiercely and giggled at my wink – that wasn't like me, but Bella brought me happiness and made me feel careless.

I flitted in front of her to open the front door and also the passenger side door of my Volvo. Each time I moved as fast as I did, I expected Bella to at least show some surprise, but she just smiled or blushed, not seeming bothered by my inhuman ways at all.

The ride wasn't that long, but during that short while, Bella kept on staring at me and I couldn't help enjoying myself.

The logical and positive side of me was beginning to admit that Bella must feel at least somewhat of a physical attraction towards me and the negative side was growing smaller and smaller on that particular argument.

When we reached the end of the road and the start off for our hike, I got out of the car and opened Bella's door before she was able to do it herself.

'You are going to make me lazy.' She bit her lip and blushed a soft pink as she got out of the car.  
The temperature was, thankfully, starting to rise a little and I took off my sweater and tied it around my waist.

Bella was turned towards the forest a couple of meters away and she did the exact same thing as me, tying her sweater around her waist, exposing the soft skin of her arms.

_I shouldn't think like that about her…we could never….could we?_ I was beginning to wonder off into a world of the impossible, until I noticed that Bella had turned and was staring at my grey v-neck shirt.

Her lips were parted and her bottom lip was slightly jutting out, her eyes glazed over and her face expressionless. 'Are you all right?' I asked worried and was beside her within a fraction of a second.

She looked down at the ground when I seemingly materialized beside her.  
I levelled my face with hers and pushed her face up with my index finger under her chin, locking her eyes with mine.

She nodded then and laid her left hand upon my chest.

I swallowed and it looked like Bella snapped back into her own body. She pulled away immediately and turned around, her back to me. 'Let's go.' She said and I walked ahead of her, leading the way into the forest.

While we walked through the forest and across the forest floor, I was forced to help Bella multiple times. Sometimes with simple things: pulling away branches or bushes, but sometimes it was more difficult; I had to lift Bella by her elbow when we came across a fallen tree or something else in our straight path and sometimes I had to catch her when she'd manage to fall. These things shouldn't have been difficult for me, but each time I touched her another emotion shocked me or the electricity zinged through my body again.

Every few minutes or so, I asked a random question that I hadn't gotten to yet in the 'interrogation' of the past few days.

After quite a while, which seemed like absolutely nothing, we finally reached the meadow I was taking her. It was beautiful, but nothing compared to Bella.

Bella probably hadn't noticed the change in light, but when she stepped into the meadow she most definitely did.

She twirled around happily in the sunshine and marvelled at the beauty of the meadow.  
'Edward?' She called out then and looked around her, finally returning her gaze into the path we had just come from. 'Edward, are you-' I cut her off as she stepped closer towards me and held one finger up.

'Wait.' I told her, my voice rough with the tension of this important moment.

This was the border that separated Bella and me: sunshine and shadow, light and dark, day and night. She was all that was good and I was…bad.

And then I stepped out into the bright light of the sun.

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**_I'm sorry! I just had to put this piece from Twilight in it, I just love it way too much...the whole part in the meadow is going to be (almost) completely different though:_**

**_for one, because I hate most of the conversation taking place in the book there,_**

**_second, because I don't want my book to be an EPOV of Twilight, but something completely different._**

**_BUT DID YOU LIKE IT?_**

**_NOW, REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I really do love it when you do, _****_i__t makes my heart fly! (okay...weird, I know)_**


	19. Chapter 6: Maybe Part 3

**Hi!**

**So, I'm sorry I didn't post anything sooner...but I'll make it up by posting something again TOMORROW, but I have been REALLY busy and was actually quite tired in the evenings...**

**anywayyy...I really like this chapter..**

**just read it hehe**

* * *

Pools of brown...warm...

At some point in the afternoon, I had begun to watch Bella.  
She had laid down on the grass of the meadow and stayed there, almost unmoving, breathing in and out peacefully.

Her lids were closed – cutting me off of my only way into her mind and soul – and I was beginning to get irritated, but at the same time I was marvelling in her beauty.

Red tints were now showing in Bella's hair, which was usually chocolate brown as her eyes.  
Her beautiful, perfect lips were parted and I watched the air particles swirl around when she breathed in and out, breathing out the amazing scent that was hers into the air around us. The warmer air made her smell even more delicious…  
Her skin was becoming a bit more flushed than usual, because of the sun that was shining brightly on her face.

I was propped up on my left elbow, with my face leaning on my hand, and with Bella about 20 centimetres away from me.

My mind was stuck between wanting her to move away and wanting her to move closer. I was at an impasse.

Then, the angel that was Bella rolled over opened her eyes and looked straight into mine.

My mind decided then: _closer_.

I didn't though – that would have been dangerous.

I rolled onto my back then and closed my eyes, trying to push back the desires that I was experiencing.

Since Bella had stepped into the meadow – of course – she had done absolutely everything I hadn't expected her to.

When I first set one foot into the meadow, exposing my face and left arm to the sun, I immediately started to _sparkle_.

This constant reminder that I wasn't human…the sun…had always made me feel absolutely dreadful. But then Bella turned my whole world upside down and reversed absolutely every thought I had ever had about the sun and its effects on me.

When I was fully standing in the light of the sun and the millions of small-multicoloured rainbows were bouncing off my skin, I watched closely for any sign of fear or disgust on Bella's face.

After a few seconds I smiled and she instantly returned it, beaming at me.

Bella seemed happy…somehow…and awestruck.  
She stepped closer then, slowly and carefully, watching my face for my reaction to her closeness.  
I just smiled.

She studied my face for a while then, but when she adjusted her position – probably because of the discomfort from standing straight in the same position for so long – she proceeded to lay down on the comfortable grassy ground.

I followed suite, lying down beside her, propped up on my left elbow, while Bella enjoyed the sun – letting this sink in, I guess.

Something shocked me out of my daydream then.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Bella looking at me with tentative eyes. Her fingers were slowly trailing across my hand, spreading warmth throughout my hand and up my arm.

I didn't want her to stop, but I couldn't look away, not only was she too beautiful, but the feeling of her touching me sent shockwaves through my body.  
Bella stopped moving her fingers then, but kept them on my hand. 'Do you mind?' She asked and I detected a hint of insecurity in her voice.

'Not at all,' I answered smiling. 'you can't imagine how that feels.'  
She smiled at that and continued tracing the edges of my hand with her fingers.  
My ever-present fear made me wonder if shé didn't mind touching my hand – I was cold and hard – but her fingers seemed to like it there.

When she was done tracing the edges of my fingers and absolutely every inch of my hand, making me shiver once or twice, she took it in both of her hands – the heat now flowing through it, making me shiver again.

I resisted the urge of turning my hand around and let Bella do as she pleased, but it was harder than I expected it to be, I wanted her to continue so much that I had turned my hand around even without permitting myself to.

I opened my eyes and propped myself up on my elbow again, keeping my hand between hers.  
She looked a little stunned.

'I'm sorry,' I whispered and flashed the crooked smile she seemed to like, at which her expression and eyes went blank. 'it's just…' I trailed off, not knowing what to say to her; how would I explain everything to her, tell her I loved her? She must have known I loved her then, to me it was like it was in every word I said to her.

Bella "woke up" again then and smiled shyly at me, before continuing her path on my hand again.

I rested back against the grass once more and let myself get lost in the feelings of happiness.

After the minutes of Bella spreading pure bliss across my hand, she moved her fingers up to my forearm and I shivered slightly – instantly causing me to reprimand myself in my mind. Bella didn't stop this time though and I went back to feeling complete and utterly…happy.

Too soon, she pulled her hands back and I opened my eyes, wanting and needing her to continue.

I sat upright in front of her, our eyes at the same level. 'What are you thinking?' I mumbled and looked her straight in the eye.

Bella smiled and cocked her head to the side; her eyes flickered between the forest around us and my face, as if she didn't want to look at me for too long. 'Does it irritate you – that you can't read my mind?'

I groaned and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. 'That's an understatement.' Trying to read her mind one last time, narrowing my eyes in the process, I finally had to realize I was probably never going to and sighed.

The corners of her lips turned down at my sigh and she looked down at the grass. 'I was _thinking_ about today...and tomorrow.' She repeated my words from yesterday, a wicked grin slowly spreading across her face as she looked up again.

'And what were you really thinking?' I urged and leaned forward.

She stuttered for a bit, before also leaning closer as she inhaled. When she exhaled, I was instantly on the other side of the meadow.  
Her breath was like the most concentrated form of her scent and when I breathed it in, all my senses went into hunting-mode.

When Bella realized I was gone, she searched the meadow and her face fell as she saw me standing on the edge of the meadow. 'I'm sorry, Edward.' She mumbled softly and I watched as her hands began to tremble slightly.

I was beside her again in an instant – her scent assaulting me again. 'Don't be sorry, Bella.'

She looked up into my eyes and I saw the rejection in them. 'You were so close, I just couldn't…' I trailed off, the reality of that sentence pressing down on us both.

'What can I do? What can I do to make this easier?' She asked suddenly and her eyes smouldered. 'I don't want to make this any harder for you than it already is.'

I sighed and cupped her face in my right hand. 'It's nothing…' I paused for a second. 'I didn't expect you to come so close, humans usually avoid us, and the scent coming off your neck…' I trailed off again and Bella slid closer again.

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**sooo...did you like it?**

**the next chapter is going to involve the K-I-S-S..**

**ow, yes, they're gonna go smooochyyy**

**PLEASE REVIEW**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE**


	20. Chapter 7: Dreams and Nightmares Part 1

**HI! **

**Well, I'm back from Austria, skiing was definitely fun & since I had little time to write I only have one more chapter to give you guys. So, I'm very sorry. BUT, I'll try and get something posted again by tuesday. If I can't then I will post another part on wednesday! (promuss)**

**enjoy**

* * *

Feeling Bella so close to me was both nerve-racking and amazing at the same time. She was warming my face up just by sitting in front of me and that alone made me feel fantastic.  
There was one problem though; her closeness had caused my desire to rear its head up again, along with my instincts – both human and vampire.

Our gazes had been locked for a while now, besides Bella's occasional blinks, but Bella didn't seem to mind.  
Gradually – with occasional rushes – though, blood flushed her face and her scent began to fill the air around us.

I reached out then and barely grazed the back of my hand across her cheek.  
There were quite a few things shooting through my mind at that moment.

I was thinking how fragile Bella really was and how easily I could _shatter_ her. I was thinking how dangerous I was to Bella. I was thinking that I shouldn't do this – or anything at all. But, the most consuming thought, was about how wonderful her skin felt: warm and silky.

Blood coloured her face once more and I inched closer. I caressed her chin with my index finger and her face became a darker shade of red.

Bella's heart was racing, going faster and faster, as I leaned in closer.  
When our eyes were at the same level, she blinked twice and seemed to be stunned like before. Her heart stuttered, which worried me; each time I got close to me, her heart reacted in unhealthy ways.

_That could be a _good_ thing though_, I thought selfishly, but surprisingly no other part of me reprimanded myself for thinking it.

Slowly, I slid my nose across her chin, breathing in as I went down. Bella shivered in response and I pulled away instantly.

When Bella noticed that I had moved away though, she bit her lip and wound her hand through my hair. 'No…I didn't…' she trailed off and looked pained. 'I mean…' she let go of my hair then. 'Please, I kn-' I silenced her with my finger.

My finger on her lips instantly set my desires on fire again and I moved to where I had left off. 'I…understand.' I breathed against the skin of her throat, before breathing in through my nose.

I slammed my mouth shut at the same instant and locked my jaw, closing my eyes.  
Her scent set my throat on fire and I couldn't concentrate anymore, as I was using up every ounce of concentration I had with the effort of nót killing her right then and there.

After a few seconds of silence, I felt Bella's breath on my face. 'Edward? Edward, are you okay?' She asked, worry clearly audible in her voice.  
Her hand cupped my face then and I opened my eyes and found her right in front of me, her glorious face at the same level as mine. 'Edward?' She asked again, her worry not yet gone.

I couldn't help but lean into her touch; it felt amazing.

After a moment I continued once more where I had left off.  
Gently, I caressed the line of her collarbone with my left hand, while I slowly breathed in and out.

Bella did the same as I, as if she was also having difficulty with controlling herself.  
I slowly leaned in even closer, before resting my ear upon her chest.

The sound of her heartbeat overtook me, the most beautiful melody. I felt none of my vampire desires anymore.

The closer I got to Bella the stronger all my desires got, but somehow when I all but thought of her…all of my _wrong_ desires evaporated.  
That wasn't completely true though; there were quite a few desires inside of me that weren't exactly _right_ or safe for Bella – and therefore I couldn't express nor act to those desires.

My teeth were dangerously close to Bella's throat and I was fully aware of that the first time I breathed again.  
The scent was as intoxicating as ever and I was having great difficulty with pulling my scrambled thoughts together.

Bella was almost entirely still, probably trying to make this easier for me in some small way and I was grateful for it.

Finally, after an immeasurable moment, I managed to pull myself away from her.  
I sat upright across Bella and met her gaze, her lips parting.  
'Are you all right?' I asked when she still remained silent.

She nodded furiously and breathed: 'Yes.'

I chuckled and grabbed her hand, pulling it onto my cheek. 'Feel.'

At first Bella looked like she wanted to laugh, but after a moment a shiver ran through her body and just before I wanted to let go of her hand she tightened her grip on my face slightly.

She slid forward on the ground until her body was almost touching mine.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her warm, soft hand on my skin.

Her fingers fluttered across my cheek, leaving little burning paths of fire behind, and followed the line of my jaw.  
She slowly let them go down to my chin and traced the contours of it again and again, as if she was memorizing it. Then she continued her burning trail across my face and lightly touched the other side of my jaw until she reached my forehead.  
She caressed my eyelids and nose and I breathed in when her fingers were under my nose – letting her scent overtake me.

Then her fingers slowly touched my lips and I breathed out underneath her touch, parting my lips and exposing my teeth.

She pulled away then – too soon – and I was instantly afraid that I had done something wrong. Maybe she wás scared.

I opened my eyes and met her gaze – she was staring straight into my eyes. There was no fear in her eyes and I couldn't hold myself back when I moved forward, sliding closer to her and caressing her cheek with my hand.

'I'm sorry.' I whispered, but before I was able to continue, Bella shook her head confused and her lips parted, gaping like a fish on dry land.

'Sorry? Hów and _why_ are you sorry?' Understanding suddenly dawned on her face and slumped inward, her hands tightening into small fists. 'Are you sorry for bringing me h-here?' Her voice broke on the last part and I saw her lock her jaw.

'No!' I reprimanded instantly and shot forward grabbing her face between my hands. 'I'm not sorry for that, at all. I thought,' pain entered my voice. 'that maybe, you were scared.'

Unexpectedly she was grinning at me and shook her head, chuckling. 'Of course not.' She leaned into my touch then and laid her hand upon my chest. 'I definitely wasn't feeling scared.' Her eyes burned into mine; the warmth of her hand spreading through my chest made me shiver.

_Maybe…_ I thought like I had many times before.

Bella's face was still between my hands and I only had to move forward about 10 centimetres before our lips would touch.

Would she want me to kiss her – in the normal human way? Could I?

The whole world seemed to disappear then, leaving only Bella and I behind.

I slowly leaned my face towards hers while Bella remained perfectly still.  
Her breath entered my mouth and it was much more potent than her scent – it was pure agony and bliss at the same time.

I crossed the distance between us and finally our lips touched.

The feeling that completely enveloped me was nothing like I had ever felt before; I felt alive. Bella's lips were everything I had imagined and more. They were soft and silky and warm and perfect. Our lips locked together in a perfect fit, almost like they had been made for each other.

Bella's hands grabbed hold of my hair and pulled me in closer; I wrapped my arms around her in response.

Somewhere deep inside I knew this was wrong, but I couldn't manage to pull away from her, feeling her against me that way.

When we were – far too – deep into our kiss Bella suddenly grazed her tongue across my lips and I was shocked back into my body. I pulled away in the same instant, but kept my body against Bella's.

After a few seconds Bella unexpectedly sucked in a ragged breath and I realized she hadn't been breathing during our kiss...which had been quite a while.

Bella looked fairly apprehensive when she gazed at me. I could just about imagine what I looked like at that moment: my jaw was locked, my teeth were bared and I was staring at Bella like I was going to murder her. Gradually I gained control over myself and I tried to smile.

'Woops.' She breathed all of a sudden and I burst out into laughter. I looked like I was going to murder her right then and there and Bella said 'whoops'. She truly was amazing.

She pursed her lips and frowned at me. 'I guess I got carried away there.'  
I shook my head and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. 'You weren't the only one.' I breathed huskily and smoothed out the frown between her brows.

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**REVIEW! PLEASE**

**xxx**

**Finally we're into the lovey-dovey stuff, I lóve that!:)**


	21. Chapter 7: Dreams And Nightmares Part 2

**_i..am..BAAAACK! Aren't you guys happy?_**

**_Ok, so I realize a whole bunch of you probably aren't exactly happy about the fact that I was...gone..for pretty much 3 months. SORRY!_**

**_But I promise I'm gonna finish the story now! And I've gotten a lot of requests about a sequel (which I think is pretty early to ask, cuz we're not even halfway into the story with this one, but I don't mind haha.) and I'm thinking about it, I'll let you know;)_**

**_Anyway, I hope you enjoy this part. Luv it, AGAIN. And already working on the next part, so you'll just have to wait 4 a little while;)_**

* * *

We sat there for a while then, both processing what had just happened.

I had actually kissed Bella; I had kissed her with just the right amount of force – maybe not enough control – to keep her alive.  
Apparently though, I hadn't only managed to do that, but I had also stunned Bella to the very extent that she hadn't been able to form sentences for about 10 minutes now and I was thoroughly enjoying it.

After 9 minutes and 36 seconds she took a deep breath and sighed as she stared at the sky, the corners of her lips turning down. 'M-maybe…' she began again, looking for the words, but not finding them.

I leaned forward and whispered: 'I'll take you home.'

Her breath hitched and she blinked a few time before she nodded.

Carefully, but not giving her the time to get away, I slung her onto my back and stood.  
I heard her intake of breath and glanced over my shoulder, checking if she was okay.

'Whát are you doing?' She squeaked and I laughed.  
'I'm taking to you to my car.' I glanced over my shoulder again and met her horror-struck eyes. 'I thought you wanted to get home?'

She frowned and pursed her lips, which almost made me pull her from my back and into my arms, but I resisted. 'Well, it isn't so much about wánting.' She told me and smiled timidly.  
Suddenly she frowned again. 'But remind me, why am I on your back again?' She parted her lips and tilted her face, looking like a lost puppy.

'Hold on tight.' I answered and winked before sprinting off into the forest.

While I was running, all my cares seemed to disappear for a while - only to return later though. And the feeling of Bella on my back filled me with happiness; I felt complete.  
Just before I reached my car, I was beginning to wonder if she was ok; her heart was going wild and her breathing wasn't exactly in its regular rhythm either.

When we reached my Volvo I waited patiently for Bella to climb off my back. She hadn't moved a finger for a while now and I was getting worried. I carefully reached around my back with one hand and wrapped it around her waist, grabbing her and pulling her into my arms. She looked quite sweet, but also devastatingly fragile. 'Are you all right?' I whispered and watched the wind softly move her hair.

Her eyes met mine, but she fluttered her eyelids like she had just woken up out of a deep slumber. 'Bella?' I repeated, the worry now also creeping into my voice.

'I-I…I think I need to sit down.' She looked adorable, but I quickly laid her down on some springy ferns.  
I wanted to kiss her again and I swiftly bent forward, but I stopped when Bella pulled away – even though her eyes beckoned me to come closer.

'I d-don't think that is such a good idea, I'm already dizzy enough.' She explained to me and strained to sit up again.

I reached out to help her get up, but before she even moved an inch she shot back down onto her back. 'Also not a good idea.'

I laughed, but when Bella didn't glare at me - or anything similar to that - I started to worry. 'Are you feeling unwell?' _Stupid, stupid, stupid! Never should have run with her!_

She finally sat up after a minute or so and glanced over at me from between her hands. 'I'm _fine_.' She groaned and tried to get up, but obviously needed my help and I swiftly put my hand under her elbow, pulling her up.

She wobbled and I proceeded to support her with my arm around her waist. She grabbed my hand tightly in hers as I guided us slowly towards my car.

Her complete and utter trust in me still amazed me. She had just spent a few _hours_ alone with me, even with the knowledge that I am a vampire. And now she held the vampire's hand for support, she let herself be vulnerable.

When I opened the passenger side door and she sat down she seemed to realize who and where she was again, her eyes bright and inquisitive.

I got in quickly and revelled in her scent, which had already filled the entire car. Bella diverted her gaze away from me while she spoke. 'Are you...uhm...really...taking me home?' She spoke so softly at the end a human wouldn't have understood, but I did and I was glad I did. A blush slowly crept up her cheeks and I reached out to touch them.  
The way she spoke and acted didn't leave much to guess at, she wanted to be with me; she didn't want me to leave her – yet.

'Well,' I began and she turned to me again, locking her warm eyes with mine. 'I don't think your father would appreciate it if I didn't.' If I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her I had to get used to obeying to her father's rules. I was _a few_ years older than him, but he was her father and he had every right to protect his little girl – as he should.

'True, he wouldn't have, had he been home.' She giggled quietly and laid her hand over mine on her cheek.

'Where would you like to go then?' I responded, clueless.

'What is your favourite place to spend time?' She responded immediately and I instantly felt the weight of that question, but not in the way I was getting used to. I was getting used to being scared of her reactions about my 'being a vampire', but I wasn't used to being scared of her reactions about my...feelings for her. I loved her, but did she love me back?

I sighed softly and bent over towards her. 'You.'

She exhaled and stared at me like I was one of the 7 Wonders of the World.  
After a few seconds she blinked and shook her head almost unnoticeably. 'I'm not a place though,' she began and smiled. 'so, that doesn't really count.'

I smiled back at her and chuckled, while slowly driving towards my home – I decided I was taking her there. I _should_ have thought that deciding for her was a bad thing, but I couldn't really care less while staring into her eyes.  
'This is one of my favourite places.' I said then and realized that I had shared one of my 'personal' places with Bella, which was quite something for me. I also acknowledged the fact that Bella was changing me and I accepted that fact. Sometimes it still surprised me that our minds worked this fast; all that in not more than a second!

That threw her off for a moment and she frowned…until a sudden glint – that I'd seen before and now recognized – appeared in her eyes again.

'What are you thinking about?' I asked quickly and felt myself move even closer towards her.

'Nothing.' She breathed and a triumphant smile appeared on her face.

I let that go for the moment, since I didn't want to do anything that would make that smile disappear. 'You know what, you should eat something.'

I clicked a button next to a screen in my dashboard, dialled Alice's number and clicked the 'call-button'. It didn't even get the chance to ring…

Only then did I realize that because of the speaker option Bella was going to hear this. _Great_. I sighed just before a high-pitched voice exploded out of the speakers. 'HI, EDWARD! YES, I'VE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF IT!'

I pinched my nose bridge and exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself. 'Hello, Alice, and thank you.'

Alice was quiet for a second then and I understood why immediately; Bella was looking at me and was - unsuccessfully - muffling a few giggles that were trying to escape her. The strange gulps of air that were coming out of her nose however sort of gave her away. 'Hi, Bella, by the way! Sorry, I was too excited about what Edward was about to ask me to do. And Bella?'

Bella's eyes grew huge and she clasped the side of the seat with her left hand. 'Y-yes, Alice?'

'I wouldn't do it, if I were you. He's a vampire, you're human; you're going to _lose_.' She went quiet for a second, but suddenly seemed to remember something. 'No, wait. Maybe you shóúld do it. Yes, yes, you should!'

Bella scrunched her nose up and bit her lip at the same time; she let go of the seat and leaned forward towards the speakers, as if it would benefit the conversation. 'Alice…what? You realize I don't understand anything you're saying, right?'

Alice laughed and I heard her put some kind of metal on stone in the background. 'Yes, I do, but you will. Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow! Bye!'

'Goodbye, Alice.' I responded quickly and closed the call. 'Sorry about that, Alice can be…quite enthusiastic at times.' I said to Bella and smiled gently.

'Oh, that's fine. She reminds me of my mother, but a tad more hysterical.' She chuckled and smiled back at me, her cheeks flushing once more.

'Here we are.' I said and pointed to my house just at the end of the driveway. 'This is…home.'

Slowly Bella's lips fell apart and her hands fell down beside her. 'That…is…your…hóúse?' She asked after a moment, while I parked the car in front of the garage.  
I nodded carefully, bracing myself for her reaction.

'It's _amazing_!' She breathed and I let out the breath I was holding in. She always managed to surprise me – the house wasn't _that_ impressive, but it was perfect for us. 'So, when did you become a millionaire exactly?'  
I wasn't going to tell her it was more like a…billionaire…or a trillionaire.

I moved around the car within a second and appeared at the passenger side door, opening it before Bella got the chance to. 'Thank you.' She grudgingly told me, but nearly jumped out of the car, gaping.

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**_I hope you liked it!_**

**_REVIEW!_**

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	22. Chapter 7: Dreams and Nightmares Part 3

**Did you like the last part? Soooo, as I promised here's the second part of this chapter. This is more of a "get-through" part, because I needed to let you see that Bella&Eddieboy were really forming a relationship and not just a "I fell in you with you over night"thing. **

**It's a funny part though, with some cute little remarks and stuff;)**

**hope you have fun reading it**

**(btw, this chapter's got 4 parts, not three)**

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I slowly led the way, holding Bella's hand as we walked up to the front door. Bella looked like she was inspecting every single corner and surface of the house, her eyes huge.

I opened the door and motioned for her to go in first.

She looked around the living room for a few seconds, taking everything in, letting her eyes linger on the piano for a while before turning back to me.  
'Really, Edward,' she began; my name leaving her mouth filled me with joy. 'your house is beautiful.'

I closed the door behind me and a heavy silence enveloped us. She turned back towards the living room again and I watched as she frowned and bit her lip at the same time.  
'I'll be sure to tell Esmée that you like it, she'll be glad to hear it.' I told her, keeping my voice light and calm. Why was she frowning? Could she be afraid, hearing the door close behind her and perhaps finally realizing she was alone with a vampire?

'Is something troubling you?' I whispered, while moving to stand close behind her, perhaps creating a sense of security.

She shivered slightly, but still smiled – hesitantly – as she turned towards me again. Maybe the whispering wasn't the best idea. 'Yes, actually.' She laughed nervously and gestured towards the living room. 'I'm kind of afraid that I'll break something! Everything looks so expensive!'

I laughed freely, a wave of tension leaving my body. 'You won't break anything.' I promised and walked ahead into the living room, wanting to give her a tour of the house.

'Have you met me? I'm a walking disaster.' She laughed again and I closed my eyes for a second to listen to the lovely melody.

'True, but I'm also here and I'm not going to let you break anything.' An unintentional hint of seductiveness floated into my words and I watched curiously as a blush coloured Bella's cheeks.

'Okay then, show me your house.' She smiled broadly and hesitantly grabbed my hand, which I gladly took.

'Follow me.' I said as we crossed the living room and went into the kitchen. 'We'll start here: the kitchen. It isn't exactly that important for us and this is the first time that it's going to be used!' I flitted through the kitchen, grabbing all the ingredients that were mentioned on the cooking recipe that Alice had left on the kitchen counter.

Bella was still standing near the doorway, looking a bit frustrated. 'Everything alright?' I stopped right in front of Bella.  
She gasped and I chuckled as her eyes focused on me. 'I was trying to watch you, but you're too fast.' She blushed once more and I smiled crookedly, while letting my fingertips softly brush her jaw line. 'I could move in a human pace if-' I began reassuringly, but Bella cut me off. 'No, no, please act like you normally would…if you're not with a _human_.'

I nodded, smiled and went back to preparing some dinner for her.  
Bella sighed and sat on a barstool at the counter, biting her lip because of some thought.

I stopped behind her; she didn't notice anything. 'What are you thinking about?' I breathed into her neck, almost making her jump up from the seat that she was sitting on. 'N-nothing.'

'Nothing?' I repeated questioningly and grazed my nose across her neck, her mouth-watering fragrance drifting around me.

'Uhm…I was wondering where your family is.' She muttered, but seemed dazed.

'_Apparently_, Alice got rid of them. She wanted you to come back here again.' I shook my head, silently laughing at Alice's craziness.  
Bella turned around, our faces no more than a few inches apart, her breath intoxicating me. 'I'd probably love your family.' She assured me sweetly and I breathed out happily.

I swiftly went back to preparing her dinner, watching Bella's every move while doing so.

After a few minutes I'd prepared her a – if I may so – beautiful looking dish: Carpaccio di Carne (Alice's recommendation), Lasagne and I had some ice-cream to top it all off. Even though it looked pretty good, it smelled horrendous.

'There you go. Bon appétit.' I told Bella as I set the plate down on the counter, in front of her.

Her mouth formed a perfect "o" and she breathed in sharply, staring at the plates in front of her. 'I lóve Italian food! Thank you! I didn't know you could cook.' She immediately started with eating the lasagne – I knew you were supposed to eat the Carpaccio first, but whatever Bella wanted.

'Well, I've never cooked before, but it isn't that hard with proper guidelines.' I said simply and went to sit beside her, watching her eat.

Bella looked up from her food, her eyebrows pulled up inquisitively. 'That is _not _fair, you know. It took me a few _years_ to learn how to cook.' She told me, looking quite vulnerable and unbearably sweet.

'You were young.' I told her reassuringly. 'And if I hadn't been able to move as fast as I can, it would have taken me hours.' No, it wouldn't have; I'd still be able to do and think about multiple things at once – being a vampire changed everything.

For a while I just watched her eat, even though it obviously made Bella self-conscious.

When she was done eating I quickly cleaned everything up and grabbed Bella's hand again, pulling her away from the counter and out of the kitchen.

'Your house is so bright…and…open.' Bella whispered, as if the walls would hear her. 'I didn't expect this at áll. Or maybe I did…No, I definitely didn't.'

I shook my head at her, but couldn't help smiling. 'Esmée always decorates houses differently, but usually the white returns in at least one of the rooms and we all love open spaces.'

Bella nodded solemnly and peered up the stairs and seemed to be mulling over something.

'What?' I asked and at that moment Bella shot up the stairs, half-stumbling and half-running as she went.

I shot past her and appeared at the top of the stairs in the same moment, Bella breathed in sharply when she saw me and then slowed her pace.

'What in the world were you doing?' I asked amused and completely confused.

Bella walked up until she was standing on the last step, no more than a few inches apart from me. She pushed her hip to the left, placed her hands on her hips and pouted slightly. Angry-kitten. 'I was trying to beat you upstairs.' Her tone was soft and disappointed.

I chuckled and flitted past her, stopping behind her, so close that my breath moved her hair. 'There you go. You're first.' I whispered, intentionally seductive this time.

Bella breathed out heavily and I saw goose bumps appear on her arms. 'Do you want to continue with the tour?' I asked, and was trying not to laugh.

'Right. Right.' She breathed and she wobbled up the last step.

I took her hand in mine again and she held on tight, steadying herself. Her hand radiated heat into my hand and my arm; I couldn't help smiling at the feeling of it.  
Somewhere, deep inside of myself, I had always considered warmth was the physical manifestation of love and affection. Therefore, us vampires didn't deserve nor were capable of giving or sharing love. Now, that small part of me was letting go, disappearing more and more every moment I was with Bella.

I led her through the corridor at a slow pace, and stopped at the first room.  
Bella inched forward, but suddenly turned back to me, as if she realized something very important. 'Is this your room?' She asked, looking at the ground as if she were ashamed to ask the question.

'No, why? Don't you want to see my room?' I asked puzzled.

She whipped her head back up again, seeming amused. 'No, that's not it.' She stepped a little closer to me, putting her hands on my chest. 'However, I'd rather give other people to choose whether or not they want me to see their rooms.' Bella's cheeks flushed once more and she looked down at my chest.  
She always surprised me.

'They wouldn't mind in the slightest, but if that's what you want.' I put my hand over hers and led her to the end of the corridor.

When we reached my room, Bella kept looking between the door and me. 'Can I…?' She trailed off and I nodded, chuckling to myself.

She opened the door and swiftly got inside, with me right behind her. She took everything in, walking forward until she was standing in the exact middle of the room.  
It looked good. It looked _right_, Bella being in my room. It _felt_ right.

She turned back to me after a minute or so and looked…smug. 'You know, I imagined something like this. It suits you, it really does.'

'Thank you.' Then I suddenly realized something. 'You imagined my room?'

She pulled her eyebrows up and turned towards my stereo set. 'Don't think anything of it. I sort of imagined some flowers or pretty butterflies flying around in here though.' She giggled quietly and flickered her eyes in my direction, blushing bright red.

I stepped closer to her, crossing my arms and intensifying my stare. 'Why exactly would any of those things be in my room?' I questioned fascinated, my voice low.

'Well, your favourite place was a pretty little meadow,' she began teasingly and hesitantly raised her eyes up to meet mine, but she couldn't hide the amusement in them. 'so, I figured that since you liked them that much…' she trailed off and looked down to keep the laughter in, but her breathing betrayed her.

She was going to pay for that one.

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**did you like it?**

**next one's gonna be goood:)**

**REVIEEW! You know it makes me happy:P**


	23. Chapter 7: Dreams and Nightmares Part 4

**I finally made a pretty long one again and I'm réálly proud of myself! Not only because it's a long one, but also because I really really REALLY like it! It's got just the right amount of "umpf" - you know?**

**I hope you guys love it! Because I most certainly do!**

**PS: Yes, I know there's no garden house in Twilight, but this isn't Twilight is it? And I love my "garden house"**

**Btw: this is going to have to be a 5-part-chapter...sorry?**

**ENJOY!**

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I purposely lowered my voice to a growl, while also slightly crouching at the same time. 'You do realize I'm a vampire, don't you?'

Bella backed away from me, her eyes suddenly suspicious. 'Well, I…just…I just thought that maybe you were a "tree hugging-vampire"?' Anxiety entered her voice at the end of her sentence.

I chuckled darkly and let my instincts take over – though not entirely – to show her what kind of a vampire I was.  
Within less than a second I jumped forward; grabbed Bella securely around her waist; turned around in the air and landed on my black leather sofa. The sofa slid across the floor for a moment, ramming the wall. It sounded worse than it was though.

Bella was safely in my arms and sitting on my lap; I could feel her heartbeat going insane and the almost unnoticeable trembling that was fading away more and more with every passing second. After a few minutes her breathing returned to normal and I felt her trying to readjust herself on my lap – I wouldn't let her though.

'That...wasn't _funny_.' She complained irritated and I felt the blush that was spreading across her face. She pushed a little more against my arms, still not achieving anything.

'So,' I whispered into her ear and felt her shiver, causing me to smile hugely. 'what kind of vampire was I again?'

'Tre-' I let a low growl rumble through my chest and Bella instantly tensed, probably feeling as well as hearing it. 'A very scary one.' Her tone wasn't exactly truthful, but it was good enough.

I softened my voice again, and loosened my arms. 'Not that scary, am I?' I asked, sounding exaggeratedly hurt, but deep inside I desperately wanted to know her answer to this question.

'You're OK.' She laughed quietly and adjusted her position on my lap so she could look at me.

I smiled faintly and dropped my eyes, not wanting her to see the fear and worry in them – some part of me still feared that she would run away at some point. Bella manoeuvred her head around a little, trying to meet my eyes, but I didn't let her until I had gained control over my emotions again. _I'm such a human_, I scoffed and looked at the wonder that was Bella. _I wish_, I realised with a sudden pang of pain.

We sat like that for a while; Bella watched my face while I watched the sky change colours, the sky was darkening before my eyes and I realised Bella soon needed to go home again. This wouldn't necessarily mean I wouldn't see her though…

When it really had become dark, Bella seemed to notice too and she started to squint a little. 'Maybe, I should go home. Get some sleep; human thing, you know.'

I laughed without any actual sound, but let my breaths bounce off Bella's neck, causing goose bumps. I realized something then, there was another option! 'We have a small garden house, you could sleep there…if you'd like.'

Bella stared at me, plain confusing in her eyes. 'Your _garden house_ has a bed?'

I frowned; that was the most important question that came up when I asked her if she'd like to sleep in our garden house? 'Yes.' I answered simply.

'I'd be intruding. Your family's away because of me, that's embarrassing enough.' She blushed furiously, causing my throat to burn.

I turned Bella on my lap, forcing her to look at me. 'You could never in_trude_ here and they left because of Alice, not because of you.' Bella was going to understand sooner or later that she couldn't_ intrude_ on anything or anywhere I was. She was my life.

She smiled shyly at that and spoke in the softest whisper. 'Show me.'

I picked her up bridal style and smiled widely as I carried her outside, rapidly making my way to the garden house. The building was almost entirely made out of glass and the rest was made out of white painted wood - shaped like a hexagon In the middle of the house was a big white canopy bed, in the corner were a chair and a small table. The rest of the room was just meant for creating a sense of being outdoors, the glass walls making it feel like you were right outside.

I put her down by the door, letting her adjust and decide for herself what she wanted to do. 'Really, another stunning house? It's stunning…' she trailed off, staring up through the glass roof into the night sky.

After a while she looked back down and studied the bed curiously, walking around it like it held some sort of special memory. 'Do you mind?' Bella asked, her blush radiating heat into the air.

I shook my head, smiling crookedly at her.

Bella crawled onto the bed, lying down in the middle and spread her arms, grabbing fabric on both hands.

I silently walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge – watching Bella.  
She lay there for a moment, before she snapped her head up. She seemed to be looking for something, until she noticed me sitting and smiled widely. 'Lay down.' She told me and the insecurity in her voice was obvious.

I lay down next to Bella, sliding my arms around her and pulling her close to me.  
Bella closed her eyes and pulled herself closer to me.

I revelled in her delicious fragrance - never wanting it to go away and at the same time cursing her scent for its existence.

'Edward,' she mumbled, taking in a deep breath. I smiled at my name leaving her lips. 'will you stay, please?'  
My cold heart melted at her words. She opened her eyes and stared into mine, willing me to say "yes". ' Of course, if you want me to.' I said, adoration and love seeping in and out of my voice.

She smiled, but after a second or two, she blinked in a confused way and frowned. She inched closer to my face - in reaction I slightly pulled away, but she ignored me.

_Oh, no._ I wanted to slap myself: I had forgotten to put new lenses in and the ones I was wearing were almost gone, I realised as I could finally see clearly again.

She was out of my arms and I was out of the bed in a fraction of a second, standing two feet away, knowing she wouldn't be able to see the ruby red of my eyes from that far.

The corners of her mouth turned down in response to my actions. 'What's wrong?' She asked, hurt. I wanted to pull her into my arms again, but she would definitely see my eyes then.

'I need to get something from the house; 1 minute - tops.'

She sat up and she looked like she was about to cry. 'Did I do something?' She asked in a small voice.

'No!' I reprimanded immediately.

'Do you mind me looking in your eyes?' Her look of pain disappeared from her face and she raised her eyebrows questioningly.

'I don't!' I loved it when she looked into my eyes, but maybe not at this exact time.

'Liar.' She said pouting.

_Excuse me?_

I took two strides and sat next to her on the bed, staring into her eyes with as much intensity as I could muster.

Her face went blank, as did her eyes and she blinked twice. What was that?

She pulled herself together after a few seconds and frowned like before, inching forward as she did.

_Crap._ I sighed as I realised she'd tricked me.

'I knew it! You're wearing lenses.' She blurted out with a sudden smile.

I inhaled deeply and sighed. 'Yes.' Of course it was only a matter of time before she'd notice. Bella noticed everything about me.

The lenses were also thinning fast, it would be less than ten minutes before they'd be gone and if I didn't leave to change them, she'd see the monster in my eyes. The monster that drank blood from humans, that killed them.

She caressed my cheek with her right-hand and looked sympathetic. 'I thought vampires could see better than humans.' She laughed, trying to pull me out of my self-chastising session.

I wrapped my arms around her and laid us on the bed on our sides, our faces sideways on the pillows.

She deserved better than me. _Why can't I just leave?_ I knew the answer to that question: I loved her.

She hesitated for a second. 'I-I love you.'

My breathing stopped and after decades it felt like my heart was beating again.

She loved me. She loved mé! Though I knew it was wrong, I was ecstatic – Bella had said she loved me. It was impossible, but she had.  
She was blushing crimson and I felt her warmth on my face as I thought about what I would say in response. 'You know that I love you, I love you more than anything or anyone. You're my world, my everything.'

She stared at me, seeming dazed.

I could still see some vague scratches and I felt the lenses, so they were still there. Why did she seem scared? 'Are you okay? Did I say somethi-'

She put a finger to my lips to silence me and I closed my eyes at her touch. 'Hush, you're ruining my moment.'

I opened my eyes and smiled. 'Your moment?'

'Yes, I was thinking about what you said, repeating it in my head.' She said glowing.  
'I can repeat it, if you like?' I asked, trying to muffle a chuckle.  
'I'd like that.' She smiled.  
'You're perfect.' I said, adoringly.  
'That's not repeating.' She said, pouting again.  
I pulled her closer and growled silently. She just giggled in response - of course. The growling should scare her, I certainly didn't do it on purpose - most of the time - but Bella seemed to _like_ it.

'It's still the truth.' I smiled and kissed her neck.

We were both silent then and stared into each other's eyes.

'Did you realize your lenses are evaporating?' She almost panted in my ear after a moment, while I was skimming my nose across her collarbone. 'Is that normal?'

I groaned and stopped blinking - we also didn't need to do that - since that would speed up the process of dissipating the lenses. She noticed everything about me and until now she had, apparently, _loved_ everything. Although she could still dislike some things, at least the good things - which good things? - won out over the bad things. If she saw the real colour of my eyes, would she fear me then; would she run away screaming; would I let her?

She pulled back slightly to look into my eyes, or rather át my eyes.

I closed my eyes, not wanting her to see.

I felt her fingers on my cheek again, as she breathed heavily on my face - the scent was amazing. 'Edward.' Her tone was pleading.  
Her fingers slid to my chin and she laid her other hand upon my other cheek.

I tried to remain still; the lenses were gone.

'Edward?' She said, worry was creeping into her voice. 'Edward, please open your eyes.'

I couldn't refuse her of anything, but I also didn't want to show her my eyes or leave. Leaving would have been the "smartest" choice, but she'd have to see sometime - I didn't want to, neither did I seem able to keep secrets from Bella.

I opened my eyes and waited for the scream.

Bella's eyes grew wide and her pupils dilated as she took in my ruby red eyes. Her lips parted as she caressed under, above and next to my eyes.

The feelings that coursed through me then were unnerving.

_What are you thinking?  
_Almost as if she'd heard me think she said: 'It's beautiful.' She said, still caressing my cheek and she pulled herself closer.

She thought my eyes were _beautiful_? Was she kidding me? She couldn't possibly like these killer-eyes.  
I just stared into her wide brown eyes, pools of perfect chocolate. 'You're not scared?' I asked.

'No, it's...indescribable.'

I stared into her eyes again and her face went blank, but unlike other times...it was as if she completely forgot who and where she was. Her heart stuttered and she sucked in a ragged breath after a few uneasy seconds on my side.

'Bella? Are you okay?' I asked, was she sick? Was she scared?  
'I'm fine, you...dazzled me.'  
I chuckled. 'I what?'  
She blushed. 'You dazzled me, you do it all the time.' She giggled.

I _dazzled _her. I was now grinning from ear to ear.

Then she did something I definitely wasn't expecting. She almost pounced me! She pushed me - I let her - on my back and went to hover over me - both hands on either side of my face.

'Bella, I can't...we can't...' I trailed off, hoping she'd realize what I meant.

She nodded understandingly. 'I know. I wasn't planning on doing...that.' She rolled her eyes.

Then I felt her hands at the top button of my shirt, but she kept my eyes locked to hers.

She unbuttoned the first button of my shirt and smiled shyly. She let her fingers slide across my chest before unbuttoning further down my shirt.

Her fingers were warm and I shivered when she reached my abdomen. She stared hesitantly at my face again, studying me. I smiled back gently, wanting and needing her to continue.

She had unbuttoned the shirt entirely then and I shrugged it off.

I was slightly worried about the feeling of my skin to her, would it repulse her? It never had before though.

She seemed to be taking the sight of me in for a while, before she carefully caressed my chest with her fingertips.

I shivered and growled. _Woops_. Bella didn't look scared, just a bit stunned, but I regretted my actions nonetheless.

'I'm sorry,' I muttered apologetically. 'I didn't want to sc-'

'Don't you finish that sentence!' Bella snapped at me and glowered. 'Have I been scared of you yet?' She asked, the anger gone from her voice.

I shook my head and she grinned.

'So, stop thinking that I'll be scared of you at some point and just-'

'But you will.' I mumbled and the sadness was clearly visible in my eyes. 'At some point you'll see something that scares you so much you'll run away from me, screaming as you go.' I could see my face reflected in Bella's eyes and I had to admit I looked heartbroken.

I tried to smile at her, but the best I could do was slightly pull up the corners of my lips. 'I won't stop you. You shou-' I tried to add, but Bella silenced me with her lips on mine.

'Don't.' She whispered when we finally let each other go.

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	24. Chapter 7: Dreams and Nightmares Part 5

**This was a short one, but I need to end the chapter (it already had 4 parts! :O)  
I still like it though, it's really about the bond between B&E that keeps growing stronger;)**

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Warmth was spreading throughout my body, my nerves seemed as though they were on fire. My skin and hers created sparks - everywhere we touched was electrified.

Bella fell asleep rather quickly after she had last spoken. She lay down on my chest and closed her eyes, within a few seconds she was fast asleep.  
I couldn't quite believe this was happening. Bella, the one I loved and who also loved _me_, was sleeping in the full knowledge that I was awake and that I was a vampire. Not only was she sleeping in my presence, she was sleeping with her head on my chest.

I couldn't believe that my chest was actually _comfortable_ to her; she could as well be sleeping on a boulder. Cold and hard.

I shook that thought away at once, remembering she was here…with me. I kept reminding myself of that fact and kept looking at her. She seemed so peaceful.

After a few hours, as I expected, Bella started talking in her sleep again. Now however, she didn't appear calm or peaceful in the slightest.  
A small frown appeared on her forehead and she squinted her eyes, worry evidently visible on her face.

I gently caressed her face, hoping that her subconscious would pick up on it.

Apparently it did, but not in a particularly good way.  
'Edward…' She mumbled after a while, her face contorted. 'No, please don't. Edward!' She screamed and trashed, but didn't wake up.

I couldn't handle seeing her like this though and shook her frame a little, waking her up. 'Bella, I'm here. Bella!'

Her eyes shot open and they were wild, like she had just seen a serial killer.

She wasn't far off.

'Bella, are you okay?' I repeated, hoping to get some kind of a reaction now.  
After a moment her eyes focused on me and she blinked a few times, hopefully truly waking up this time.

'Edward…' She whispered again and buried her face in my chest, crushing herself to me.  
I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her, and spread feather light kisses all over her face.

After a minute or so Bella looked up at me, her eyes meeting mine, but finally somewhat calm. 'I had a nightmare, I'm sorry…'

'Don't be sorry, it isn't your fault, neither is it something worth apologizing for. Nightmares are completely normal.' I told her gently, keeping her eyes locked with mine.

'Then I apologize for screaming about god-knows-what.' She continued unperturbed.

I put on the most neutral face I could manage and even succeeded in smiling, even though it was rather unimpressive. 'You said my name, or rather, you _screamed_ my name.'

Bella scrutinized my face and frowned. After a second or two she gasped and seemed perplexed. 'You think I had a nightmare about yóú, don't you?'

I remained quiet, staring at her beautiful and faintly angry face.

She rolled her eyes and gripped both of my shoulders, demanding me to look into her eyes – which I didn't mind at all. 'I did, you're right. I had a nightmare about you.'  
I couldn't contain the hurt flashing across my face before I composed myself, but Bella noticed, of course. 'You were leaving me. You were leaving me and I begged you to stay.' Moisture appeared in the corners of her eyes and I felt her hands tremble.

'I'd never leave you.' I told her honestly. I would never abandon her, I couldn't.

She moved her gaze away from me, and I could clearly see the corners of her lips turning down.

'Bella?' I whispered gently and tried to meet her eyes. 'What's wrong?'

She finally looked up and met my eyes, but her smile was forced and I could see the worry in her eyes. 'Nothing.'

I decided that maybe it would be better if I let this go for now, she seemed more fragile than ever at that moment and I didn't want to drive her over the edge. 'Maybe you should get some more sleep, you aren't even halfway through the night yet.'

She shook her head and scrunched her nose, like just the mere thought of sleeping was something she disliked. 'No, I don't think I cán sleep anymore.' She paused and smiled at me. 'And I don't really want to either.'

I couldn't contain the smile that spread across my face and the desire to kiss her overwhelmed me.  
I flipped her over onto her back, hovering over her with my hands next to her face.

Bella giggled and in the back of my mind I noticed a low growling sound. Bella immediately stopped laughing and blushed crimson, making my throat burn.

_Get a grip_, I told myself and realized I couldn't do…this. I was always endangering Bella by being around her, but this…the playfulness…the physical aspect of our relationship, even the insignificant touches or teasing things like these ones, were far too dangerous.

I rolled over in a smooth movement, getting up in the same instant. 'What do you want to do then?'

Bella's face crumpled slightly, but she tried not to show it and smiled. She clumsily made her way across the bed and stopped to sit on the edge, her legs swinging back and forth a few inches above the ground. 'What cán we do?'

I wanted to say "everything you want", but I guessed Bella wasn't going to respond to that one. She always surprised me or made things harder – in a good way. 'We could take a walk or watch a movie…' _What's a normal human thing to do?_ 'Or I could play something for you.' I think that if I had been able to blush, I would have then.

She stood and smiled timidly, staring at my chest. 'Play something for me? Do you mean on the piano?'

I put my finger under her chin, making her look at my face and nodded.

'I'd love that.' She murmured and bit her lip; this made me concentrate on her lips again and the desire to kiss her grew even stronger.

I scooped her up and kissed her while running to the main house.

When we reached my piano I carefully placed Bella on the bench in front of sit and went to sit next to her. She smiled shyly at me and slid a little closer, the left side of her body touching my right.

'I learned to play to piano during…my first life.' I spoke softly while letting my fingers glide over the keys; I knew exactly what I was going to play. 'I never stopped…not even after...' I swallowed unnecessarily and closed my eyes as memories overwhelmed me.

Bella cupped my face in her hands and I stopped playing, staring back into her brown pools. 'Tell me when you're ready, I can wait.' Bella whispered, her breath washing over my face.

I leaned forward and kissed her with all the love I could express.

'I was dying of Spanish influenza,' I told her when we broke our kiss. Bella still appeared dazed, her eyes fluttering. 'it was 1918 and at the time I lived in Chicago, with my…biological parents.' Since my change, I didn't remember much about my parents.  
I knew what my mother looked like and that she feared that I would join the army. I remembered that my father was a rather strict, but kind man.  
That was about it; during the first few years of my _second life_, I didn't try to remember anything of my human life…, which resulted in losing the few memories I had left. Carlisle had learned that the memories he had thought of in the early years of his second life were the ones he could still remember now. Every memory from our human years, both the ones we remembered during our existence as a vampire and the ones we didn't, always appeared murky, dark and fuzzy to us, but that was just due to the difference in vision between _us_ and humans.  
'Carlisle saved me…' I couldn't remove the bitterness and feeling of injustice from my voice. Bella noticed and leaned into me, her body warming mine. I protectively put my arm around her and she let her head rest beneath my chin.

'I'm glad he did.' She whispered tentatively, probably afraid of my reaction.

I smiled into her hair and kissed the top of her head, taking in her wonderful fragrance. 'I'm glad too.'

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**please review...?**

******Next chapter's gonna be funny. **


	25. Chapter 8: Happiness Part 1

_**I'm baaaack my little Twilighties! OKAY, SO A TRILLIONBILLIONGAZILJON SORRIES... I know, I haven't posted in**_** months...but, well, I don't really have an excuse.. I think I just got bored with the story for a while, but I ám going to finish it though. I figured that I should finish what I started and not only that, but I had some amazing ideas for a possible sequel to this story, because I know what the ending to this one going to be hehehe. **_  
_

**So, without further ado..here we gooooo!**

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__**Happiness**

_AND I AM SOOOOOOOOO GLAD TOOOOO! You have no idea. _Alice yelled loudly in her mind, making me cringe away from Bella for just a second.

I lifted her swiftly, barely touching her and placed her on my lap, while locking my arms securely around her. Alice wasn't getting anywhere near her – the things she was thinking about wouldn't exactly...please Bella.

_Oh-my-god, Edward! The stuff I bought for her, it's a-ma-zing! Really, I know you've probably already seen it by now, but I'm keeping it a secret how it'll look on her. You're going to be só...well, I guess "happy" will do. Oh, Eddie-_

I growled loud enough for Alice to hear – which wasn't loud at all really - and while Bella blushed, Alice came crashing into the living room. Laughing.

Bella jumped at the sound and her eyes flashed around the room, she didn't look quite as surprised as I had expected her to be though.

_Actually, you should be-_ I growled again. Alice rolled her eyes at me and thought daggers at me in the same second, without Bella noticing, but continued her sentence in the "normal" way. 'very happy that I bought this for Bella; I know she'll be stubborn at first, but once she sees how _happy_' she raised her eyebrows at Bella, who just stared back blankly. 'it will make you, she'll wear it gladly.'

'Alice,-' I objected, but was cut short before I could even begin by _Bella_.

'And whát is it that Bella – I mean…I - will be wearing exactly?' She tried to sound confident and strong, but her voice faltered and she ended up sounding frightened and cautious. In response, I increased the hold I had on her. From my peripheral vision I saw Bella smiling at my action and she leaned into my form slightly more, making me smile too.

Alice almost pounced on her and I pulled Bella and I away from Alice, feeling another growl growing within me. '_Show _her the…' I swiftly explored Alice's mind to try and find out what it was that she had bought. _Dior, D&G, Armani had this lovely new collection! Seriously, you're going to die..well, maybe not _die_, but you're going to _love _her in all of it! _Alice's lips curved up at the corners, a mischievous glint in her eyes. _Especially the Victori-_  
My eyes almost literally exploded when Alice slipped and remembered a vision of Bella in very _revealing_ clothing and raised an eyebrow at my obviously shocked face. 'Like it?' She asked tentatively.  
Bella just watched our silent conversation with an honestly interested expression.  
Alice pursed her lips and grew a bit nervous at my silence. 'Hate it – or me?'  
I slowly shook my head, the shock on my face replaced with my usual calmness.  
Alice grinned and laughed. '_Looooove_ it?'

I rolled my eyes at which Bella frowned, her face now more or less irritated. 'Okay, so, I guess I normally wouldn't mind you _mindtalking_ it out all day, but since this "conversation",' she made little quote signs in the air and I couldn't help smiling at her irritation. 'is about me, I would _appreciate_ it if I was included into it.'  
I smiled reassuringly. 'Don't worry, it's not important.'

She raised her eyebrows and turned her body around towards me. 'Everything that makes you _love_ something that has to do with me is kind of important – so, Alice?'

Alice grinned again and grabbed Bella's wrist, pulling her away from me and towards the stairs. 'Oh, Bells, you're not going to instantly fall in love with them yourself, but it's going to be worth it – _believe_ me!'

_Don't peek anymore, it isn't fun that way! Go….play the piano or something. _

I rolled my eyes at Alice's eagerness and turned towards the piano again, my fingers easily finding the keys.

Bella whined and jerked her head around towards me while Alice pushed her up the stairs. 'Edwaaaaaaard! HELP ME!'

I grinned back at her and waved with one hand – the other still gliding across the keys. 'You seem to be perfectly capable of handling any situation on your own, so, you might need to get out of this one yourself.' This would cost me later, but it was definitely worth seeing the kitten-like rage spread across her face and her jaw drop like a fish'.

_So, we'll start with the blue.._

Alice was in front of me. Alice was in front of me? 'GET OUT OF MY HEAD!' She yelled and started jumping up and down while repeating the sentence that was destroying my hearing – figuratively speaking of course. 'GET OUT OF MY HEAD, GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUUUUUUT!'

I grinned wickedly and stood up, raising my hands in defeat. 'All right, all right, I'll leave.' I flashed next to Alice, peering down at her small form. 'Bút, you can't _force_ her to do anything she doesn't want to do, Alice. There's _asking _and _telling_, and you're going to _ask_ her _everything_! If she's even the slightest bit unhappy when I come back…I won't tell you anything about Jasper's little plan.'

_JASPER'S LITTLE PLAN? JASPER'S GOT PLANS? Edwaaaaaard…_ Her eyes got huge and she pursed her lips dramatically at me, looking like a lost puppy.

'Nope, just keep her happy and I'll tell you – maybe.'

_I hate you._ She growled and ran up the stairs again, coaxing a small shriek out of Bella. I laughed pretty loudly; making sure Bella was able to hear me from upstairs and walked out the house at a leisurely pace.

The 'leisurely pace' I was walking in wasn't exactly helping with the not-being-able-to-_hear_-Alice though, so I took off running – straight into the forest surrounding our house.  
Running had always been my 'happy place', offering me peace – both from everyone's voice in my head and the sorrow this half-life brought me - when there was none and made me forget. Just forget. But now, running away from the house, running away from my problems didn't seem like the right thing to do…actually, I felt horrible. The farther I ran, the bigger the distance between me and the house got, the stranger and more uncomfortable I felt. _Bella_. Bella was my new 'happy place', she was where I felt happy and peaceful and just the thought of even being away from her for the shortest of times was making my stomach turn – well, figuratively speaking of course.

After about 15 minutes of running I couldn't stand it any longer and I made a 180˚ turn and ran back towards the house as fast as I was able to. I was back in about 10 minutes, having run much faster than before.  
I walked into the house at a normal _human_ pace though and went to sit on the couch, while enjoying the…background music.  
'BELLA! OH MY GOOOOD! YOU LOOK LIKE A QUEEN! NO, BETTER, YOU LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS! A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS! NO, NO, NO! YOU LOOK LIKE A _VAMPIRE_ PRINCESS,' Alice finally lowered her voice. 'I mean, I don't want to sound arrogant or anything but we áre designed to be…attractive.'

I stopped breathing and focused on listening to the conversation, not that I needed to, but somehow this seemed like it was going to be interesting.

'Alice…thank you, but I know I could never look like one of you. You guys are gorgeous.'  
I could see Bella's face fall at her own words through Alice's mind and clenched my jaw at her insecurity – when was she going to see that she was the most beautiful woman in the world?

Alice giggled. 'Aw, Bella, that's nice, but…I think you should've perhaps taken a look at yourself in the mirror before you said that.'

I zoned out of Alice's mind and tried to focus on entirely different things, though it was extremely hard since Alice was almost screaming at the top of her mental lungs.

Bella gasped and I frowned, curiosity threatening to take over as I almost decided to take a sneak-peek in Alice's mind.  
'Do you want to go down to Edward?' Alice asked softly.  
Bella audibly closed her mouth and I could hear her uneven breathing, her heart going faster every passing second. 'Yes.' She answered shakily and I heard the door open and close and turned as they walked down the stairs.

I waited at the bottom of the stairs, trying to breathe evenly as my breathing also sped when I saw Bella's slender, milky and pretty _exposed_ legs coming down the stairs, followed by her perfect..just perfect body and heavenly face.  
She was indescribable, beautiful beyond words. I had lived for more than a hundred years, learned almost every word and phrase in the english language, learned multiple other languages as well, for example thé two languages that represented love itself - French and Italian -, I read the most complicated and wonderful literary masterpieces, saw the fairest of plays, but I still couldn't find the words to describe how absolutely divine Bella looked.

She was dressed in a short-sleaved midnight blue dress that flowed out until just above her knees - thankfully it _flowed_, because I don't think I would have survived a tighter dress than this one - even though from her waist on up the dress outlined her perfect figure and then there was her..cleavage, Alice had certainly made sure that 'attribute' of Bella's was well pointed out. Bella almost tripped at the last step and I caught her, placing her back on her feet immediately, but letting my hands linger on her hips for just a moment.  
Bella then took one step back and smiled shyly while blushing and proceeding to spin around one time to 'properly show me herself'. I gasped and had to swallow back the venom that was now pooling in my mouth - thought it definitely wasn't because of her blood.  
'You look...you look..' I was nearly salivating all over her and Bella didn't even seem to notice, just as I was _almost_ oblivious to Alice's silent laughter from the corner of the room.  
Bella almost jumped suddenly and happily pointed towards her feet. 'Look, I'm wearing hééls!' She looked back up at me and I quickly take my hungry stare away from her legs, elongated by the matching midnight blue heels. She continued unbeknownst of my intense stare: 'At first, I was _really_ mad at Alice for forcing me to wear heels,' she winked at Alice and smiled again, finally looking me right in my eyes. 'but...she..convinced me..that...' she trailed off and her eyes grew huge as she gazed at me apprehensively, but suddenly a blush covered her entire face and she bit her lip seductively.

'Do you like it?'

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**_So..DID you like it? I hope you did, because I certainly did. I like the thought of Edward almost drooling over Bella hahaha, I always thought Bella should be a little bit more sexy and less 'boring'. Let the girl wear some freaking killer-heels for once!_**

**_Ow btw, for the one who are interested: Bella was going to say 'but she convinced me that you would catch me if I'd fall, which I wouldn't mind at all.'  
I liked that little flirt-sentence, but I thought it was funnier this way - don't you think?_**

**_ANYWAY, on to the next chapter!_**

**_X_**


	26. Chapter 8: Happiness Part 2

**Hi...I'm BACK ! It took me about a year to figure out wether I wanted to continue writing this story or not...and I decided I'm going to finish it ! :D  
Soooo, here we go :)**

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Alice was gone. She'd been gone for about 50 seconds now and Bella had been staring at me, waiting for me to say something, for about 45..46..47.. The seconds were ticking by, but I couldn't fathom what I could possibly say that would do Bella justice, that would tell her everything I was thinking at that moment.  
When Bella swallowed audibly, her stare turning towards her feet, I snapped. Slowly, trying my best to be gentle, I pushed her face back upwards with my index finger underneath her chin - my other hand cupping her neck. "I love you so much."

Her eyes popped slightly, the corners of her mouth turning upwards. "I lo-", she began happily, but my body wouldn't let her finish.

Her lips on mine felt perfect. She was soft and warm and perfection and heaven and everything that I'd ever needed or possibly could've wished for. She was _mine_.

"Edward," she sighed into my shoulder, when I started kissing a trail down from her cheek to her neck. "I'm really trying to be..." I sucked on the spot beneath her ear, making her squirm in my arms. "Oh, my _gód_!" She finally seemed to be giving in, her body melting against mine, while her hands wove into my hair, pulling slightly. "I'm really trying to be...góód here..but you're making it...kinda..." she sighed once more, her face visibly flushing. "hard."

I pulled back and thoroughly inspected her face. "Who ever told you to be good..?"

Her eyes popped again, but this time her mouth fell open as well. "I-I...yóú did!" She exasperated.

My smile faded and I plopped down on the sofa behind me and Bella followed almost immediately after.

"I'm just..trying to help." She explained softly, her face flushing once more.  
I sighed, trying to convey to her that I understood with my eyes. She stared at me for a few seconds before she blinked and her eyes turned glassy. "Bella. Bella.." I said, but only when I finally put my hand down on her arm she looked up at me. "Yes! Yes, sorry, I was..yes..I'm...what were you saying?" She rambled, her blush coming on strongly again.

"Are you allright? You seemed to doze off just there."

She nodded and grabbed my hand within hers, turning it over. "Edward."

"Yes?" I was starting to get worried, maybe I'd pushed her too far before, maybe I'd scared her somehow.

"I don't... You confuse me sometimes. One moment you seem like you don't have a problem doing...'stuff',' she blushed fiercely and I couldn't help smiling at her obvious embarrassment. "and then at other times you seem like even being near me is pushing it."

She was right. I was being selfish.. But I couldn't seem to help myself, she was an Angel and I was powerless against her pull towards me. "Bella, believe me when I say that I do wánt to do everything with you, always. But I have more strength in just one finger than you could possibly ever imagine; I could hurt you so easily and I don't ever want to come even _close_ to doing that. You're perfect, but I'm the definition of 'corrupted'."

Bella started out with a small smile, but when I ended my explanation she looked down-right pissed - her hands firmly removed from around mine and placed in her hips. "I-I...I don't even have words for what I'm thinking right now." She stood and turned around, her hands pressing together into little fists.

I stood with her, moving over to her instantly and letting my hands linger on the small of her back. "Don't be upset, please, I promise that-" I breathed into her neck, but she interrupted me by turning around and placing her lips on mine.

She was so _warm_.

"Edward, just stop overthinking and live a little. For me, please?" She said the moment she pulled back from me.

I nodded solemnly and somewhere deep inside of myself I accepted that she might just be right and it could be time for me to start living again.  
"So, love, what would you like to do today, because I don't know wether you noticed or not, but it's only 8.30." I questioned after a few moments of silence on both our parts.

She walked towards the door, holding my hand, while I let her pull me with her. "I had an idea, but that actually requires for it to be evening...so...hmm...can you think of anything?"

Even though I was intensely curious as to what she would want to do in the evening, I couldn't let myself linger on that for too long for I knew exactly what I wanted to do with her; share with her. "The day is going to be really sunny, much like yesterday..and there's a sort of secluded beach nearby that's actually quite nice this time of year."  
She cocked her head to the side, considering my proposition. "Hmm, even though I wouldn't mind a day at the beach, I don't actually own a bathing suit...at least, I didn't bring one with me from back home. Never thought I'd need one out here." She laughed freely, her hair swishing beside her. She looked gorgeous.

I looked towards the right, already having noticed the prominent purple-colored bag in the corner. "I believe Alice might've already thought of that."

* * *

Bella looked absolutely beautiful in the sunlight, her hair, eyes and skin glistening like the beautiful angel she was. "Why in the world did she dress me up like this, when she knew we were going to the beach?!" Bella laughed airily, hopping around on one foot in the sand, trying to pull one of her heels of her other foot.

I put the blanket down on the ground and started pulling out the food Alice had somehow prepared for Bella. I would need to thank her for this later. "Well, you can't swim, the water's most definitely too cold for that, and I have to be honest that I don't mind in the slightest."

She smiled shyly at my comment and rolled her eyes a little, running over when she finally tore off her other heel - crashing into my open arms. "You never told me if you actually like it."  
I winked at her and swooped her up into my arms bridal-style, before whispering into her ear. "You look absolutely ravishing; delicious."

Her blush was so intense that even a human could have probably felt the air around us heat up a little. I lowered us onto the blanket, but kept her in my lap and bent my face towards hers. "Have a little taste then." She whispered throatily, barely audible.

Our lips touched and fireworks erupted inside of me, as always. She locked her arms around my neck, one of my hands making its way across her back to come rest on her hip, and the other keeping her face glued to mine. "Edward." She sighed, when I let my tongue flicker across her bottom lip. My grip on her hip tightened somewhat and I tried pulling her even closer, while making sure that I wasn't hurting her. Her breath was getting labored and I was enjoying it; enjoying the effect I was having on her, enjoying the sight of her flushed face and heavy lids. "Yes, my love?" I breathed seductively.

Even though I might be over a hundred years old and the people from my time and age weren't known as the most 'sexy' ones, I had learned over time what it took to sweep a lady of her feet. Men might be terribly cocky and self-absorbed, but some of their thoughts weren't the worst as they'd honestly taught me some..._things_.

Her mouth opened several times, her eyes flicking from side to side, before she finally deemed herself steady enough to speak. "You're...driving me insane.."

I grinned fully, not scared in the slightest that she might be afraid of my teeth or anything like that, for Bella néver seemed scared of me. "That's the point."

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**It was a short one, but I needed a little push from myself to get back in the game.._ No worries, I'm not gonna let them get at it right there on the beach. _Haha. But I do think that Twilight was far too prudish about anything that even had to do with making out or something. They're teenagers for crying out loud...it can be a bit 'hot'. After this I'm going to go more into the "Edward drinks human blood"thing, so...be prepared.**

**Glad to be back ! 3 love and kisses**


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